The Carver Family

To Do This Week

2010-04-19T11:09:00.007-04:00

1. Make a 3-tiered wedding cake (done before I leave, wedding Saturday and I must say I'm excited about this. I love to make cakes but it's a hobby I don't have time to do frequently so I can't turn it into a mini-business or anything)

2. Purchase everything I need for a Mother/Daughter tea party for 170 people which happens Sunday (and I am in charge of it)

3. Make sure son is packed for camping with Boy Scouts this weekend

4. Pack for trip to Chicago: leave Thursday 3:00pm return late Saturday (only Jackie and I, rest of family stays home)

5. Prep my cucumber sandwiches & crafts for M/D tea

Distractions:

Monday - Help Casey buy class ring

Tuesday - Hair appointment in the AM American Heritage Girls in the PM

Wednesday - Jackie's try-outs for the Agents All Star Cheer squad

God is my miracle worker, so now, here I sit on Monday giddy with anticipation. I love the feeling of God all around me and moving me and working with me and through me and lifting me up and guiding me to ever greater lengths of achievement and organization than I thought possible.

So now I wait. And begin the busy process that is my life this week.

Today's goals:

Go to Sur La Table and buy vanilla
Go to Michael's and buy cake boxes and cake bases
Possibly have to go to IGA for cake boxes
Find/buy non-slip tub liner for cake boxes and car floor so cakes don't slide around
Bake the cakes themselves and brush with simple syrup for extra moisture
Buy ingredients for 4 batches of rolled fondant
Make flowers for cake from gum paste
Take Casey to get his class ring
Make sure Steve is ready for Boy Scouts

Week 1 of 20

2010-04-05T13:53:00.002-04:00

Ok so I have 20 weeks to decide if I want to homeschool.

Another part of the plan for homeschool is that I want each year to be completely outlined and partially prepared by August so the busy school months can be spent carrying out the plan. If I'm not well planned, I'm afraid things won't be as well organized as I'd like, or holidays, trips and other commitments might encroach on planning time.

So this week's homeschool prep goals are as follows:

1. Clean in the office for 10 hours (2 hours a day)
2. Prep the front bathroom for paint
3. Create a master list of subjects I want to teach
4. Pray to see if homeschooling my kids for 2 years is even on God's bucket list for them

I Must Be Crazy

2010-03-26T10:42:00.002-04:00

I'm in the thinking process. Purely speculation at this point. Not to be taken seriously stage. Merely giving ear to a whisper of an idea. This post is merely me thinking as I type, which is very therapeutic for me being a writer by nature. And by the way, my wonderful husband supports me, either way.

I'm contemplating homeschooling Steve and Jackie for 1 year. Possibly 2. Can't be more than 2, it isn't about homeschool it's about taking the last 2 years of childhood my son has and greedily clinging to them with desperation and only sharing my children with others who would love and appreciate their company. In ways teachers are not capable of. And sports for my son are part of public school in 7th grade, I wouldn't dream of taking basketball away from him. Right now it's not part of school, it's Boosters, so any kid in the community can sign up. I would put Jackie back into school after the time was up too, she's a good student and my desire to homeschool has nothing to do with academics. That's merely a bonus.

Academically I discovered that I set the bar far higher than was necessary for public school, but I guess that's normal. Even with all my distractions. There are some subjects I taught Steve that aren't even really taught at our local school at his age, who knew? But of course the teacher really only has about 3 1/2 hours a day of instruction time, and that is at a pace set by the mid-level students in the classroom really, on a good day. And geared towards standardized testing. But academics are not part of my reasoning.

You see I homeschooled my 19 year old for 8 years. The first two years I had her all to myself and the only commitment on my plate was Brownies and her extracurricular activities (which were many and varied, but all in the evening). The second two years I was toting a baby along, or sometimes not as he went to childcare, with no commitments of his own. We went EVERYWHERE. Tons of museums, tons of 1-1 time, we did all sorts of things. It was fabulous.

And I have never had the chance to enjoy Steve and Jackie the way I did Candy and I am one of the moms who actually do know the difference having had kids in school and also having homeschooled. I homeschooled Candy out of necessity which is why Steve and Jackie are in public school as I type. I like public school. And so do my kids.

When I homeschooled Steve Jr it was out of necessity as well, but at a time in my life when I was loaded up with volunteer commitments and Candy's senior year (any mom who has lived thru that understands what I'm talking about! LOL). So though he did way better with me than he would have in school, and our goals of helping him...mend his brain from off-the-charts ADD to practically self motivated and studious have been achieved, he doesn't know the homeschool mom Candy knew. And Jackie never got the chance to experience that part of me. Now my commitments have dropped down to me being in charge of 1 scout group and a Wednesday night class at church for kids. That's only 30 minutes and begins in late October and ends in early April. I only have 1 more class. And that 30 minutes can be as intense or as easy as I need. Shoot I don't even have to teach, we can watch movies and do crafts. Anything beneficial, and the more fun the better. And my kids go to Pioneer Club too so I might as well teach.

And honestly homeschooling my children has also been a lifelong dream. But I've done it enough to know that I don't want to be responsible for Jr High or High School. I don't want college to be the first chance my kids have to learn how to handle peers and negotiate the social mazes of school life. I want it to be Jr High and High School while they are in my home and under my care and more importantly my direct guidance. And frankly, my husband and I both loved school and Jr High is when the really fun memories began. Going to the sporting events, the dances, hanging out with friends, really developing my own life independent of my parents. That truly begins in earnest around Jr High. And I wouldn't want to take that away from my kids for all the tea in China. For me Jr High and High School were seriously a blast! My husband too. Wish I would have studied more than skin care and the latest fashions, but perhaps I can help my kids find a better balance.

So those are the reasons I am motivated to consider the possibility, let the thinking process begin.

First of all I have 3 home projects that would have to be completed before I would consider it. And they are HUGE. Because these 3 home projects would improve the quality of all our lives and Steve Sr and Candy are worth it too. These 3 projects are deal breakers actually, and I commit that to my husband and to Candy. I wouldn't have time to focus on these and be the creative homeschool mom I'm dreaming of for the kids, and if I wasn't going to give it my best energy and creativity they should be in school.

The living room, dining room, kitchen, hallway and both bathrooms desperately need a paint job. It's been years for the most recently painted room and prior to marriage for 2 of the aforementioned rooms. Going on 14 years.

The office is literally filled with stuff I don't know what to do with. It's our "extra room" in a way. Our garage/attic/basement all-in-one. Once and for all I need to organize it to a level where it works as a functional space in our house. We have a second computer in there that needs to be utilized by the kids for study and play. A computer that if hacked by some crazy virus, we really don't care. That's what the kids need as they are getting older and want to be on the computer more.

And then Candy and Jackie's room needs an IKEA style make-over. I've seen small rooms at the IKEA showroom look so gorgeous and functional...and with the girls sharing a room as Jackie embarks upon the 'tween years...that's what they need. Something more grown up for both of them with ample attractive storage space. Actually, I'm waiting on Jackie's hamster to die (dwarf hamster, life expectancy 1-2 years and it'll be 2 years in August so I'm hopeful LOL!) so I can get rid of the dresser it needs to live on and all the hamster accoutrement we've acquired in the past year.

So those three projects are prerequisites.

Next I'm thinking about exactly what I want to accomplish by homeschooling.

First of all next school year I am wanting to take more vacation time than the school allows. This is the last year we are able to go on a Disney cruise where my son can participate in the kids club. He literally ages out after this year. Then I want to go on a Disney vaca with my husband's side of the family. It was such a blast with my own side, I already know how much my kids would love it. And they are aging out of the magical child enjoyment stage of Disney. There's nothing like Walt Disney World as a child. It will never be the same for them again once they grow out of it and I want to do it one last time while they are still young enough to enjoy it in that way.

The school has a very liberal sick day/vacation policy. But making up those days is really hard as they get older. My son doesn't even want to miss if he doesn't have to because it's too hard to catch up he feels. So that knocks out my keep-them-in-school-and-utilize-the-vacation-day-policy theory. Early grades, no sweat. But they are not in the early grades any longer.

I want to take time to really explore all the children's museums there are to enjoy within a 2 hour radius of the city one last time during childhood. Weekends are crowded and their time is limited by scouts and some seasons sports. If we have a Saturday with no commitments (and they are rare) I don't want to fill it and feel rushed. We haven't even been to the Cincinnati Zoo in 2 years! There are so many cool places to go to by day trip standards around here, and I want to go do them! And my husband has a day off thru the week every single week, we could beat the crowds and go do it all! Even Candy would enjoy some of the places I want to go.

Then academically there are some things we simply do not have time for with public school commitments, things that if I had 1 or 2 solid years to work on them, they'd be well on their way.

Typing for example. I know how to teach them how to type, but there is no time.

Grammar. They don't get good old fashioned grammar at their age in school, and I want them to have a really strong foundation in the written word. Even Steve's teacher marveled at his grammar skills acknowledging that it's not really an emphasis at their age locally.

Spelling. Jackie's spelling words are so simple for her I don't even look at them. Steve doesn't even have spelling tests. I know in this age of computers things are different. But I want my children to have a better command of the English language. I'd like to do with them what I did with Candy. Use the Dolch Sigh Words, the 1,200 most frequently used words in writing. And they'd only practice the words they do not know. If they know grammar well, learning foreign languages is so much easier.

Which brings me to French. I know I should teach them Spanish, but I don't know Spanish. And though I personally am not fluent in French by any stretch it came so easily to me in high school and college that I know with the slightest effort I could teach them. And once they learned 1 romance language, picking up others (including Spanish) would be so much simpler. We could have our own secret code language to speak! Nobody speaks French around here! I would be willing to explore Spanish with them once I had the experience of teaching them a language I'm comfortable teaching them under my belt too. And we could take a road trip to Quebec City, Canada for Spring Break! That's only a little over an hour longer to drive than Walt Disney World and we could see sites along the way. And for that...we'd need more time than spring break allows. That's only if I homeschool for 2 years though, they wouldn't know enough French to make the trip worthwhile in 1 year's time.

Piano. Since going back to school this year I've had to drop piano. There simply was no place to work it in. Jackie being in school never did really have time to work on it with her normal extracurriculars but Steve really showed musical talent. Now truthfully he could do it with basketball over, and I need to consider that. But I want them to have at least a good foundation in piano. I've used my musical knowledge a lot in my adult life. And piano is fabulous brain exercise. That and reading are 2 keys to rewiring Steve's brain I do believe.

Science. I love science and it's so fun to explore! I would love to work on elaborate monthly science experiments with them. Beyond dying carnations. Maybe even sign them up for a science lab homeschool class at these schools they have for homeschoolers where you can take just one class. There's a school where my friend takes her daughter for just such a class and she also takes a broadway class too and performs twice a year!

Christianity and comparative religion studies. I don't want my children to be Christians because I am a Christian. I want them to develop their own spirituality and know what they believe. I want to help them understand their neighbor. This country is a fantastic melting pot. And understanding the beliefs and customs of other cultures would help them be able to handle themselves appropriately and make them stronger in their own beliefs. Know what they believe and why and how that differs from other parts of the country and the world and how that all ties into history and politics. Maybe that's overreaching, but we could scratch the surface, on a kid level.

American History and politics. This is something they study in school of course, but not enough. But we have a magnificent country to be proud of and I want them to really understand where we came from and the importance of being a part of where we are going as a nation.

And I could document these two years of our experiences thru pictures and video clips and make them books and a slideshow to remember this time by. This experience would last a lifetime.

And there is just no way to supplement these subjects in after school studies. I've tried. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm not organized enough to pull it off and other moms are. But school projects, homework, extracurriculars and life get in the way.

So I'm merely thinking. And dreaming. And I did buy the paint.

It's starting...

2010-03-22T17:05:00.000-04:00

"Mom, the girls in 4th grade are always laughing, even if I say something that isn't funny. Do they take laughing gas in the morning before they come to school or something?" Well let's see son...how exactly to explain the humor...

Spring Cleaning!

2010-03-12T08:31:00.003-05:00

Well it's that time of year again...I absolutely LOVE it when the windows can be opened and the whole house aired out. Especially when I can open windows on the opposite side of the house and get a good cross-breeze going.

Today I'm suffering from a slight cold so everything's going to be a bit more annoying to do. Dayquil here I come.

This weekend:

* List 5 auctions of Jackie's clothing and 3 of Steve's on Ebay
* List 2 toy auctions
* Spend 3 hours cleaning in the office
* Wash, dry, put away 4 loads of laundry
* Get all the ironing caught up
* Wash, dry & store heavy winter coats plus the hats, gloves, etc
* Buy Jackie mini dogs for her Iditarod gameboard (school project)
* Meal plan for next week's dinners

If I can get all that done on top of all the commitments I have this weekend (every single day) I'll be doing great.

Parenting With The Eagle

2010-03-09T08:55:00.004-05:00

Well I know from the brain science junk I read that the best bet to helping a child transition from pre-teen to adult unscathed is to force their mind to stay on a forward motion track. The teenage brain literally goes through a sort of midlife crisis where a thinning down takes place and new paths are created that lay the path to adulthood. Unfortunately the brain draws mainly from the areas that control impulsivity and emotion rather than logic and reason at this time. So when teens act crazy sometimes, it's literal. Or sadly for them, they feel crazy and they don't understand why so they behave erratically because their feelings are so euphoric or possibly depressed to the point of wondering why bother with it all?

There is something that can be done...force their brains to stay on the logic and reason track. I did it when I was a kid, I might have been crazy or obnoxious but I was goal oriented and motivated. Mainly towards the latest skin care techniques or dance moves rather than academics and college, but still I was focussed. The church I grew up in had an extensive goal setting plan for girls and they utilized the Boy Scouts of America for boys and it worked. And as a result? I really was never tempted to do most of the things that can get teens tragically into trouble (promiscuity, experimenting with drugs, you know the stuff.) I probably didn't have as much fun as I should have, there is a balance and my kids will learn it but I stayed out of trouble and never rebelled.

For my son, I believe Boy Scouts is going to be that parenting tool that helps me keep him on the path of forward thinking, goal oriented, logic and reason dominated behaviors. I'm determined.

Actually scouts is not a choice for my son. It's not merely an option like football or soccer. I don't care about camping or knot tying. I care about learning to set and achieve goals. I care about him seeing a long list of time consuming tasks to meet rank requirements and learning the invaluable skill of managing his time to achieve them all in a reasonable amount of time. I want him to learn to see a huge goal and automatically calculate the little baby steps it takes to realize that goal. That nothing looks impossible to him because he knows how to break it down.

The people in this world who are dissatisfied with their lives generally spend a lot of time saying "I could never do that." Of course they could! And I want my children to recognize every goal ever achieved started with a dream and a break-down of that dream into little baby steps that are manageable.

This will keep him on the path of logic and reason through high school. And Boy Scouts doesn't have to be a burden to athletes either. It's all about personal responsibility. You don't need to attend a meeting to know what the requirements are for any given rank. You attend all the meetings you can to get information for participation in the troop, and if you can't attend a meeting, well regardless you have your book and your plan and you work that plan. And can you imagine training a TEENAGER to have that level of responsibility? Their brains will be hardwiring their lives for achievement.

I think scouting is one of the best parenting tools out there. Any form of scouting. Girl Scouts, American Heritage Girls, Venturing Scouts, Boy Scouts, I don't know anything about Campfire USA but it looks good too. Just something that meets your needs. In my home I love Boy Scouts and American Heritage Girls. American Heritage Girls badge book is written like the homeschool trivium approach and that speaks to my homeschooling heart. Boy Scouts does this too though not so obvious to a non-homeschooling parent. For example take the Photography Badge (AHG). The requirements for the badge are written in 3 stages, easy level for 1st-3rd graders, medium level for 4th-6th graders and really challenging for Jr High, high school. So if Jackie earns Photography on all 3 levels she will be really experienced with photography as a hobby or potential career option before she's even out of high school because she will have explored it on 3 levels over the course of growing up. In Boy Scouts you go over certain skills again and again and again at each level. There's no way to get out of Boy Scouts without a solid foundation in Citizenship, First Aide, etc. So same thing. I like that.

And by easy on the 1st-3rd grade level I don't mean without challenge. As a third grader she understands and has literally used a camera to demonstrate the knowledge of basic operation techniques on a camera, following rules of photography such as leading line, trick photography and rule of thirds, parts of a camera, and we had to visit a photo processing business to see how the process goes from putting the memory card into the machine and choosing your options to what goes on during the printing process. This is the EASY level. Plus we had to view and talk about good and bad examples of photography. Camera rules, shadows, backgrounds, etc. That's "easy". LOL

So scouting in my house isn't an option. I can't always guarantee we'll make it to every meeting and every campout, but not doing so won't mean we will quit scouting. Parents need something to use to train their kids to think. If they don't follow a well-written program where their kids not only learn goal setting skills but have fun with friends...are they seriously going to go to the effort at home to create challenging experiences for their kids at home to teach them the power of time management, goal setting and the like? Doubtful. Hopefully, but doubtful. School and sports will take over. And in the mean time my children are going to have a wall of metals, ribbons, pins and plaques as tangible proof of achievement and accomplishment in their young lives.

I just don't see it as an option, frankly I am not that good a mom to do this without scouting. It can be done, but not by me. Fortunately, I have scouting. Military after high school would do it. We're on that path too. :)

And my son is so unbelievably proud of receiving Arrow of Light it's amazing! LOL

These Kids of Mine Are God's First

2010-01-10T13:45:00.002-05:00

You know I struggle with the right ways to teach my kids the values and morals I want them to have. Well struggle isn't really the right word, I fret about how to get them to internalize the importance of what I'm teaching them so that it becomes simply a part of who they are. Habit. Effortless.

Especially when what I want them to learn and value isn't something I've personally managed to come to terms with myself. So my living example is NOT what I want them to follow. I want them to have a better life than I have. And I have a great life. But I want some of my struggles to be some of their strengths.

I don't mean to worry about it. Or lecture them. But sometimes God does things that remind me who the parent really is here and I really do appreciate it. It's like a weight off my shoulders.

I've been worried lately about my son understanding why he needs to pursue everything he chooses to do with determination and a willingness to commit to seeing it through to the best of his ability.

For example he enjoys playing basketball. But he doesn't want to go out on the driveway and put in the time to the hoop. He feels he's "good enough" (he's average at best) and is satisfied with his performance. He enjoys the game and doesn't want to work hard to get better because he's happy with his level of success. That drives me batty! How in the world did he get the internal dialogue going the mediocrity is just fine?!!! Where did that come from and how do I extract that from his thought process???? I don't care what his personal best is, I've never said he had to BE the best on the team, but I want him to play HIS personal best and I don't think that's a place you "arrive" at, I think that's a process. A never-ending-I-can-always-do-better process.

2 things have happened this weekend that have let me know that God is in charge and He's all over this one. Yesterday at lunch Steve reminded me he wants to be baptized in the spring. Last night he and I watched one of my favorite movies together, The Last Samurai. Today on the way home from church Steve asked if he could watch The Passion of the Christ. Now how these incidents are related and the epiphany I got from God about them....

The comments about baptism and watching The Passion are surprising coming from a child. Especially a boy I think, they aren't typically the ones that seem interested in pursuing things of a spiritual nature.

The movie The Last Samurai is everything I want my son to internalize. Everything. The integrity, the dedication to skill, the determination to be one's personal best, the willingness to sacrifice anything including one's own life for honor and what is right...I could just go on and on. This is a mom's dream movie to watch with her preadolescent son! And watch it several more times with him I will, I'm getting the copy out of the movie case and putting it in his room, I want him to GET IT. I need to find about 5 or 6 more titles just like it too. Something where I'm not lecturing, something entertaining where he's being inspired to become the very things I feebly try to instill in him. Or so it seems.

This is where my epiphany came in. I do worry about these things. I can do a million things very well. I'm very gifted and talented and I thank God for it. But I haven't truly mastered anything. Is it me? Is he learning mediocrity, or rather lack of dedication to perfecting a craft or skill at my own feet? I'm very good at Photography...better than many pros but nowhere near others and I don't even compare to the likes of those who work in the industry, the photographers constantly filling the pages of high fashion magazines or the like. I'm pretty good at cake decorating, though I'm learning all the time. Many's the wedding where I know I could have baked/decorated circles around the cake on display. I'm told I have a gift for writing, well I know that to be true I tested out of it in college so I have paper proof that writing is something I do well, though not professional level well.

Hearing my son remind me that he wants to be baptized, and this came COMPLETELY out of the blue. In front of a friend in fact during lunch. Then thinking about the possibility of using movies/entertainment as an opportunity for my son to see what I mean in a creative and out-of-the-box kinda way. Then him asking me out of the blue today on the way home from church if he could watch The Passion of the Christ. Where does this kid get these spiritual inclinations???? I'm not that good by a long shot!

Then it hit. Um, duh. He's God's kid first. And God is all over this one. If I am a child of God, then these children I bore are not "also" God's children. They ARE His progeny, not mine. I'm just a vessel. Which means that though I like to think of myself as in control and responsible and any other words I can string in a list of words that mean mine to take care of not His or anyone else's, the fact is I am completely wrong! And thank goodness for that! Because how could I, who am such a mess myself, possibly have a hope of raising children who could become all I dream for them to be? I couldn't! I am not who I want them to be and that is the best I can do! And it's not good enough and I struggle with that.

But it's not me at all. And God will take His children and mold of their lives what He wants them to be in SPITE of me. I don't have to fear. I just need to do the best I can do because my impact is important for sure, but I am not the most important thing in their world and the sooner I internalize that the happier a [flawed] mother I will be. I love them with all my heart but I don't even have the mental capacity to love them the way THE Father loves them. And that's good to know. Someone with THAT kind of power pulling for my kids is like money in the bank.

Now. Gotta make a movie list of all the movies that can help my son SEE what I'm talking about with regards to drive and determination. Biographies even. Wonder if biographies to read would interest him...and perhaps there is some talent of mine he needs to see me take to perfection. I'm quite satisfied with all my skills, but perhaps seeing me work on something they think I'm already good at will give them a clearer picture as to what I mean about continuing to work when you're already good. They think I'm good, but do I have rock star potential in anything? Better ask God before I pick the wrong rabbit hole to go down...

Cha-Ching!

2009-12-19T00:46:00.002-05:00

Well my husband is definitely a creature of habit. He's chopping away at that to-do list with a vengeance! LOL I'm going to have to always have little tasks for him to do, I'll even make him a personalized note pad for his lists for Christmas ROFL!!!

And I noticed several new cans of Doubleshots in the fridge. Whatever it takes to get the job done I say...

Oh and props for me, I lost 2 more pounds this week! This is going to work for me I know it...tackling the cravings rather than dieting. Who can live life on a diet? But if you can figure out how to sit down in front of real good food and not eat until you pop...that is the secret to life. And I've all but kicked the night-time eating habit all together. Still taking my honey/lemon combo late afternoon but haven't been bothering with the almonds. Need to do that again to help me not be starving when dinnertime comes. But tonight I went out to dinner and didn't want anything sweet and it's 1:00am and I don't have any desire to eat although I ate at 6:00pm.

My Husband, "To-Do" List Addict

2009-12-18T10:38:00.004-05:00

My husband is a "to-do" list addict. He keeps a running list in his Blackberry that is 3 (Blackberry sized) pages long and every day he organizes and moves the items on the list to the next day and checks them off and so forth. Having things on that list that aren't complete is slightly like someone running nails down a chalkboard to him, it grates his nerves until it's over.

So I'm thinking to myself, let's see if it's the "to-do" list that gets him or is it that those tasks are work related and he just doesn't feel satisfied with a hard day's work until a lot of items are checked off. I know I cleaned off my refrigerator, cleaned out the lower half of my laundry room (items stacked on the floor in containers and whatnot) and cleaned off my husband's desk yesterday and the mental clarity I'm enjoying from the empty space makes me question anybody's sanity in thinking container organizing is the way to go. Get rid of it is the way to go.

So here's his to-do list and I'll report back as to how he fares. I'll consider it a success if he completes this list in 2 days. LOL!

1. Gift wrap the front sides of the picture frames in the kids' bathroom and put a bow on them for decoration

2. Take everything off the 2 shelves above the clothes bar in the laundry room, sweep the shelves off, and put the stuff back unless it needs to go

3. Clean off the front porch, getting rid of one of the cat houses and taking the outdoor games to storage

3.5. On your way to storage drop off some of my ribbon to mom's house, just give her the box I've prepared

4. Take the games in the entryway to Good Will

5. Clean out the fireplace, sweep off the hearth and bring in firewood

6. Take kids to sit on Santa's lap

7. Buy a Yankee Candle Sparkling Pine candle, no substitutions, go on a quest if you have to, big jar

8. Pick up birthday cake

9. Straighten back deck

10. Go to Michael's and buy 5 more ornament frames

Unbelievable! I've lost 8 pounds!!!

2009-12-10T08:51:00.004-05:00

I had a very frustrating experience at the doctor yesterday. I struggle with weight, I always have, even when I was thin I struggled with unbelievable cravings. Well I was recently talking with a cousin who has an uncontrollable thyroid problem and her metabolism is half what it should be and won't be budged. In fact listening to her talk about her symptoms felt somewhat like reading a diary. But for the first time in my life I felt hope! If my problem is body chemistry, well that's something that through research and trial and error I can correct!!!

You see I know I'm not lazy, unintelligent, unmotivated or any other negative word sometimes associated with people who are overweight. In fact I'm super busy with volunteerism, I taught myself photography, html for writing websites, cake decorating and all sorts of things. And motivation...wow that's not something I'm lacking. I've planned events for large crowds (250 people largest to date) that went off without a hitch and I travel across the country every year alone with 3 children by car...fear and lack of motivation are not part of my psyche.

But what if my problem is cellular? What if there is something out of whack with my body chemistry? My doctor went into a 5 minute rant when I brought up my cousin's thyroid problems. I need to cut calories, eat more protein and exercise. Try the South Beach Diet or Weight Watchers. That's all I need, there is no easy way around. She didn't even ASK me what I do eat. Or what my physical activity level is. She sees that in the past year I've gained 10 pounds and there wasn't even 1 question as to changes in my lifestyle or eating habits that could account for this. (there are no changes) No new tests. When it's time to draw blood work again she'll recheck my thyroid. Perhaps her frustration was towards herself. I see her gaining weight every year when I go in. I know this is a personal struggle for her. She's a doctor telling me what to do for my weight and she's gaining weight on a yearly basis. Doesn't she want to really figure out what's going on with her body chemistry too?

Here's what I've tried that has not worked for me: calorie restricting, exercise (a normal amount, I'm sure if I exercised 2 hours a day I'd be thin), Atkins, and just moderate low carb. I can't claim to trying every diet on the market. And my daughters have never heard me use the word "diet". Actually I'm quite confidant within myself so my daughters cannot possibly have negative self esteems or pick apart their bodies based on my example. And I don't allow my children to focus on one feature in particular. Nobody is capable of only seeing someone's nose for example. They see the nose in relation to the entire face and hair which provides a complete picture. And all the features pulled together equal beauty as God designed. Every single person on the planet is gorgeous to some. There is no one formula for beauty. I don't find Kate Moss or Hillary Swank to be appealing at all. I only find Gwyneth Paltrow to be average at best, plain at most when they catch her without make-up. Now Hillary and Gwyneth have true inner beauty which adds to the package, but most of the world finds them to be gorgeous! I have no opinion of Kate Moss, I don't know a thing about her. Ahhhh I digress. But I'm trying to instill confidence in my children that comes from within and a sure knowledge that they are beautiful to most and picking apart features is wasted emotional effort. So back to my doctor...

Gimme a break. Every single women's magazine out there and most websites you might visit admit the basic blood test check for thyroid fails most of the time. It doesn't tell the whole story. And low normal could in fact be as bad for some individuals as way below normal for others depending on body chemistry. Mine was low normal on the test a year ago and the complications that have arisen from low thyroid function + natural insulin resistance due to heredity + busy stressful life + lack of sleep etc have created the perfect storm in my system.

So I've started reading. What is hypothyroidism? How can you tell if that's the problem? What's insulin resistance? I surely have those symptoms. What can I do naturally? And I've hit on a few things that are working amazingly, so here they are for you to enjoy. The reasons why these things work so well are too lengthy to discuss, but do a google search and you can read all about it just like I did.

1. I take 2 tablespoons of raw unpasteurized not heated honey before bedtime

2. I take 2 1000 mg cinnamon capsules and 1 tablespoon of honey upon rising and 30 minutes prior to eating anything

3. I drink half of my body weight in ounces of water each day

4. I take a serving of Metamucil (capsules) before each large meal up to 3 times a day

5. At about 2:30 pm I have a tablespoon of honey mixed with the juice of fresh lemon in a cup of room temp water

6. At about 4:30pm I have a handful of raw almonds and a green tea extract pill for late day energy boost (FABULOUS!)

Now I haven't been diligent with all of those things, yesterday was the first day I did each of them. And you have to be careful about the cinnamon, I've done some reading and certain kinds of cinnamon can harm the liver, though not in this dosage I don't believe. I'm doing more reading about that. The Metamucil capsules are amazing. If you take them 30 minutes prior to a meal (I'm never that well planned) the psyllium husk and water form a gelatinous mass that slows down your digestive process forcing a sort of natural time release of sugar into your bloodstream and it also whisks away some of the sugar through the bowels. The swelling of the fiber also makes you feel incredibly full. Taking this and eating one of those 300 calorie microwave meals last night for dinner...after about 30 minutes I felt STUFFED. Plus it's great for your digestive tract, cholesterol, all sorts of things. The honey cuts cravings and does all sorts of wonderful things. Cinnamon is amazing. Google "honey and weight loss" "cinnamon and honey" "cinnamon and honey weight loss" "fiber and sugar" etc. You'll be amazed.

And on no caffeine I feel like a million bucks. So this is going to work and other than remembering to take all that (and that's just about forming new habits) I haven't "dieted" or "cut calories" or felt restricted in any way. And my cravings are reduced to nothing so that of course means less food overall and the carbs from the honey are nothing compared to the carbs I'm not eating in my diet, it's a win-win. Plus honey behaves differently in your body than regular sugar or carby foods, and it's high in nutrients. Read about it.

Hope it helps!

Really Cool Quote

2009-12-09T15:53:00.003-05:00

I read this on one of my FaceBook friends info page and thought it was great!

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy.
The chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation),
there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills
countless ideas and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would
never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents
and meetings and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

Begin it now."

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Procrastination

2009-12-08T08:49:00.004-05:00

Ok I'm not a full-out procrastinator in the broad sense of the word. Last year when my Girl Scouts were graduating I spent 8 months pulling together a photo book for them and creating a slide-show. Little bit here and there. With no stress at all they were in early enough to have them all sign them to each other year-book style. I started planning my daughter's graduation party probably in earnest 6 months in advance and little details like music and fresh flowers in the guest bathroom were not overlooked. I even had a first aid station outside near the party. It's December 8th and Christmas is either fully bought (and partially wrapped thanks to my husband) or I know what I'm doing so there's no stress and I'm enjoying the holiday.

And I'm so heavily committed to volunteerism through scouts and church that I have to stay organized and on top of things or I'd lose my mind and the programs would fall short which would be unfortunate because all 3 organizations rock. Instead my Cub Scouts are earning Arrow of Light (like Eagle Scout for Cub Scouts) 3 months in advance and we're actually working on doing all 20 badges just to keep motivated with goals!!! Of my 7 boys I think 5 of them have met all Arrow of Light requirements and the ones who haven't have easy tasks ahead. Visit a Boy Scout troop. Participate with the Boy Scouts in an outdoor activity. Easy peasy. I actually go way above and beyond with the church group I work with on Wednesday nights. I'm in charge of 4th and 5th grade girls and I have about 30 minutes a week for lessons. I created a blog on which I put 2 worship song playlists, I write a weekly message, all sorts of things! And American Heritage Girls, well I go above and beyond for them as I do my Cub Scouts.

But at home...I fall horribly short. I'm better than I used to be but that's not saying much. I had a massive yard sale (and I mean massive) because I just haven't gotten rid of things over the last 10 years. Oh of course occasional bags to Goodwill here or there but for the most part..."I might need it someday" or "I might want to save that for keepsake" has kept my house and storage units full. So I got rid of a ton. But that's not good enough. I live in a small house and need to thin the stuff down even more.

These are the kinds of things I procrastinate. So I'm going to try to pick 10 things at a time (some small) to do that I don't feel like doing that need to be done. If I hit the mark 3 times a week that is still 30 things done that I ordinarily would have avoided until I HAD to get to it...so that's still good. My living room is virtually empty. My dining room is 50% reduced from before but my goal is to get rid of the bookshelf entirely and only have a hutch and curio cabinet in there as furniture. I actually need decorating help in there, I'll get my sister-in-law to help me, she's great at that. The kids rooms are greatly reduced. I just need to keep it going.

1. Fill 1 whole garbage can with stuff out of my house that needs to go to trash DONE

2. Take some larger items to the dumpster DONE

3. Spend 30 minutes cleaning the office

4. Spend 15 minutes cleaning the laundry room & put the water softener salt in the laundry room

5. Spend 30 minutes sorting through the discard pile my son created from his room. It's supposed to go to Goodwill but some of it might simply be trash FINISHED COMPLETELY

6. Spend 30 minutes deep cleaning my room

7. Go through bookshelf in the dining room again and fill a box (again) with items to go to Goodwill. (I've emptied this bookshelf several times...and the kids keep adding books to it.)

8. Spend 15 minutes thinning down the belongings in my son's room.

9. Take Thomas the Train to storage. DONE

10. Cut the tees that are going to be part of a quilt I'm making Candy for Christmas (I'm making her a soft quilt from all her uniform shirts at Grant Vocational School.)

Ok. That list is satisfying. If I get it done I will be happy with myself. Now I'm going to go print it and hang it on my fridge. This list has only been created for about an hour and 2 things that were annoying are done. I need to keep going.

My Personally Compiled List of Advent Passages

2009-12-03T14:05:00.004-05:00

I started reading the Advent passages I found on a website, there are literally thousands of advent scriptures out there arranged by various themes. But when I was reading them to my children they didn't strike me as the way I personally want to present the passages this month to my kids, so I created my own.

The first 9 days of Advent we read passages in the Old Testament that talk about the life and purpose of Jesus in prophetic ways. The second 9 days we read the corresponding New Testament passages that show prophecy fulfillment. The last week of Advent we'll read passages from the Gospels that tell the same story so we can appreciate the different perspective on key points in the life of Jesus. Then on Christmas Day my husband always reads about the birth of Christ in Luke 2, the most descriptive author on this subject in the New Testament. There's no right or wrong on this, anything you read is great. Make your own with your own themes!

As you can see I'm not finished filling this chart out, but I will be within a couple days. :)

WEEK 1 THEME: Prophesies in the Old Testament
1. Micah 5:2 Born in Bethlehem
2. Psalms 72:8-14 He'll be worshipped by shepherds and honored by kings
3. Isaiah 40:3-5 Preceded by a forerunner
4. Psalms 2:7 Declared the son of God
5. Isaiah 42:1 Will minister to the Gentiles
6. Isaiah 53:12 Interceded for the transgressors

WEEK 2 THEME: More OT Prophesies and Beginning NT Fulfillment
1. Genesis 3:15 Jesus came to destroy sin
2. Isaiah 53:3 Rejected by his own people
3. NEED ONE MORE PROPHESY PASSAGE
4. Matthew 2:1 Born in Bethlehem
5. Matthew 2:1-11 He'll be worshipped by shepherds and honored by kings
6. Matthew 3:1-3 Preceded by a forerunner

WEEK 3 THEME: Continuing NT Prophesy Fulfillment
1. Romans 1:4 Declared the son of God
2. Matthew 12:15-21 Will minister to the Gentiles
3. Luke 23:32-34 Interceded for the transgressors
4. Galatians 4:4, 1 John 3:8 Jesus came to destroy sin
5. Mark 6:3, John 1:11 Luke 9:58 Rejected by his own people
6. NEED ONE MORE FULFILLMENT PASSAGE

WEEK 4 THEME: Gospel Harmony
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

December 25th: Birth Luke 2:

Devotionals All Year Long

2009-12-02T13:18:00.003-05:00

I set up an Advent for my family, we do this every year and the kids love it. We light a candle every night as we read a passage in the Bible. These are themed towards Christmas, this year for example I found a great set of scripture passages that teach us about waiting for the coming Messiah in the first week, preparing for Him in the second, how He is the light in the darkness the third week and finally the last week's theme is about His birth.

I think I want to continue that the rest of the year. I'm not going to reinvent the wheel, I know there are probably a ton of websites out there with nightly devotionals for families. And we might not do this nightly (depending on our night) but we can. At least weekly as part of family night. Maybe that should be how we begin family night, a weekly devotional. That would be 52 mini lessons on the gospel we teach our family. I'm going to put my mind to this and we're going to do this. That's a worthy family goal for 2010.

And family meetings too, we need to set up family meetings where we discuss chores and issues in the family and make plans together as a family. That could be once a month on family night. That night could be family game night since we wouldn't have time for a movie, the kids love to sit in the living room with treats and watch movies on family night. And that's easy to do every week and takes almost no preparation, in our busy lives that's something. But planning out 52 weekly devotionals would only be time consuming once, when they are all planned out, then we can reuse them every year. They don't need to be unique to be memorable.

But not doing devotionals as a family...I don't want my children to grow up thinking the place they learned the most about God wasn't in the home.

And actually I could take pictures and put our devotionals and personal pictures in a Snapfish book each of the kids could have to take to their own families. That would rock.

Celebrating 13 Years of Wedded Bliss

2009-11-30T11:32:00.008-05:00

I did not forget this post! I'm doing these things for the 12 Days of Christmas for him....but it'll be the 13 days of Christmas

Well most days anyways. LOL I've been married now for 13 years. I think I want to do something special for my husband every day for the next 13 days. Above and beyond what I would normally do. Here's my list, I'll fill it in as good ideas come...

12/16 Ok doing something daily on my hectic schedule is ridiculous. But I can do 13 things and I am, I've written him a letter and I'm recording the things as I do them. I'm doing a total of 13 things and I'll write them down here when they've been achieved:

1. Cleaned and organized office desk and corkboard for 30 minutes to create an inviting study space.

Why Let The Holidays Get You Down?

2009-11-25T19:05:00.002-05:00

Jacqueline and her American Heritage Girl friends were painting windows for a town wide Christmas celebration coming in a week when I overheard a conversation between a few of the dining customers.

One of the ladies was complaining that she really doesn't like the holidays very much. Her kids can't get back to Ohio to see her and she really doesn't have anything to do, it makes her sad.

You know, how you approach the holidays is all about...well...how you approach the holidays! Who says you have to be surrounded by family to celebrate the season of giving and Christ's birth???? She would have mentioned if she didn't AGREE with Christmas as a theme, her complaint was lack of family and special things to do.

You know when I lived in Los Angeles I too had absolutely no family surrounding me. And I was too poor to make the journey home to Ohio. That didn't stop me from filling my stocking. I relished the time off from work. On Christmas morning I put beautiful music in my car and drove to the ocean and just sat on the beach watching the waves crashing along the shoreline. It was one of the best Christmases of my life!

I do hope that if you are someone reading this blog and you too are alone during the holidays, YOU KNOW YOU ARE WORTH IT! Buy a little tree for your dining room table and hang a stocking on the wall. Fill it on Christmas Eve and go find a church with a midnight candlelight service somewhere. Wake up and watch the parade, make yourself some pancakes. Go find a soup kitchen to serve in. Find a poor family to adopt, all churches can direct you where to go to serve this season. Get your friends to go see the new Christmas movie. Go by yourself if you don't have friends around you for whatever reason!

When I was young and single (this was when I lived in LA) I borrowed one of my friend's children for the day and I took him out shopping to a candy store and we bought all kinds of candy and we came back to my apartment and baked a gingerbread house. I took pictures the whole time and later gave him a little photo album. I had a blast and so did he! If I had means it would have been fun to play Secret Santa to a family in need too.

Making the holidays special is all about traditions, create some for yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT and you'll find that even alone, the holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year!

God Blew Me A Kiss Today

2009-10-30T13:25:00.010-04:00

You know, God blew me a kiss today and I just wanted to blog about it for a second because it's the sweet little things that add up to become something great.

Ok so I have been without my car for 3 weeks now. 2 weeks because something went wrong with it so I stopped driving it and reverted back to my old car (1999 Caravan...bought it new so yes, it is going on 11 years old!!!) until we had time to get it to Ford and this week because Ford had it. Well they had it for 4 days.

So I'm driving and feeling like I'm in the lap of luxury with my fabulous leather seats, a ride that feels so smooth I could be floating and everything working and in it's right place. My dash looks virtually new, not a scratch or dent in view. I don't have an exotic or ridiculously pricey car, but it exceeds the expectations of anything I ever thought I'd own. And I never forget to be thankful.

So I was driving down the road and I was listening to Christian music and I had one of those experiences that remind me WHY I listen to Christian music rather than all the other stuff I love when I'm in the car. (I listen to everything from Big Band to Hard Rock, but in the car it's strictly Christian so I can help my kids acquire a taste, even my non-spiritual 18 year old sings along THAT'S worth a lot to me).

While daydreaming I always end up singing along or thinking the words in my mind or sort of thinking about the song while pondering something else. Who doesn't? We've all be stuck on songs all day long we heard in the car in the morning or whatever.

So anyhoo when the words to the songs that get stuck in your mind are PRAISE songs, of course, like envisioning Jack and Diane in the backseat of a car comes without effort, so does pondering what it will be like, when I walk by His side. I can only imagine what my eyes will see, when His face, is before me. Did you automatically go to the tune in your mind? If you know the song at all you can't help it. You might even have felt that tightening in your chest you get when you sing that song and are really thinking about what that will be like. It's just an automatic response.

So today that happened to me as I was thanking God, he kissed me back in a way that is only for me. See I know God cares about the little things. Even the little things that someone else might not think matters, if they matter to you, they matter to God. It's a silly little thing I wanted, really. It wouldn't have even occurred to me to pray about it actually. And I didn't have a blow-your-hair-back miracle, but let's face it if you need one of those to feel God's love...{{{shuddering}}}...wow. I was listening to Christian music, thinking about the words distractedly even, not concentrating. Thinking how great it is to be in my car again, how blessed I am to have a nice car since I live so much of my life in it. And of course the words of various Christian songs are weaving themselves in and out of my own grateful thoughts, and mundane ones as well, and a quick vision came to me. Not like Elijah seeing into heaven, it was the answer to a crafting question I was perplexed by.

I'm going to Disney in January with husband's whole family. And my niece wanted a tutu dress she saw and I'd love to make her one. I know my own daughter loves it when I am the one to make her things rather than me buy them. And I saw a spectacular 3 tiered tutu skirt on a website last night and I just couldn't figure out how in the world they did that! Then I saw some gorgeous ones with extra decorative ribbons attached and whatnot. I've only been thinking about a tutu skirt for 1 night mind you. But I went to Hobby Lobby and wouldn't you know it, the tulle I needed was half off today!!! And all the ribbons were too!!! I didn't necessarily see the hand of God yet, now of course I do.

So now I'm all ready to make my tutu skirts, except of course I don't know how. Small detail. I bought some tulle for my upcoming trip to Chicago, stuff for an Animal Kingdom themed tutu skirt, of course Minnie...even a Christmas one for Jackie's Christmas outfit that she'll wear to The Nutcracker and church. But now I had to figure out the best way to do it and could I get the tiered look????

Believe it or not, in the midst of singing and thanking God...literally it came to me in a flash of insight (that I know is one way God speaks to me)!!!! I saw myself at my machine and I knew exactly what to do to get it all just right, perfectly tiered and all. Wow!!!!!! I am no sewing/crafting genius let me assure you.

Now see THAT'S the kind of thing I never pray about but God answers anyway. Those kinds of answers, to unuttered prayers, the ones NOBODY knows I was even pondering...that is most definitely God blowing me a kiss. And these past two weeks have been so hard I felt completely out of touch. Guess He wanted me to know He isn't.

And I thank Him for that too.

Honey and Insomnia - Cure Sleep Disorders?

2009-10-19T23:51:00.001-04:00

Honey and Insomnia - Cure Sleep Disorders?

Posted using ShareThis

Some Advice I Gave That I Need To Remember Myself

2009-10-17T05:40:00.001-04:00

The master craftsman utilizes several processes to go from rough diamond to brilliantly faceted gemstone high in value and virtually unbreakable. First they place a chisel at the point of greatest weakness to split the stone perfectly cutting away the flaws and inclusions, as much as possible. Then after grinding away the excess a painstaking process using steel cutters lubricated with oil and diamond dust helps the craftsman continue to shape and facet the gemstone playing with the angles to create beautifully reflective flat surfaces. Interestingly enough this generates considerable heat and to avoid damaging the gem in progress it is necessary to allow for cooling periods while the polishing process takes place. This provides the brilliant sparkle and beauty. It's a time consuming process and the skilled craftsman knows not to rush the process or risk ruining the diamond. Be patient and wait for the craftsman to finish the job to perfection. Enjoy the brilliance, ignore slight inclusions, and VOILA! A masterpiece.

Yard Sale Feels Great

2009-10-16T23:45:00.002-04:00

Who knew selling my stuff could feel so good? I've priced things ridiculously low so they go, and they are going. And the going feels great. But along the way I'm discovering...I really do have some good things I've afforded through the years and now others, and mostly my friends and friendly acquaintances get to enjoy them for a couple bucks!

The books. So many homeschooling books are gone. And story books for children. And cookbooks. And the clothes...wow. I've really moved the clothes out. Charging 50 cents to $3 per item, and mostly in the $1 to $2 range has moved quite a bit...and amazingly, that actually FEELS great! I love a bargain at yard sales and I'm passing along the feeling. I should have a yard sale every year.

My trip to Chicago is almost completely paid for and I have another day and another weekend to go. Hopefully Christmas will be paid for too. That's going to feel fabulous! And my son is loving it too, I've given him the cash he made for selling his pricey toys and he loves that! It's inspired him to want to open a bank account so his money can gather interest. And he's seeing that he has to be choosey about what he wants to buy. Seeing his money grow, he doesn't necessarily want to spend it on an Xbox anymore. THAT is worth something too. Seeing how hard he had to work to earn the cash has made him realize there are some things worth spending your money on and there are some things that just aren't.

I love it!

Long Week Ahead

2009-10-12T08:54:00.003-04:00

I have a long week ahead of me! I am having a massive yard sale on Thursday, Friday and Saturday of this week. Massive. We used a delivery truck to partially empty out 2 storage units and I am going to go through the house and purge every single day this week. I am being merciless on myself!

In fact I have 2 books I'm listening to while I do this. Well 3 actually. I'm relistening to Twilight and New Moon as I prepare for the New Moon movie release. And I'm listening to Peter Walsh's "It's All Too Much" and "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat". I seriously am getting rid of it all.

I need to. It's too hard to keep a house clean when there is so much stuff in it. I have a small house and we've sort of been accumulating for 13 years now, kids and all. Yes, I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff along the way, but at first I became sentimental about everything, now I'm really being hardcore about what is and what is not actually worth keeping.

And I've learned the lessons about space too. For example I had more cookbooks than I knew what to do with. In fairness to me, my husband always wanted to plan to move. I do not. I know our house is small but the smallness of the house affords us other luxuries because we are living below our means. Not that we're great with money and rich, but when you have a bigger house, you have bigger monthly bills and that's a fact. I like our bills.

So anyhoo since I am NOT going to be having a library as was planned in the next house, all the books went. My rule is, if I can get it on the internet, I cannot buy it and bring it into the house. I mean we have 160 audio books in our iTunes audio book folder and they actually get listened to. I know I've listened to all of mine, that's for sure. And usually more than once to boot.

So purge, clean and organize, that's my motto this week. We set up a ridiculous number of 8 foot tables and we have 50 feet of conduit pipe ready to be assembled into hanging racks for clothes which are going to be hung into gender and size! I don't know if we have that much clothes to sell, but we shall see. I have clothes in storage that are new with tags I meant to sell on eBay but then my kids got older and bigger and there is no time with the busy lives they lead and the fact that I am in charge of everything they do.

I simply cannot do my volunteer work and have even a part time job. And I know I'm supposed to be doing the volunteer work I do right now. I know I am meant to work with kids in some capacity or another. I'm good at it and they respond very well to me. Right now I do Cub Scouts, American Heritage Girls and Pioneer Club, the 4th and 5th grade girls at church on Wednesday nights. In February I'm done with Cub Scouts and that leaves American Heritage Girls and Pioneer Club. And that's going to be my limit.

But back to the purge. I am wanting to make money from my yard sale to go to Chicago in November to the American Girl store taking Beth, Kelsey and Jackie. It's for Kelsey's birthday.

Here's for a laugh...

2009-10-11T09:01:00.002-04:00

JK Wedding Entrance Dance - YouTube sensation!

JK Wedding Divorce Spoof - Hilarious!

The Office Spoofed It For Jim and Pam's Wedding!

ब्रेन कांफ्रेंस!

2009-10-10T12:30:00.002-04:00

Well there goes my title again...it must be my husband's laptop, I'm at his office manning a popcorn machine for a tent sale.

Anyhoo in trying to find some information about the brain development of pre-adolescents I found a fabulous conference I want to attend:

http://www.edupr.com/index.html

The on in February about learning and IQ and the one in May about attention...but May is a bad month for me. In the very least I can read some of the books written by the conference speakers but I would ABSOLUTELY love to go to San Franscisco for this conference!!!!!!!!!! Seriously there are so many classes I would love to take...

It's amazing Steve snapped back to complete normal by the next day. Now I am making him get more sleep, he's going to bed earlier and he is not allowed to stay up just because it's the weekend and he's going to read for an hour a day every day again.

I must have done something to take him from off the charts ADD to borderline gifted in 3 subjects with no attention problem in class. After I spoke to his teacher and also the principal and learned just how incredibly good he's doing...I know something really really worked.

He did have to read a lot. He also played the piano, did that force him to utilize the portion of the brain that affects the areas of concentration and attention? I mean, are there things you can do with your child to improve their ability to focus? Set goals? Slow down and think about consequences? If you KNEW that reading for 30 minutes every single night would prevent serious mistakes like suicide, risky sex, drinking and driving, dabbling in drugs or whatever else really hardcore behaviors with potential lifetime ramifications...if reading and/or piano lessons helped your child avoid those things who wouldn't do it?

You know when I was a teen I was goal oriented. I wouldn't have touched a drug if it were put right in front of me and I knew I could try without getting caught. Partying seemed childish to me. As did promiscuity. What happened to make me that way? My husband was that way when he was a teen too.

I know I read a lot. I was in a church program that required goal setting from age 12-18 and I learned how to set and achieve goals at a very young age. I was naturally spiritual but what I'm talking about isn't God inside of me, I am talking about using the science of the brain to better equip my children for good decision making in the teen years and success in adulthood. I mean, God authors medical science too and he's given me a passion for this so he must want me to know something. We'll see. If I am meant to go to this conference we'll easily be able to afford it. I would absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to go.

वहत अ वीक!

2009-10-09T11:53:00.003-04:00

Welllll I don't know why my title is converting itself to a foreign language. If I typed something offensive, I apologize. LOL

This week has been PARTICULARLY FUN, God has such a great sense of humor.

First of all I accidently overbooked myself. I had American Heritage Girls on Tuesday, which followed a full day of volunteering at the school book fair. Then Wednesday night we started Pioneer Club, I teach the 4th and 5th grade girls. I love it! They are at such a fun age! And God is really inspiring me too. The blog I am writing for them rocks. Then on Thursday I had to be at school at 7:30am to volunteer with COSI all day long, literally, I had a 30 minute lunch break and I was there until 2:45pm. At which point I picked up my Cub Scouts and proceeded to teach a 2 hour religion class. Then I ran through McDonald's drive thru since I didn't have time for anything other than that before cheerleading at 6:00pm. Then parent-teacher conference for Steve at 6:15pm (more about that in a minute). Then parent teacher conference for Jackie at 6:45pm. Pick up Jackie at cheerleading at 7:00. Get home and discover that Steve Jr wants to run away. I told him go for it, I'll go with him, it'll be like a campout. So he packs his bags and we're off. Well not quite, a parent at school called because she'd found Steve's good-bye note to her son in his pocket. She apologized, she'd called the school first because he was planning to leave during recess. Anyhoo so we run away (walk slow with lots of stops). We get home about an hour later, turns out running away kinda sucks and the bags are heavy. For him. :) We talk for an hour or two and he goes to bed. Warm and snug and knowing he's loved. The whole time mind you God was giving me peace, like extreme peace, like the vampire Jasper sending a wave of peace into the room, that kind of supernatural peace.

As a ray of sunshine, the teacher told me (and the principal today after she received my call and the mother's call who got the note) Steve's doing beautifully in school. Pulling him out and homeschooling for a time was exactly what he needed to do for success. He's borderline gifted in 3 subjects and his reading is on a 7th grade 3rd month level! This in spite of poor test taking, he messed up the bubbles you fill in and he didn't finish 2 whole pages of the test. Mommy's little genius.

And the principal understands this is hormonal for him. I explained last week's crying for no reason, the crying over a girl he might not date when he's 16...the earlier bedtime we've instituted, healthier snacking and Happy Camper pills from the health food store...she knows we are doing what is necessary to help him through this.

Steve ran away because he's being lazy on his school work and he gets in trouble. He's got straight B's but it's not due to effort. He's rushing and not double checking his work and making simple avoidable mistakes. We are trying to impress upon him the value of developing a good work ethic at this young age. Missing problems due to rushing and not taking the literal 30 seconds to 2 minutes it takes to double check (we've timed it)...it's not worth it! And he thought that we would be happier without him in our lives becauss then we wouldn't have to suffer through the frustration of disciplining him.

By making him pack his bags and literally experiencing running away he got to see first hand that running away wasn't what the movies made it out to be. His plan was to have a lemonade stand to make money. But of course it's almost winter, rainy, he didn't have a table, pitcher, lemonade, sign for the stand, cups for the customers or chair to sit on. Plan B was to send a video into Funniest Home Videos and win $10,000. But where is the camera? The computer to edit the video? The internet connection to email it when he's done? And how were they going to contact him when he won?

Plus I pointed out, and I think this is a great point, he's going to be 18 in 7 1/2 years. At that point he'll have a car, a job, friends to room with who could share expenses...all the things he needs to move out successfully. And in the mean time he still gets to enjoy his family and friends.

When we turned back he got to a certain point where he just couldn't walk anymore with the weight of the bags. And then only as God's perfect timing can produce, my husband pulled onto our road home from work, early for him, and asked us what the hell we were doing. LOL I got in the car but Steve wanted to walk...so we took his bags and drove home and let him be alone on our country road on a drizzly night with all the night sounds the country can provide. Howling dogs, no cars or people, wind whipping through trees, branches crackling all around...it was perfect. We could see his flashlight of course. And we walked back to meet him once we parked in our driveway.

The woman who got the note? That was a God thing too. When she called she was hesistant and uncomfortable and I calmly told her I knew why she was calling. I told her God told me there was something wrong with Steve and that I needed to probe until he told me. And I didn't get enough probing done before cheerleading but afterwards God told me to keep going until I knew I got what I needed, so of course I did and Steve spilled and you know the rest of the story. Unbelievably the woman opened up and gushed about her life telling me SHE needed to be able to hear from God. Her marriage is ruined, they are about to lose their house, she doesn't have any family at all in this state, but she can't go to where family is (if there is family left, I didn't get that clearly). Her husband has been sleeping on the couch for 3 years. The only reason she can't leave is because she can't afford it. He works 2nd shift so she has the entire burden of the children and their schooling on her shoulders and it's overwhelming. She didn't even have any money to give her son for book fair this week! So I witnessed to her about the very real power of God in my life. How he even remembers the little things. How he lifts me up when the bad things come and gives me peace that surpasses all understanding. Like with my mom's cancer. My brain knows she has cancer, but my heart feels like she's just fine. No pain, no anxiety, no stress. I told her she has to do it for herself, create a relationship with God. She needs church for companionship and an extended family. She needs to read the Bible so she begins to learn about God and so she can learn how to HEAR Him.

Tonight is one of a thousand nights where God told me I needed to get some information from someone, 99% of the time my kids, and even put the words in my mouth I needed to say to get the information I needed to get. Doesn't everybody need that? Someone to help them that is really a help? Isn't that more valueable than someone helping with laundry, kid chauffer duties or homework? I think so.

And the PEACE. To be able to hear bad news or soul crushing confessions and know IMMEDIATELY as in WHILE IT'S HAPPENING that I can handle it, that there really isn't a bigger problem to handle. Wow. The peace is worth it's weight in platinum.

So I've had quite a busy week. But it's all good. Now I get to sit here at my husband's tent sale at work and man a popcorn machine and play around on the internet. Life doesn't get much better than this.

Collecting VS Accumulating

2009-10-05T10:41:00.003-04:00

I think collecting is code for accumulating. Satan's way of making otherwise intelligent women buy too much crap for their homes. The only collections that make sense are ones you have display space for - um but then you're cleaning around it. Or like Christmas and/or seasonal but then only what you'll actually display in a season.

And collections you don't have display space for? Insanity. I don't count holiday, but having more than you actually use in a season? Insanity.

The only thing I collect right now is a tea set and I can display the entire set in a china cabinet. I even want to get rid of our movies and old CD's.

I want my house EMPTY. I want it streamlined to the point that it only takes me 3 hours to clean and that needs to include floors. It won't need to include deep cleaning, but I want to spend no more than 1/2 hour a day cleaning my house and I want it to stay clean. I'll be enlisting the help of my kids too.

That's another thing I don't do. The kids are easily at an age where they can help. I should be teaching Candy how to cook and have her cook dinners when she is here. A. She'd LOVE it, she really enjoys being in the kitchen. B. She needs more life skills and reading cookbooks and following directions would be great for her Autism and C. It would be great quality time together while she was learning. All kids need to do their own bedding that's for sure. There are other jobs the kids could easily do that would make my life easier, but I just don't have them do it!

Time for change.

To Do This Week

2009-10-05T09:08:00.005-04:00

I have so much to do this week it's ridiculous. If I don't make a list and keep myself focussed I'll lose it and I can't afford that! LOL

* Redefine my living spaces and spend 30 minutes in each room on a quick purge for yard sale

* Wash, dry and put away 2 loads of laundry each day

* Wash all the bedding in the house

* Create a photographic tutorial to help the kids learn how to do laundry so they can learn to do their own bedding

* Spend 2 hours preparing for Wednesday night

* Create a few praise and worship sets on my iPod

* Go through all of Jackie's tights and clothes for yard sale

* Go through all of the jewelry in the house for yard sale

* Empty out the bookshelf in the dining room for yard sale - Rule: If I can get the information or print worksheets on the subject from the internet...the book goes (there shouldn't be anything left! LOL)

* The bookshelf itself goes to yard sale!

* Finish editing the movies we own for yard sale

If I get all that done I'll be thrilled with my week's progress.

Go Expecting And Ye Shall Receive

2009-10-04T13:03:00.007-04:00

Well the woman's retreat was great! And I know I was meant to go too. And the girl I roomed with...I was correct in assuming she had a reason to get away. Sadly for her, last Tuesday she lost a baby, she was 7 weeks along. She already has 2 children and the baby was a surprise, but a happy surprise as most babies are.

God definitely gave me a word for her and unbeknownst to me I shared it, it was the day after our exchange that she told me why she really came when we were alone. You know losing a baby is always painful. I don't personally have the experience to draw upon in making that statement, but I am a woman, I am a mother and I have watched those I love dearly lose babies during pregnancy. A babe in the womb is a new place in a mother's heart that will always be there. It might be easier to survive the pain of the loss as compared to the loss of a living child you've nurtured and loved in physical ways, but it is still the loss of a child and all the hopes and dreams a mother hides away in her heart for that child. And that pain is valid. It always strikes me when a woman almost demeans her own pain by saying "I know it wasn't real baby yet and I already have kids but..." Yes it is!!!

The MOMENT I became pregnant my mind and heart were filled with hopes and dreams for my babies. The hopes you have for an unborn baby are as real as any hope you might have for the ones that run around the house creating chaos everywhere they go. And you feel so personally responsible for everything you do that might impact your pregnancy too. Every moment of stress you have to endure, the foods you eat, the physical activity...this mom sort of found ways to blame herself for the loss. If God cares about even a tiny sparrow that falls as the Bible said he does, then he had a plan and a purpose for this little life he created too. And that plan was fulfilled and it was time for the baby to come home.

I won't lie. Losing one of my children is a pain I hope I never have to endure. But mothers do it all the time. They survive. They continue to breathe in and out day after day and they cope.

But life can be hard. It's filled with bullying, bills, sin, pain, struggling, emotional weakness, betrayal, hardship, job loss, bad grades, overindulgence...just to name a few common pitfalls. A child that is called home to the arms of God early is spared all of this. Like in Monopoly, a get out of jail free card in spades!

I love life. And I particularly love MY life. And I wouldn't trade any of the pain for the joys I've experienced of course. And I know my children get to enjoy the pain to see the beauty too and I'm glad of it. But IF God chooses to take one of them home earlier than I have planned...knowing where they are, the pain they are spared and the joy they get to find sooner than I'd hoped, joy more complete than anything I can possibly imagine or even provide them, a joy that surpasses all human understanding...I too will survive, as will this mom. It's a choice no mom has the ability to make, but if thrust upon her...well. It's really not a bad proposition.

And I REALLY believe this life is the least of the things God has planned for me. And my children. My kids know I love my life but I look forward to the day God calls me home. Maybe my passion for traveling and my natural curiosity in experiencing new things helps. I dream about heaven. The ultimate vacation. If the pain of childbirth brings new life, so does the pain of death and that life is sweeter still.

And then another woman came grieving and confused, not over a death, but the end of a future she was unsure about. It was the worship leader actually. A really beautiful girl named Lindsey from Cincinnati Christian Academy lead our music. This girl could sing like an angel. Really she sounded like a Disney princess! She had an unbelievably beautiful soprano voice and when she sang it sounded clear and angelic. Like bells ringing in heaven. I told her she sounded like a Disney princess to me too, she laughed! She sat down at our lunch table and most of the women were gone and she confessed that she'd just broken up with her boyfriend of a year. She really was confused, she really felt like he was way into her more than she into him and she shared those struggling feelings with a friend through chat and someone printed the chat and slid it under the door to his office. Talk about pain and betrayal. She wasn't ready to really confront her confusion with him, it wasn't entirely worked out in her mind. Did she just have cold feet? He treated her like gold, she knows she should love that. But her heart wasn't in it.

I told her my story. I too had the attention of a really great guy. But he was not THE ONE for me, though to this day I still think he rocks. Of course he does, I never had poor taste in the men I dated. Not a loser among the bunch. But when I met my husband....W-O-W. And she's very prayerful and she never felt anything other than confusion when she prayed about this one. You know maybe I'm wrong, but I believe that when a prayerful Christian girl finds the right one, she'll KNOW IT. And the beauty of it is? He will know it too. All the wrong ones might be great but it won't quite be RIGHT. And honestly you can't know the difference until you find the right one I don't think. How could you know what that feels like? When God gave me Steve he (God) was there in full force to let me know it. I couldn't have run from Steve if I'd tried, all roads led to him. And when I was with him I KNEW IT. There was no confusion. I could have married him on our first date. And the beauty was? He knew it too. And here we sit. Next month we'll celebrate our 13th anniversary. And a lucky one at that. Lucky I found him. Lucky I did pay attention when confusion with the wrong ones hit. Or was it luck? Could something so great really have happened by greater odds and random chance? I don't think so.

There were other ways God blessed me this weekend too. Less interesting and less spiritual, but personally hand crafted by God for me and I recognized them for what they were.

But life is calling....or should I say my son's afternoon basketball game.

Cheers!

Time For A Break

2009-10-02T15:56:00.003-04:00

Well in 1 hour I leave for a woman's retreat with the ladies at my church. Well actually I'm driving by myself. I love the comfort of my car and I want the quiet time to get in the zone on the way there and reflect on the way back.

I wasn't originally going at all, I'm really super busy and this weekend is no exception, but then I discovered that some of my other super busy friends and friendly acquaintances are making time to go...so why wasn't I?

I think that's the master plan to distract modern Christian women...keep us busy so we accidentally take our eyes off the prize. Well I intend on keeping my eyes on the prize this weekend. If I am going to spend time away from my family and pass along my motherly duties to my mom, dad and husband then I am going to do better than just get some extra sleep.

Or maybe there is a master plan. I'm rooming with one of my friends (Betsy Weeks whom I completely adore!) and she invited a non-church going friend to come...and the friend (to her slight but happy surprise) said yes and will be rooming with us. Now church attendance and Christianity are not mutually exclusive in my book but I'll keep my spiritual ears open in case God means for me to somehow...well...whatever he means for me to do. I don't think things happen by chance really. For a non-church-going woman to leave her family for the weekend, pay money, and attend a ladies Christian conference with complete strangers save one...she must be looking for something. If I were simply looking for a getaway I'd just book a room at a beautiful lodge and be done with it for a weekend. (not a bad idea in fact)

I know I need to do some life tweaking, and downsize the quantity of my household belongings by at least half, and to do that I really need some divine intervention. I'm not a packrat by any means but I do save things and I need to be a harsher judge of what actually has value and what doesn't. As busy as I am with school and volunteerism (Scouts and church) my home life isn't set up well enough to accommodate the level of commitment I want to give everything starting with family first. And that's my goal.

And I'm already thinking Christmas. For me Christmas planning really starts in October. In my Christmas blog I noticed from my journalling last year that I really started thinking seriously about Christmas this same time last year. Maybe that's an internal trend I wasn't aware of? I love journalling. And this year I want to really reach outside my family and serve better those who need it most, but I simply can't do that with all the commitments on my plate unless I streamline my home life better. And for that I need help. And this is the kind of prayer I do believe God wants to answer, I mean, I am asking Him to help me hit the reset button on my life so I can serve him better. It's not like I'm asking to win the lottery so I can buy a bigger house or pay a housekeeper or something. I'm wanting him to help me do better with what I've already been given. I just bet that is the kind of prayer He lives to answer.

So maybe this weekend is the beginning of a fresh start for me. Things have been going much smoother for me this school year. The kids are usually at school so early they have to sit in the cafeteria before being allowed to go to their classrooms. I owe that all to my husband getting up and helping me, I am NOT a morning person at all and him just doing breakfast and packing lunches has made all the difference. Well that and the fact that I've gotten better about organizing clothes and bookbags the night before and so forth....ah but I digress.

So I am doing better by far. But I need to go even farther still for God to truly be able to use me in the capacity that I was meant to be used. I don't think I was born to be a Scout leader but at this point in my life that is where I shine, hopefully for Him.

I start to teach the 4th and 5th grade girls on Wednesday nights at church...I believe starting this next week. And I need some serious inspiration to know what they need and how best to give it to them in as useful a form as I can. I'm really looking forward to it. I know these are the girls my son might date. One of them he wants to marry (haha!) and to have personal influence over the girls that might impact my own son's life is simply a double bonus.

If I knew then what I know now about how easy it is to be close to God and hear His will for me in my life... wow! I was a good kid but there is always room for improvement.

We'll see. I'm going open minded and expecting nothing particular. I don't need mind tricks with God, positive thinking or anything. God is real and so getting what he wants to give me is as easy as knocking on the door.

I'll let you know.

Updated Christmas Blog...Time To Get Things Ready!

2009-10-02T03:47:00.002-04:00

I'm a Christmas crazy woman. Clark W. Griswold has nothing on me. LOL See the link to the right and find out for yourself...

Need To Plan Steve's Baptism

2009-10-02T03:43:00.005-04:00

Steve Jr is begging to be baptized so it's time. I was waiting for the perfect weekend and the summer came and went. I wanted a lake baptism and brunch to follow but there never was a Saturday that would work when we were home. I'll have to give this some thought....

Feeling A Little Blue...

2009-09-25T13:40:00.003-04:00

I'm usually a glass-half-full kinda girl. But there is a bullying situation going on with my son that is turning out to be more unfortunate than a few mean comments on the playground. Although at the moment there is a bandaide on the situation, the boys are avoiding each other. But that's no solution.

A child did and said mean things to my son at a summer camp. Steve sees this child from time to time through other commitments and so the name calling has continued off and on. When I put Steve in school this year and held him back this put he and the child in the same grade (though not the same class thank goodness). An incident happened and I told a friend because I needed the child's last name and I know she knew, then I made the adult in charge of the common ground the boys share aware of the situation.

The mom gossiped about Steve and it got back to me so I called her...and her son went to school and created more problems. So I called her again and advised her that the boys need parental intervention and I wouldn't be letting Steve anywhere near her son until we could help them work out these difficulties so things did not get worse...I told her I'd love to get with them her house, my house, a local restaurant, any time of day at her convenience to help the boys work through this positively. Well she's not one of those kinds of moms.

Not only did I not get a call back but in a mutual organization I was made aware her son did not enroll in a class I'm teaching that he does in fact need, because I am the teacher.

What makes parents like that? Why run from problems? Why not deal with them head on and positively? I know my son isn't innocent. In the past handling embarrassment has been among Steve's worst traits. So I know if her son did or said anything to him he dosed it back in spades. I KNOW he's not innocent. He's come a long way but I don't know how long.

And what about her son? Wouldn't he like to know I believe him? And I know Steve isn't innocent? Wouldn't he like the chance to tell me his side and to face Steve with the truth and get to hear just apologies from my son in person? What kind of value do you think it would have to the boys to see conflict arise, discussions begin, and resolutions found. What life lesson would that provide? The life lesson he's learning right now is surely not a positive one. And when adults can't face their problems or work through them...and this really wasn't a problem between she and I let's face it, what lessons do the kids learn? I'm sure she's wonderful, I have no reason to believe she mistreats her children or isn't a great mother. And certainly she's never offended me personally, I have nothing against her.

You know the lesson I have learned in this situation is that it was my mistake to try anything other than God FIRST. I am a hands-on get it over with kinda person but that is not always the best approach. It failed miserably in this scenario.

Today I sent her a card and invited her to coffee so we could talk. I don't have much hope of hearing from her, but at least I extended the olive branch. There really isn't much else I can do. Except pray.

And that is more powerful than 10 times meeting for coffee so I will for sure do that. And I've advised my son to pray too. We pray that this child will make lots of friends, that he'll do well in school, if he has a behavior that is keeping children from liking him he'll learn from it and change so he'll enjoy social success...we pray for all sorts of things Steve and I. Now it's my turn to pray for the mom and the family. That's a prayer God will honor and even though it won't make me feel better right away at least it's a step in a more positive direction.

My life is stressful enough without actual problems like this muddying up the waters. The gloomy rain isn't helping. And I normally like the rain. Makes me think of Scout Camp and that's always positive. :(

My Quest To Brainwash My Son

2009-09-21T22:47:00.004-04:00

You know children are really God's gift to creative moms everywhere. We say we want to let our children grow up and make their own decisions about the world and life and live the lives they want to live...but without our input how do they truly understand all the options out there? And what filters are they given with to determine what matters and what does not?

I always think it's rather shortsighted of parents to allow children to make decisions over larger issues in their lives when they don't have the adult perspective of long term consequences or benefits. I actually know people who think they have no control over their children being willing to drink and party and be sexually active as teenagers. Um hello that's what BRAINWASHING is all about! If cults and evil political leaders can do it why can't us moms?

For example. I've been extolling the emotional health virtues of waiting to date until he's 16 to my son for about a year and a half now. He fully believes he wants to wait, he has an understanding of the physical and mental changes his body will go through that will make him experience sexual mating urges (he's a nature lover, I get as scientific as I can get around here) and he's fully prepared to ride them out until a little bit of maturity hits. He's 10. I have a conversation with him on this topic about every other week, let's say conservatively every 3 weeks, and when we talk it's always when I have a concentrated amount of alone time with him. Driving somewhere or Jackie and Candy are gone or whatever. We talk about the chemical changes in his brain, we talk about the emotional changes, the intensity of the feelings, the things we've heard about in the news (a local boy committed suicide at 14 likely due to a bad break-up)...all these things. We talk about the rivalry among boys, the gossip and emotional craziness of girls at that age...I spare him nothing. He needs to know.

If I keep this up, and believe me I will, and the conversations will become more detailed and more intense (right now they're fairly light)...what are the chances that he won't at least be fully prepared to try to give himself chance to mature before pairing off with a girl? Higher than most I'd say.

And I'm already starting to teach him about the effects of alcohol on the developing teenage brain. Here's a video I'm going to show him tomorrow and he's already seen one like it and I plan on showing plenty more:

http://videos.howstuffworks.com/hsw/8412-think-before-you-drink-alcohol-and-your-brain-video.htm

Ok so my efforts might not work, but frankly I'll be shocked if they don't. People only go to the worship house of their cult once or twice a week, my son lives with his leader. LOL!!!! Only foolish parents don't take advantage and brainwash their children while they are young. No matter what I don't face the future with fear HOPING he'll make good choices. I'm proactively doing what I can to ensure it.

Letter To A Mormon Friend

2009-09-17T21:23:00.001-04:00

Facebook is really kinda cool, I'm new to it frankly. But my roommates from college and I are reconnecting and I didn't even realize how much I missed them! This is a letter to one of them, Jill, who simply asked me how I was doing and how are things in my life. There are so many people from my California days I'd love to connect with but I really don't know how. Mormonism defined me then, and now that's all changed.

Why answer you publicly? Well I have a ton of Mormon friends I would love to reconnect with and I don't want to have to say this over and over. I want to say it thoughtfully, completely, and only once. And it's long. How can I say why I left the church in just a few sentences? That's preposterous. And you deserve more of an explanation than that.

Jill I didn't ignore you, I didn't know what to say. I've changed and I'm ashamed to say I was afraid to connect with you girls through all these years because I've lost so many Mormon friends by my choice, I just couldn't bare the thought of losing what I had left of you girls. My fond loving memories. Gina and Joanna still love me. Thank you girls, you have no idea how much that means to me.

Let me start off with some blunt shocking honesty. I am no longer a Mormon. I am not inactive, I did not leave the church because I do go to Vegas about every 5 years, I enjoy a fine (or cheap even) glass of merlot a few times a month and a good cigar more often than that...these are among the first things active Mormons would look at my life and think. They would think that I left because I couldn't be faithful with the standards, but this is so far from the truth it's laughable. We pay a full tithe on a good income, that's the standard I would give up if it were all about that, believe me! LOL Think of the purses I could buy???

I was faithful for 26 years almost with perfection, even in high school I was a good girl, I was the last standing virgin on graduation day practically and as a missionary believe it or not the only rule I broke was making up excuses to get permission to call my mom about once a month. Standards are no problem for me.

I lived in California after my mission. Remember me dating Nathan in college? You know that he went to grad school in Arcadia, California. Did you know my mission call was to Arcadia, California? My mission president gave me permission for him to write, and did you know he never missed a week? Every week of my mission I got a letter (sometimes more than one) from him. Well until the last 4 months of my mission, my mission president CALLED ME TO HIS WARD. You read that right. Only a returned missionary can fully appreciate the implications of that. The first day I got to my new assignment, I picked up the ward directory and called him directly and informed him that he would have to stop writing me now because I was in his ward. Wish I could have been a fly on his wall when he picked up that phone call. LOL Do you know there were 6 guys from the art department at Ricks in my new ward?! It was like a reunion!

Anyhoo I prayed so hard about Nathan...what to do, what to do...being on a mission and so having time and ability to focus my entire life on hearing the Lord (only a Mormon phenomenon, more about that in a minute)...I actually had a vision. A real honest to goodness I'm sitting in the room wide awake in meditation but my mind is transported to some other plane kinda thing. It was extraordinary. It was like reading a book, but it was seeing things happen. Like a movie book or something. I could literally see all the reasons why I wasn't right for Nathan. But they weren't bad things like I'd supposed, too fat, too dull, too tall, too whatever, the silly things women pick on themselves about when their self esteems are in the toilet. God showed me all these things that were really great about me, but that weren't the best for Nathan. That had never occurred to me before. And then the page turned and I also saw all the reasons why Nathan could not help me fulfill my destiny either, as wonderful as I still know him to be. I bet if I could see that book now I would see a vision of what my husband brings to the marriage...but I digress. And then, miraculously God removed ALL of the feelings I'd ever had towards Nathan of a romantic nature at once. Poof! Those romantic feelings never came back. But the most practical beauty of a gift like that...NO PAIN! Who wouldn't love to walk away from an almost 4 year long relationship with absolutely no pain? That was me. And he was no less attractive, no less intelligent...and he pursued me too in a way that he did not do while we were in college, with a sense of desperation and knowledge that a good thing was slipping through his fingers. I now see why God had to show me this and remove my feelings, had he not, I would be married to him in Los Angeles and been leading a different life than the one God planned.

So let me fast forward a tad...my best high school friend Hope was getting married and I was to be her maid of honor, this was May 1996. The bank I worked for was bought and I was going to have to relocate or find another job and 2 weeks before the wedding God told me just to pack it all up and go home for good. So I saved my plane ticket for a return visit, packed everything I could possibly squeeze into my 1972 Toyota Starlet and drove home across the country...for the rest of my life. When I went to the rehearsal (this isn't a digression as it sounds, this is part of the story) it was the first time in years I'd seen many of our friends and family. When I hugged her oldest brother Steve (um...Carver...hence my name)...well I had a...well to put it on Mormon terms a quickening of the spirit. The spirit of God has real essence, it's not merely a mind thing or like the wind or something. And deep inside of my chest when I hugged my husband for the first time it sort of...flipped inside of me. Like if there was a tornado deep in my heart that I could feel filling the whole cavity of my chest. Being the good Mormon girl that I was and he a non-member I ignored it entirely. He was in the middle of a divorce, a non-member and almost 9 years older than me not that that was actually a problem, I love older men, always have. Stability and security have always attracted me. Well 3 months later I was visiting at his mom's and he was too and when I hugged everybody good-bye it happened again! A couple years into our marriage we were talking about this and unbeknownst to me at the time, he had the same spiritual quickening that I did, but he not really being raised in church or whatever didn't suspect God. So I started to pray. And pray and pray. I mean, to marry outside of the church...and have my marriage not be recognized by God in the next life and lose my ability to reach the celestial kingdom...wow, how could I even consider this?

God did answer that prayer. In powerful ways. The one that will mean something to you as well, I actually got my home teachers to lay their hands on my head and give me a blessing about this issue. My home teacher was in the stake presidency too, he was a very spiritual man. In my blessing he told me Steve was the one I was to marry. I scheduled a meeting with the stake president and counseled with him. All green lights. So I married Steve fully expecting him to be the one to change.

But a Christian man couldn't understand singing songs that praised Joseph Smith. To a Christian praising anything other than God is blasphemy. When he learned about the deeper doctrines of the church, which you know and I won't type here, he...well honestly he thought he'd made a mistake in me.

And then began the fighting. We were already married at this point. I knew on the first date and he knew by the 3rd that we were meant to be so we didn't waste time, we were married within months. I remember him chasing me into the shower with the Bible, it's laughable now but at the time all his "anti-Mormon" crap was driving me crazy. I knew I didn't make a mistake in the choice of my mate however, that never wavered. But eventually he found some pieces of information that broke the foundations for me and when I confronted my bishop and stake president and they confirmed those pieces of information to be true Mormon doctrine...I knew it was wrong. All wrong. See Steve trying to chase me around with the Bible...as a Mormon I believed the Bible to be translated mostly correctly but with some key points missing but those could be found elsewhere so we're all good. What he needed was on MY bookshelves. Not ant-Mormon crap. Books I'd owned for years purchased from Deseret Book.

In a nutshell the Pearl of Great Price...well frankly the original documents were translated by BYU and it is actually just a funerary document for the mummy it was with. Pagan gods and all. The piece de resistance? The Mormon doctrine that God had physical sex with marry to procreate Jesus. That pains me to even type it is so blasphemous to my ears now. This fact of Mormon doctrine was confirmed to me by the writings of past church prophets (where I'd learned it in the first place), then face-to-face in interviews with my bishop and also stake president. These weren't the only false doctrines that caused me to leave the church, these were merely the icing on the cake. I did not read it from anti-Mormon literature. It was in the writings of the prophets I had on my own shelf. And I won't go into the rest of them out of respect to you. I just want you to know I didn't leave on a whim or because I want a glass of wine.

My husband found a book called The Changing World of Mormonism, you might have heard of it, and I only read a few chapters and then had my meetings with church leadership and in like what seems like just a couple of weeks....my heart was ripped completely out of my chest. Who I was to the core was wrong. I defined myself entirely by Mormonism. Even my life's goals and dreams.

This book I mentioned, by the way, is not anti-Mormon or offensive in any way and they only use church sources not anti-Mormon crap. They have a passion for Mormons. If your heart tells you to get it, get it. If not, don't bother. I know where you are. Nothing I can say in this letter causes you to even pause in your faith. And I'm glad of that, I would not want to cause you the pain I had to endure unless God is calling you in which case He'll pull you through himself and that, my dear, is the only way you'd survive it.

I actually flew to Salt Lake City and drove to their store in lower Salt Lake to see for myself that their claims that they were not doing this to get rich were true. I actually met one of the author's. It appears to me that they live the life and income of about $30,000 a year would provide. I saw it with my own eyes. So tales of them lying to get rich, lies, all lies. It's a ministry.

I know you don't believe me. I'm cool with that. When Christians tried to witness to me at the doorstep in my mission, not one of them even caused me to pause on my path. Not at all. I saw anti-Mormon propaganda on my mission. It's rude and unnecessary, the truth is painful enough.

Which reminds me, the pain....WOW...there just are not words in the English language to describe how I felt to discover everything I'd ever thought about myself, my life, my death, my universe, my God, my heart, my hopes and dreams....wrong...all wrong...or rather seen through the wrong eyes...it would be like being born in a concentration camp and then at 25 I'm set free...what would free mean? THAT was what it was like. And this during my first year of marriage! LOL And Mormonism is a beautiful way of life, my concentration camp scenario is meant to describe my feelings of the paradigm shift in my vision of life, not the feelings of being a Mormon. God and his sense of humor and timing...well I have to say he's gifted me in spades so no harm done, we're all good now.

In fact I'd go through it 1,000 times to have what I have with God today.

See I know that you girls (writing to college roommates) are held in God's hands as am I. As a Christian woman (and I'm not saying you are not Christian women, I know how that reads to the eyes of a Mormon but I don't know how else to differentiate, Christians don't refer to you as Mormons and not as just "Christians" to be offensive or to say you aren't in fact Christian women, they simply don't know how else to differentiate and I'm sorry about that. Having been now on both sides I don't have suggestions for how to reconcile it myself. It's more a label of belief system rather than defining your relationship with God. Christians mean nothing by it and you need not take offense because none is intended.)...as a Christian woman, and speaking to you woman-to-woman I know that our hearts are the same.

I know you all, I've LIVED with you. I know your hearts are pure and you love the Lord and your husbands and children and families. I know you have integrity and you pray and you search for God in everything you do. But to compare searching for God through the eyes of Mormonism to simple Christianity ...it's like groping around in the darkness of a thick fog...you are naturally going to stumble into patches of light and that light is going to be warm and beautiful and filling...but then the winds of change will move the denseness back around you wrapping you up in the mundane happenings of your daily life blocking your view of the life giving light.

See that's only a Mormon phenomenon. Only Mormons have meetings dedicated to testimonies. Christians have no need of baring their testimonies to strengthen them. There is no weakness in a Christian woman's heart. We might not feel close to God at all times, but there is NO DOUBT.

Being a Christian woman is FREEING and BEAUTIFUL. As a Mormon I worked to strengthen my testimony on a daily basis as do you I'm sure. As a Christian woman, that's all gone, the fog is drowned out by the light of His love and it fills every corner and crevice of my heart. I know him in my soul, I love him with every fiber of my being, He is before my husband, my children, my possessions, there is NOTHING between me and God. I love him with a passion that goes beyond all understanding, it's like there's light bursting from every cell in my body all at once consuming the darkness all around. I just can't explain it. And it doesn't require effort. That's the most unbelievable part. It's effortless. Because it's God, not me.

I don't have to work to hear God now. To quiet myself, go to the temple or anything else I used to have to do to hear God clearly. It's like I simply found the right spot on the dial. It's fabulous! I still do enjoy quiet peaceful moments of prayer and reflection and communing with God but those times are joyous. It's hard to describe. Not to say there aren't times when I'm distracted and need to hush my inner voices to focus. Of course there are. It's like the reverse for me now. I don't work to maintain my testimony, like a moth to a flame I'm drawn to God and when I knock, He's there. It's fantastic.

I've sort of learned to pray in his language now, ask in His will, and therefore, all my prayers are heard and answered. When things don't go the way I would like, He is there and the peace that only He can give is unbelievable, and it's real. My mom is living with lung cancer...that came back...and is surrounding vital organs...and I have peace! I think I've only cried twice. THAT is the peace that only God can bring. It's REAL. And I'm not suggesting you don't have it, not at all. I'm saying that it doesn't come with effort for me now. It's given freely. And that is worth having at any price.

There are no behaviors that define my relationship with God. I enjoy cigars, wine, gambling, whatever things that you define as sin...I enjoy them all...in moderation of course. I don't believe any particular behavior keeps you from the love of God or can be defined as sin. Let me be specific in what I mean. I don't mean killing is ok or anything or that it isn't a sin. That's a misunderstanding of Mormons, Christians don't define having a cigarette as sinful behavior but addictions of any kind we know to be harmful to our bodies. You can't just do anything bad and say a prayer and "poof" all good now! It's just that sin is personal. Unique for every individual. So for me that might be eating and shopping and for my neighbor that might be work or too much time with little league not enough time with his wife and children...the weaknesses Satan tries to exploit in each of our hearts cannot be defined by a set of rules in the four walls of any religious structure. They are written on the walls of our hearts and we know them intimately because they plague us personally and make us feel weak. Satan's way of keeping our eyes off the prize I guess. Sin is more than just a behavior we fear will keep us out of heaven. It's a behavior that will keep us away from God NOW.

And that is where God comes in. Not because we are good, not because we deserve it, not because we give to the poor, give to the schools, volunteer our time, or serve in church even. Nothing. Only by the grace of God, and nothing we can do. But that's the BEST PART because if we could EARN His grace then couldn't our bad behaviors cause us to LOSE it as well? Possibly but the awesome wonder of it all is that nothing we can do brings us salvation and forgiveness, that only comes through the name of Jesus Christ. So, therefore, NOTHING CAN TAKE IT AWAY. Wow. A Christian doesn't have to be told not to kill or whatever. We avoid all behaviors that would keep us from God. And we each in our hearts know what those behaviors are in our lives and we naturally continue to work to overcome them.

Remember that story about the little girl and her dad and the bicycle in the window? God makes up the difference? That still floating around? In my world God gives me the bike because he loves me, freely, nothing required in return, however in return my heart KNOWS Him, as sure as I know my husband or my children. And my heart is continually drawn to worship and praise Him. It's like the ocean tide or something powerful and unyielding, I might get distracted with the currents of life but He's always there to pull me to him and into Him. Like an addiction to chocolate or something tangible I can't even get in my car without hoping to hear some awesome praise music on the radio so I can commune with God through my busy day.

Am I perfect now? Hell no. LOL I'm exactly the same as you ever knew me to be. But my relationship with God is nothing I ever dreamed could exist...before my...um...transformation let's say. Do I doubt you hear from God and love him and serve him and worship him? Nope, not at all. I know you do.

If you're a Twilight fan then that part of Breaking Dawn where Bella becomes a vampire? Her transformation? It's like THAT. It's the same world but at the very same time it's altogether different. When I read that scene that was the first thing I thought of.

And here's a little truth you can take heart in. I have no intention of bothering to get out my old copy of Changing World of Mormonism and try to "convert" you to Christianity. That's not how it works and I now know that. So does my husband, poor guy! LOL Can our friendship survive a fundamental difference of opinion on this issue? Well I love my in-laws and they are all Democrats. ROFL!!!!!

And I know you don't need converted to Christ anyway, I know as sure as I sit here typing you love the Lord, as do I. Nor is your love of Him weak or less than mine.

I personally don't define any of my friendships by their particular church attendance. Or not in fact, I don't even know if most of my friends go to church actively or not, I don't define a relationship with Christ by church attendance at all. I think that is important and has value but who am I to dictate someone else's walk with God? I chose the church I go to based on prayer and the fact that this church has the largest children's program in my local community and I homeschooled my son so his only social interaction was church! I interviewed the pastor for an hour and know that I believe as the church teaches so it's all good. But there are many wonderful denominations in my hometown and they're all filled and I think that's great.

Church itself has new meaning to me now. I don't go to church to find God, or learn about him or anything of the sort. If I get inspired by the pastor's message, that's icing on the cake but I've communed with God all week long. Actually I'm so busy I struggle to stay awake, poor guy, he must have a complex if alertness is how he defines success LOL!

And I know in that, you and I are the same. And since I don't define other relationships in my life by religious choice, or not, I'm hoping you'll extend the same grace to me. I have lost Mormon friends due to my choice. But what I've gained with God...WOW. All I can say is...worth it. I'd do it again, 1,000 times.

Well. It wasn't weakness that caused me to leave the church. It was only His strength that pulled me through that door, I assure you.

And do I miss it? Sure, of course. Some aspects. Well, people, there's nothing else really. Everything else went from great to spectacular and I wouldn't change a thing.

That includes changing you. I love you for you and hope you can love me for who I am today. I'm sure you seek God and your life is filled with everything you want as well.

So to answer your question, Jill, how am I? Fantastic. I'm glad you asked. All of my best dreams came true in spades. I hope yours did too.

Love you girl,
Michelle

The book I read, I knew it was a ministry, but it's completely free actually. I see they put the entire book online for anybody to read. I tried disproving several portions of it and even interviews with my bishop and stake president proved futile.

http://www.utlm.org/onlinebooks/changecontents.htm

The Men In The Bible Make Me Laugh

2009-09-14T11:25:00.006-04:00

Genesis 24

Ok so like Isaac is the son of the überholy prophet Abraham...remember the kid who had to build the alter he himself was to be sacrificed on but God sent in a ram at the last minute? This story was him as an older man.

I gotta tell you I think the wife had the upper hand in this generation. Actually Isaac sort of reminds me of my husband in a charming way. First of all he had nothing to do with the selection of his wife. I hand-picked my husband, he didn't even see me coming, a fun private joke in our family. Second of all his wife really knew how to get what she wanted out of him without usurping his manhood. An art form any smart wife would do well to perfect. I complained about my dryer one day and 3 hours later my husband was calling me from HHGregg wondering what color I wanted my new washer/dryer combo. LOL I passed on the generosity (making me look like the good, frugal wife, it's all part of the plan ladies, I'll get the new appliances when I want them, don't fret).

Well towards the end of his life, his wife, who favored their younger son Jacob, tricked Isaac into giving his blessing to Jacob (who was only younger by a minute) rather than his personal favorite Esau. Now I don't know how much Isaac suffered from dementia, he certainly sounded coherent, but Jacob pretended to be his hairier brother by putting goat's skin on his arms and it worked. Whateva, I can overlook that perhaps. Props to Rebecah.

The best part is that Rebekah was not only able to get her husband to give her favorite son the blessing, but she tricked him into thinking it was his idea to send away her favorite son to get a wife she approved of. My kinda gal. "I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth; if Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth, like these who are the daughters of the land, what good will my life be to me?" LOL I'm with ya sista. To please her Isaac decreed, thinking it was his idea all along, that Jacob needed to go to the land of his mother's family to get an appropriate wife. And he blessed him in that venture to boot. I'm sure Isaac felt smugly satisfied with himself for a good day's work, little did he know.

The apple (older son Esau) does not fall far from the tree however. Esau was furious and to exact revenge on his parents he married a woman he knew his mother wouldn't like...um when is marriage to another woman a smart man's guide to revenge? He already had several wives so clearly he wasn't rowing with both oars regardless. I'm a woman. I know men. Adding yet another wife does NOT sound like the best way to exact revenge. He did have to live with her after all.

Note to self: you might trick your husband but you will not trick God.

Things did NOT pan out for her favorite son the way she had hoped exactly.

Jacob's uncle made him work for 7 years to marry Rachel but on his wedding morning he discovered that he himself had been tricked into marrying the older ugly sister. Oops. Then he worked for 7 more years to get Rachel too. Rachel must have been one rockin' girl. What a man won't do for a pretty girl....

I always wonder about people who say they don't read the Bible because it's just this person begat that person and that person begat that one and so on... only like a few chapters in the entire work reference geneologies. The rest couldn't even be put on the silver screen with a rating less than R to tell the truth.

I'm not sure what lesson God wants me to learn here. It's not really ok to trick my husband? Never trust a man with hairy arms? Hmmmmmm something to pray about.

But I love Isaac. He reminds me of my husband. Close to the Lord, totally sweet, hard working, filled with gratitude for his life...and easily manipulated to fulfill my whims. What woman doesn't love a man like that? The Bible does remind me how much I love my husband. Maybe I'll put a mint on his pillow tonight.

Busy As A Bee

2009-09-05T15:49:00.005-04:00

Well I've been super busy.

AMERICAN HERITAGE GIRLS

Last week I had American Heritage Girls, our first meeting of the year. The girls LOVED IT!!! We are earning the World Heritage Badge and we started with one of my favorite countries, Japan. I made a little educational coloring booklet which talked about the flag, the location on a world map, Mt Fuji, the islands themselves. Then I showed them Jackie's new bento box. Bento is a Japanese style of lunch, and I even showed them the newspaper that was wadded up in the packaging since it had Kanji on it (Japanese characters). The bento box came from Japan. I showed them take-out sushi, a crab and avacado roll and then smoked salmon, I wanted to get the oohs and aahs from looking at a piece of raw fish. It smelled delicious I must say, I love sushi. Then we made green jumping origami frogs. We made fake sushi from a rice krispie treat, a gummy worm and a fruit roll-up. And I read a Japanese fairy tale. They had a blast! Next we go to Morocco. I'm making basil and oregano cous cous for them to try and we'll drink mint tea with sugar. I even bought an extra tea set from Walmart so we'll have a little tea party. I need to come up with a little Moroccan treat to go with the tea.

DATE NIGHT WITH MY SON

It's amazing what you'll discover if you take one of your kids out so they get uninterrupted time with you. It so happened Candy was with her natural mom, Jackie was spending the night with a friend, and Steve Sr was working late. (late as in 11:00pm). So I took Steve Jr out for a mommy-n-me date. We went to his favorite, China Buffet (LOL!) and then to a bookstore to buy him the sequel in the series he's reading, then to Dick's Sporting Goods then putt putt golf. He even got to drive go-carts.

Evidently there is a kid at church who was mean to him the whole week of camp (name calling, minor pranks) and picks on him in Sunday school class, and now he's in the same grade as this kid and he was mean on the playground. My first instinct was, "I'm calling his mom, we are going to put an end to this right now." So I called a friend who I knew would know the child's family and she and her husband aren't so sure they are the kind of family that would listen. "Not my child" kind of parents. That turns out to be a good thing because you know what? That's not God's way and doing this God's way might be a good lesson for my son.

I told him that although I am not happy to hear that he is being bullied, going through tough times is the only way to develop strength of character so I'm not unhappy he's in this position. If God means to make you strong, you have to go through the fire. I never pray that God will prevent my kids from suffering. I pray that they will have the strength to endure it and I will have the strength to let them walk the path God means for them to walk and not intervene until necessary. Right now my son doesn't actually care about what this kid says. And evidently my specific praises about his appearance have sunk in and my son is confident in his appearance.

The kid was telling him he's ugly. The harsh words fell on deaf ears thankfully, but it was said in front of a girl my son wants to date...when he's 16! LOL That lesson has sunk in too apparently!!!! "Mom, what if she won't date me when we're teenagers because of what he said?" Ummmm if that's your worst problem...I told him that it's too soon to know who God would want him to date. The way he talks about her is almost reverent. He doesn't merely mention things about her appearance, actually never unless it's to say she's pretty, it's her personality that he is attracted to. Hmmmm and I definitely approve of the family that's for sure...well anyhoo I'm not here to play match maker.

Side-note I used to play match maker with my daughter, looking around at all my son's friends. Now I don't wish her on any of them ROFL!!!!!!!! She's gonna be a femme fatale if ever there were, I pity the boys who look her way! LOL Damage control, that's my plan with her...

Back from the commercials...

So our plan right now is to look up all the scriptures that talk about persecution and see what the Bible says to do, do it, and see what happens. I can always call his mom, that's plan B.

I did buy him a new backpack with a place to put a basketball and we bought a basketball just to go to school too so he won't have to be left out of the reindeer games again.

JACKIE IS GIFTED

A crass old phrase comes to mind first off: "No shit Sherlock". She's too smart. And she knows how smart she is too. Just like her mama. LOL ! What can I say? So I'm glad to get paperwork home telling me Jackie is gifted and she can participate in the gifted program at school. Now my worries are that Steve will feel even farther behind his sister. She's been able to help him with homework for years...and yes there is a 2 year age difference. Now only 1 grade so we'll see how that works out. Steve's problem isn't intelligence, it's attention span. So I've put a call into the school to see if I can have Steve tested somewhere to see if he qualifies to participate in the program. Nothing ventured nothing gained. But I'm proud of Jackie. When she wakes up I'll have to really praise her. Although honestly being gifted isn't something she earned, it's a God given blessing frankly. Well whatever, I'll praise her regardless and together we'll thank God for the blessing of her intellect so she knows from whence it came. Other than me. *wink*

She spent the night last night with her friend Fiona. They are absolutely bosom friends. They made up an elaborate handshake too. LOL And Fiona is a very sweet girl too and a good family. Tonight Jackie is going square dancing with her friend Alyson.

Lovin' this book!

2009-08-30T10:30:00.003-04:00

Naturally Thin

I love this book! It totally speaks to me, I never diet, never say diet, never talk about my thighs (which are fine in my opinion, that's not my area of focus)...if my daughter picks up negative attitudes about health and physical appearance it won't be from my lips. I totally believe in moderation in all things, everything, nothing is off the table. I love this book! But I do want to get healthier and for me that also needs to include weight loss. However I'm not going on a diet, I'm just going to tweak my lifestyle here and there and that's going to be my plan. We'll see how it goes, I'll report back of course.

So for today I started with an egg sandwich and even with only 1 egg, 2 slices of whole grain toast and 1 slice of cheese several hours later I'm still feeling stuffed. I think I have too many carbs for breakfast and not enough protein. And I continue that pattern through the day and with all the stress I naturally endure in a day's time at the end of the day I crash and want to just munch in front of the TV. Also I have to eat on the road a lot between activities and since I don't plan and snack properly I'm usually starving when I do so eating more than I should is a natural consequence.

The bottom line is if I don't change my habits, the kids will adopt them for sure. My son is naturally thin, he barely eats, eats slowly, and recognizes "full" about 1/2 way through anything I put in front of him and can't eat 1 more bite past full. So therefore in his case although this is a pattern that will see him at a healthy weight for life, it won't see him healthy unless those calories are really nutrient packed because he just doesn't eat that much. I have begun to teach him nutrition too because he needs to understand high fat and unhealthy is just that, and although he won't be large, his arteries can't take the pressure of poor food choices any more than mine can. Plus I enjoy a ton of veggies and he hates veggies.

I think I'm going to pick something out of my closet that I haven't worn in a long time and hang it on the back of my door as a motivator. Or clip some magazine pictures and put them on a laminated poster in my bathroom. That's more practical. I need to get my Cuisinart off the shelf so I can make larger batches of the healthy things I love. I use my mini-prep for things like my hummus but then I'm making a small batch and it's gone too soon and during my busy school week there just isn't time. I wish my kids liked hummus, it's so good for you and celery is the perfect dipping stick for it! Wonder if Jackie likes hummus? I know Steve doesn't. I don't think Candy does either. Hmmmm what to do for them...

I'm going to try one of Bethenny's recipes for a healthy fusilli. They actually love spaghetti squash, it's getting to be that season again and that's an easy thing to make. Cut it in half, roast face down on a silpat lined cookie sheet until fork tender (about 350 degrees for 30-45 minutes depending) and then scoop out the "spaghetti", pour on pasta sauce and steamed broccoli and voila!

I'm actually working on The Carver Family Cookbook for my kids and I need to only put healthy recipes in there. Plus a few not-so-good-for-you favorites like my cheesecake. :)

I did buy some fresh basil at the garden store and the lady there told me how to grow it indoors all winter long. Yummmmmmmm

New Moon Movie Trailer Rocks!

2009-08-30T10:22:00.001-04:00

New Moon Movie Trailer

I love this series of course. And I love the Poison Study series and the Outlander series is FANTASTIC I'm listening to book 2 now...

Easy Egg Sandwich

2009-08-30T09:08:00.002-04:00

Ok the kids are off to Kings Island with the in-laws this morning and I made a super easy egg sandwich that I wanted to write down for hubby's sake. He does their breakfast before school while I man the troops in the morning. And I do sound like a drill sergeant...

1 whole grain english muffin
1 egg
1 slice of cheese
spray butter
mustard to taste
sea salt
fresh ground pepper
milk
Pam spray

Put the egg in a small bowl, sprinkle on a dash of sea salt and grind some pepper to taste. Pour in a bit of milk...I guess about a teaspoon. Stir it up with a fork lightly, no bubbles.

Pop the english muffin in the toaster, have the spray butter and cheese ready to go so it can be put on the toasted muffin IMMEDIATELY when it pops so the cheese gets a little melty. Spray butter both sides of the muffin.

Spray a 1 cup ramekin with Pam, pour the egg mixture into it and microwave for 1 minute. It will "grow" over the top but as soon as the cooking stops it will shrink back down, it won't overflow.

Dump the egg on top of the cheese as soon as it's done cooking and put a little bit of mustard on the other side of the buttered muffin and "close the lid" of the sandwich. :)

Done! I served it with 6oz of milk and they'll be satisfied for hours with plenty of energy to enjoy their day. It took me about 8 minutes to make 4 sandwiches. Not bad at all and it's something I can easily teach them to do themselves.

Frankly making an egg that way is something they can do in the mornings. They could just dump the egg onto a small plate, sprinkle with a bit of shredded cheese and make a piece of toast to go with it and be done. I should have sliced an apple too but they were too full to eat it.

Bento Box Lunches For My Kids

2009-08-21T17:35:00.004-04:00

Believe it or not I first heard of a Bento Box lunch on Disney Channel, something about kids from around the world. It's a Japanese style lunch, CLICK HERE for more information.

There are many food items in a Bento and they are all individually wrapped and artfully assembled. I'll skip the artfully assembled requirement, and no garnishes either kids, sorry, but I was thrilled to find a website in Family Fun Magazine (love it!) that makes Bento boxes for kids and there are TONS of pictures of meals which is helpful for inspiration.

I just can't tell you how excited I am about this. I've been wanting to figure out how to do Bento Box lunches for my kids since I saw it on TV last spring, and now I can.

Bento Lunches

Max and Mia

2009-08-21T15:13:00.003-04:00

Well I have my niece and nephew over for a night, so this should be a lot of fun. Max laughed hysterically at Looney Tunes on our car DVD player. So much so that we were all laughing at him.

When we got to our house he immediately went to the "girls room" which is off limits to boys (Jackie's room) but when I told him he could play in Steve's room he was so excited. Steve absolutely adores little kids and positively loves Max. Max is the little brother that never will be LOL! Max turned off the lights in Steve's room so he could see ghosts. ROFL!!!!!

I'll keep updating this post tonight and tomorrow with any fun antics. Right now Steve and Max are playing a video game, although Max's controller looks suspiciously like the remote control to a battery operated car...but at least he thinks he's controlling the game. :) He's a pretty smart kid, I don't know how long that will fly.

The kids play fabulously together. We even went to Jackie's football game and they were excellent. Steve has literally played with Max the whole time he's been here. And of course I never see Jackie and Mia, they are in their own little make-believe world.

It's been great!

School Open House Went Well

2009-08-21T10:19:00.002-04:00

I met the kids' teachers. Steve had Mrs. Delaney, my own fourth grade teacher (he's in 4th grade) and Jackie has Mrs. Adams for 3rd grade. I don't know her at all. Well we shall see!

Steve is surrounded by girls in his seating arrangement. He practically freaked out. In spite of being held back, he is in the classroom with 2 friends, Eddie Burns and Skyler Kirker. He's going to do very well in 4th grade.

We went to a Sunday School (small group) Bar-B-Que and his friend was there, and Steve likes his friend's sister, Fayth. (faith) He was freaking out because someone told her. He is the single most uncool 4th grader on the planet. LOL!!! I have told him time and time again...don't tell ANY of your friends if you like a particular girl or not. NONE of them are trustworthy under the right conditions at this age. And IF by chance you DO tell them and they spill the beans ROLL WITH IT. So his response was freaking out and running like a goon, it should have been something like, "It's true, I think Fayth is pretty, so what? Everybody can see that." That would be EXTREMELY flattering and ego boosting to the girl and let him RIGHT off the hook emotionally. After all, he doesn't get to have a girlfriend until he's 16 anyway.

Fayth chose to sit by him at one point so now he's thinking maybe she's NOT out of his league. Out of his league?! Where does he get this crap????????

I told him that if he DOESN'T single out any particular girl it will make him mysterious and unattainable which will drive all the girls crazy. I am intent on raising a dreamboat. He likes old rock and rap (I had the sense not to like that when I was a kid myself) and I told him he needs to expand that. Rock, rap, classical, jazz, big band, spa and country. He needs to have a wide range of musical interest. That will add significantly to his coolness and also make him musically compatible with any girl he happens to be interested in. I'm on a mission. He needs to learn a foreign language and how to play piano and guitar.

I mean, he's gonna be a gorgeous adult. His hair will eventually become dark brown, close to black. It's gotten progressively darker every year since birth and that is how my husband's hair started, I was a blond at his age. It's curly, like big tossled curls not uncontrolled ringlets. He's got big blue eyes, full lips and straight teeth, all of which he can thank me for. Light freckles, to add to his charm.

But he's gotta stop acting like a 10 year old boy for crying out loud! LOL And I talk to him about the fragile nature of girls' self esteems from time to time. He is NEVER to say something negative about a girl or her appearance and if he's involved in such a conversation he needs to be strong enough to end it or in the very least leave the conversation. But being strong enough to have the integrity to stop the conversation is what I really want him to do.

You know if all moms taught their sons how to treat girls and how to protect their psyche's this world would be a better place. Boys might try to be cool but girls turn 10 shades of crazy about 11-12 years old. Psychopaths, the whole lot of them. Boys need to know this and they need to be taught at a young age....no pairing off. I've been teaching my son this since he was 8, he's now 10 and this year as his hormones change we are going to start delving deeper into the physical and hormonal changes taking place in his body and the female body at the same age. I'm going to convince him through science that they are all crazy and to keep an arm's length ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chastity is my ultimate goal but in the mean time avoiding some of the painful unnecessary pitfalls of youth is the step I'm facing right now. Pairing off at 10 is as emotionally charged an endeavor to a 10 year old as it is to a 14 year old even though admittedly the stakes change quite a bit. A 10 year old isn't emotionally prepared for pairing off and I intend on doing my best to help him understand why.

Jackie is a different story altogether. Steve has had an interest in girls since he was like 4 but Jackie...to her it's nothing. Although I'm going to step up the conversations this year for her as well. They will be fully brainwashed by 16 and unless God puts the right one in their path earlier, I'm putting them on track to think about marriage after 25.

To Do Today

2009-08-19T13:01:00.003-04:00

Walk the track

Drink green tea

Light 2 candles

FROM YESTERDAY:

Put away kids new shoes

Spend 5 minutes in the kids closets removing items for yard sale

TODAY:

Fold and put away washed laundry from yesterday

Wash, dry and put away Steve Jr's bedding and throw blankets

Wash entryway floor

Wash entryway shoe cubbies, empty off top surface

Take inventory of kids shoes and make a shopping list

Clean living room floor & hallway

Vacuum living room and hallway

Clean off dining room table

Create AHG fliers for school open house

Create postcards for notes for school lunches

Make another To Do list!

American Heritage Girls and Boy Scouts of America form an Official Alliance!

2009-08-19T12:16:00.004-04:00

http://www.ahgonline.org/uploads/Press_Release_MOU.pdf

I noticed several times last year that we partnered with the Cub Scouts to do certain service projects but I didn't know there was an actual alliance in the works. This is so awesome, I love BSA, it is perhaps my favorite organization.

CLEANING DAY!

2009-08-18T09:14:00.005-04:00

Ok today I have to make a "To Do" list or I won't stay focussed. I'm even going to put my list in the order it needs completed to help me stay on task and break it down into smaller chunks of time in case I get distracted...like when I go to take Candy to work here in a minute. She absolutely loves work by the way. I'll post on that in a minute, right now I'm going to get my green tea and say a prayer so God will help me organize my day...

Mmmmm my green tea sweetened with my new rock sugar is amazing! LOL

Anyhoo...

To Do:

Light 2 candles for cleaning ambiance. DONE

Stop at the Dollar Store and buy clips for kids hangers so I can hang the new school clothes after I take Candy to work. DONE

Stop at the car wash and vacuum my car. DONE

Wash a load of laundry. DONE

Soak the chocolate molds in warm soapy water. DONE And washed them too.

Clean off the coffee table. DONE

Run the dishwasher. DONE

Put all the new clothes and shoes away. DONE (clothes at least)

Spend 5 minutes on a timer further reducing the volume of older clothes in each closet for yard sale.

Make the kids take all the games out of the luggage room and put them in the car for the yard sale. DONE

Have Jackie wash down the plastic parts of my car including the cup holders. (she's attentive to detail...) DONE Had Steve Jr do this. He wanted to earn money, but he didn't earn the money because after 3 times asking me to come tell him if he was done I still found big places he missed that were easy to do...this deserves its own post...

Put all the luggage plus Steve's hiking backpack in the luggage room. DONE

Make the kids read for an hour.

Throw away any leftover chocolate chips that aren't sealed. (I notice they've been disappearing...) DONE

When this is done, make another To Do list. LOL!

You know I love putting things on my "To Do" list that only take a few minutes to do as well as the harder tasks. It's so satisfying to see a long list of things crossed off you know. Very motivating. And generally starting a simple task leads to a bigger one. For example soaking all the seashell molds led to washing and sitting them to dry, plus washing and setting out to dry all the dishes that didn't fit in the dishwasher, and while I had the water there I put all the tubes from Jackie's Critter Cage (her hamster) in there and she and I washed them all now they are drying so we can hook them all together again into elaborate tunnels for Bootjack to run through. Which led to her cleaning out the entire cage and now that my husband is on the road with my "To Shop For" list we've added some things both pets need, like new pet bedding for Bootjack.

I looooove my car being cleaned out. Steve is easily distractible and not attentive to detail. I told him that I would pay him $3 if he would wash all the hard plastic surfaces in my car, carefully avoiding all the leather, and using a toothbrush and small scrub brush (the kind used for manicures) on all the stubborn dirty spots. Well he didn't really use the toothbrush, he did scrub, but he missed big areas. I spent time demonstrating what I wanted done, then left him to work. He came in and asked me to check, no dice, I told him what he missed and went over how to do it again, then told him that I've already spent more time demonstrating and checking than it would have taken me to do in the first place and the next time I came out and it wasn't completely done correctly I would not be paying him. So he cleaned another 10 to 15 minutes worth and came in and said he was finished again. I told him to go back out there and quickly look at every hard plastic surface in my car to make sure there was no spot that he missed. He took another 5 or more minutes checking and I went out again. Still no dice. After all that work. And he was frustrated too, at himself for missing so many areas and at not getting paid when he worked so hard. This was a very hard lesson, but an important one to learn.

He said he doesn't do a good job on things (like cleaning his room) because he's not motivated. If he were paid to do it he would want to do a better job. I told him that he should strive to become the type of person that does the very best they can even when nobody but him is going to notice, when there is no incentive or praise coming. Then he'll always do a great job when it's required. I told him not to feel bad. Pretty much every company on the planet has an employee discipline plan. That would only need to be the case because many people would do less than required if there wasn't a reason not to. It's human nature to be lazy and not want to go the extra mile to do something with exactness and to the best of you ability.

As my job it's necessary to teach him hard lessons about life to make him stronger. So I did not pay him even though he put at least 30 minutes into the cleaning of my car. In the end I made him follow around and watch me as I scrubbed every hard plastic surface with a wash cloth showing him how much he missed in every area. Tough lesson. I really wanted to pay him something for his effort. But I told him after the 2nd time checking on him that I would not if I had to end up doing the job myself and so I didn't. It's easy to let your kids off the hook, but then what lesson do they learn?

In Steve's case he learned that he needs to use the notebook I just bought him. He is easily distracted and can be quite forgetful. So I bought him a small notebook that would fit in his pocket for him to write on when he's asked to do something, especially multi-step instructions like school. He didn't want to use the notebook so he did not do a good job on the car. He also did not ask for help when he couldn't figure out how to get something clean. The notebook would have given him a checklist (10 cup holders, 4 side door pockets, 5 door steps counting the back hatch which was opened and forgotten altogether, etc etc). If he'd used his notebook he wouldn't have overlooked anything and double checking would have been systematic and easy. So he learned a hard lesson.

I told him not to give up. This is a skill he needs to master that many adults don't even have, being thorough and doing the best you can do on tasks for which there are no incentives. Simply for the sake of pride in one's work and personal integrity. He'll get it. It led to a great parenting conversation so that is always good.

Steve Jr Doesn't Want To Be Sung To...Again. LOL!

2009-08-17T21:33:00.000-04:00

Steve told me on Saturday night that he doesn't want to be sung to anymore. :( Punk. We'll see if it sticks this time. Frankly I'm lucky it lasted this long I guess....

Hi Ho Hi Ho It's Off To Shop I go...or went rather...

2009-08-17T21:08:00.010-04:00

Ok first of all let me just say that for the first time in my life I saw someone who was so otherworldly beautiful he literally took my breath away. I was foggy headed, I couldn't breath or think, I had to force myself to look at the girl behind the counter next to him so I could concentrate and remember what my question was....when I described it to my husband I said, "Imagine you are just shopping and you turn around and there is Megan Fox, dressed scantily at Abercrombie [Kids] as a sales clerk...THAT is what it was like". I'm not even kidding. I'm sure he was just a kid in his middle 20's. I actually had to use calming self-talk to help me through the transaction. I also had to address him directly because what I wanted she had no idea about but he was giving me suggestions. I think Steve and Jacqueline are about to be the best dressed kids at Bethel Tate Intermediate School ROFLFMAO!!!!!!!!! Seriously I actually had to tell myself I needed to focus, I'm a customer, nobody is aware that I'm struggling to breath, just ask the question calmly and look the girl in the eyes and concentrate on her...I have no idea if my face showed any emotion or not but if I had a weak heart I would have had a heart attack. My husband listened patiently to my story but my sister-in-law had that experience once, it was way more satisfying talking to her about it.

I treat my husband like he's also my girlfriend and sometimes he's so disappointing as a girlfriend. LOL! I made him take me to see The Time Traveler's Wife last night for date night and he looked over at me RIGHT during a climactic emotional moment to see if I was crying. HE RUINED THE MOMENT! And from then on I was watching for him to be watching me. DOESN'T HE KNOW THE RULES? YOU NEVER LOOK SIDEWAYS DURING THOSE SCENES! You let your girlfriends have their moment in peace. Well the movie was definitely worth seeing, I actually need to see it again, sans Steve. I know he was just DYING to roll his eyes and sigh. He thought he was behaving so well too. He was up until then. But from that point on everything was tainted. LOL!

Anyhoo...I haven't done any actual back-to-school shopping...I'll get back to this...I have to put the kids to bed. :)

Ok kids are down. Wide awake, but down. Time to get them back into an earlier schedule. Made it by 9:30pm tonight, but neither kid is tired. I'm going to have to give them both honey and warm milk the first week back to school for sure. And I informed my husband that he is getting up with the kids this year as well. I don't complain about him getting home so late he literally doesn't see the kids but he usually at least gets to kiss them good-bye. Well he's going to make the effort to do that this year as well.

Back to the shopping spree. Well it was bad but ok I guess. Compared to what I used to spend on clothes I was a saint, so that has to count for something! LOL It all started innocently on my part. I have been shopping at yard sales and Goodwill for the past month and a half trying to buy the kids all used clothing for school this year. But after all that time I still don't have what you'd call back-to-school clothes for either kid. I think I started too late in the game. I can see how shopping regularly and watching for sales and whatnot is going to be my saving grace, but with 1.5 months to go before school there just wasn't time.

Plus...and here goes the justification (a justification even my husband agreed with I'll have you know) my son has the worst self esteem for some crazy reason. At 10 years old he thinks certain girls are completely out of his league already. Where does he come up with this crap? We are NOT rich by any means but we live in a town where nobody is rich so dressing the kids any way they want to dress for school is easily affordable to us. So letting him pick out clothes that he thinks are completely cool really will help him and thankfully we are so blessed to be able to do that for him. So he got a bunch of shirts (some brand he loved called Hurley and some others too) then a couple of things from Abercrombie Kids. And I went to Aeropostale to get him some necklaces. Actually I love Abercrombie clothes. They are exactly the look I love on kids and teens, minus the short skirts I mean. Clean cut, layered but casual. Jackie got a couple of things off the clearance rack but I was shopping Abercrombie for Steve. He's going to go to school looking sweeeeeet. hehe! And he has like 5 colognes to choose from, and I buy him a cologne scented shampoo/body wash combo so his hair always smells great (and his hair is great to start) anyways so he should be good to go. I just picked 2 mannequins and bought the ensemble down to the belt minus the jeans, their jeans aren't adjustable waist and he'd need a size 5/6 to fit his waist! Then added a few extra sale priced polos and tees and voila, done! LOL

Justice had a 40% off everything in the store sale so I just bought a bunch of outfits and so she's good. I need to buy both kids a couple pair of jeans and for Jackie some casual shoes that work with everything and they're done. I got Jackie a tankini at Justice for $6 for next year! It's completely adorable. See now what I need to do is shop ONLY the clearance racks on 40% off everything days (because that is 40% off the lowest price kinda sale).

Yard sales and Goodwill are not dependable for kids clothing. My new plan is to buy out-of-season new. So right now I'll be looking for summer clothes for next year. One of my friends got her son shirts at a sale Macy's had for $1.50 each. I can only beat that at Goodwill on their dollar days and then I'm buying used.

I need to figure out what third party retailer gets Abercrombie kids...that is my new favorite store for Steve. I know the third party retailer that gets Justice clothing locally. (Gabriel Brothers in Beechmont).

I'll get good at this frugality thing. In the mean time I need to try on my own new clothes and put my pretty new teapot on the stove. I bought a clear one at Teavana so it could stay there permanently and be pleasant enough to look at all the time. It's made out of the same kind of glass beakers are made from, it's amazing, you can boil in it and leave it sit warming and it's good to go. It even gave you a guideline to figure out the approximate temperature of the water based on the varying levels of boiling water. You know, rolling bubbles vs tiny simmering bubbles etc. I don't care, I'm not that picky, but maybe I will be...

Michelle's Italian Pasta Salad...and my husband.

2009-08-14T13:29:00.005-04:00

Steve thinks he's so funny. And he knows me so well. The following questions are him making fun of me.

Me: "Babe, would you bring me home some toothpicks?"
Steve (without so much as a pause): "Round or square?"
Me: (answering without realizing he's making fun of me) "Round"
Steve: "What kind of wood do you want them made of?"

Ha ha Mister Smarty Man. (Name that movie....) I do admit, I am a teeny bit particular about things.

Ok I finally put together our "official" family recipe for italian pasta salad:

Note: Pasta salad needs to be made a minimum of 24 hours in advance, 48 hours would be divine to allow the flavors to blend...but of course it can be eaten directly when you make it.

1 lb box Barilla brand rotini pasta, cooked el dente, rinsed well under cold water to remove the excess starch
1 jar julienne cut sundried tomatoes in olive oil and spices, drained
2 cups of mini-mozzarella balls - these are the size of peas, if you can't find these quarter fresh mozzarella balls
1 cup fresh grated parmesan cheese
1 cup chopped fresh basil (well dried after you rinse it)
1 stick pepperoni, peeled, cut into 1/4"-1/2" diameter wheels and quarter those
1 can quartered artichoke hearts, each cut in half lengthwise
1 can sliced black olives
1 jar Olive Garden salad dressing, or your favorite salad dressing

Gently toss it all together. After 24 hours, toss again with a rubber spatula redistributing any salad dressing that pooled at the bottom of the bowl.

One more thing I want to add juuuuuust to see. 2 t. red pepper flakes. I'll try this on us before I take it somewhere. I love unexpected ingredients and although this is delicious, I want something undefinably fantastic in all of my recipes.

This rocks.

Bridal Shower Cake!

2009-08-09T22:18:00.005-04:00

Ok so right now I'm working on a post on my cake blog because I'm doing my cousin-to-be's bridal shower cake. They are getting married in Hawaii and their wedding invitations had a starfish attached to what looked like a beach scene, really pretty invitations, perfect for the theme.

So I bought a bunch of candy shell molds in all different sizes and I'm going to make white chocolate shells...but I can't decide...do an all blue cake and white shells...or I saw this gorgeous cake that was marbled blue and white with colored shells...let me see if I can find the pictures I'm choosing between...

Ok here are some images of what I mean. I think that I am going to skip the raw sugar. I did raw sugar on my niece's birthday cake.

Frankly it did add something to the flavor and texture of the cake that I really wasn't keen on. Rather crunchy on my teeth but in a gritty way, not a candy crunch kinda way. Hard to explain. Gritty is a great adjective for the taste and texture in my mouth. My sister-in-law could weigh in with her opinion here. But 6 year old kids loved it and the look of the cake was fabulous. So if I use it, it will only be around the bottom and I'll make sure to brush it off before I cut it for sure. It looks cool but a cake is meant to be eaten so, you know....

So right now I'm researching flavors for the cakes I'm making. I am making 3 layers, 12", 10" and 8". I want really decadent island-vibe kinda flavors. When I think of the islands I think of rum cake, pina colada's, mangos, bananas and with Hawaii in particular I think of nuts too. The 8" layer will be white on white for those less adventurous souls out there. The bottom two layers are going to ROCK! LOL I saw a recipe where you take basic buttercream (and my buttercream is delicious and velvety smooth) and add Nutella which is a chocolate hazelnut spread. Wouldn't that be a delicious filling with a banana cake and fresh bananas chopped on top of the filling? Maybe even roasted chopped hazelnuts and chunked chocolate pieces. Hmmmmm I'm sorta making this up here but the ideas are flowing. And I need a pina colada cake. I roasted Almond Joy bagged coconut flakes for my sister-in-law's wedding and it was DIVINE roasted. Roasting the coconut really enhanced the flavor and gave it a delicious candy-like crunch in the cake.

Ok I wonder...why couldn't I make the Duncan Hines Pineapple cake, and put toasted coconut flakes into the cake mix and reserve some to sprinkle on the filling. Then when it comes out of the oven poke holes all over with as skewer and brush on a really rich dark rum syrup and let it sit for at least 24 hours to infuse? Not too much. Wow that sounds delicious just reading it. I could fill it with a buttercream made with 1 teaspoon of rum flavoring and 1 teaspoon of coconut flavoring and sprinkle well drained crushed pineapple and toasted Almond Joy coconut on the filling. I could even substitute some of the pineapple juice for water in the cake mix to make the pineapple flavor rich.

I have to get this decided so my husband can do my shopping while I'm at camp. Or mom even, she'd be better at shopping for this.

Baked Ziti

2009-08-02T14:19:00.004-04:00

I am forever on the quest for the Carver Family Baked Ziti recipe so here is today's attempt at baked ziti. It won't make it into the family cookbook until the flavors blend together in my mouth in a perfect symphony of gloriously combined flavors...according to my taste buds of course. To each their own, this is mine.

1 lb Ziti pasta, cooked el dente and drained
3 Bob Evans Sweet Italian sausages, sliced, pan fried til cooked through
15 oz container of Ricotta cheese
7 oz container of Kraft Shredded Parmesan, Romano and Asiago cheeses combo
8 oz large curd cottage cheese
4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese, divided in half
1 jar of julienne cut sundried tomatoes in olive oil and Italian spices, drained
1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms
1/2 can of quartered artichoke hearts, cut into smaller chunks
2 jars of Classico brand tomato & basil spaghetti sauce

Preheat oven to 375. Stir everything but 2 cups of mozzarella cheese in a large bowl. Spread into a 13x9 baking dish. Sprinkle the remaining mozz cheese evenly over everything. Bake for approx 35 minutes until the cheese on top is lightly browned here and there like the pictures in the magazines show.

I'll get back to you later with the verdict, I just didn't want to forget what I put into it if it turns out great.

VERDICT Mmmm it was ok. I'm going to omit the artichoke hearts, add an extra sausage (DELICIOUS!), omit the cottage cheese and I'll switch to a cup of shredded Pecorino Romano in place of the 3 cheese blend. We'll try again. And I'll read recipes to see if I can come up with some secret spice to kick it up a knotch. :)

Ideas That Rock

2009-08-01T23:29:00.007-04:00

Today Jackie had her first (of the year) cheerleading competition. They took 4th place but they looked dazzling doing it and she had fun. She REALLY loves cheerleading. I might let her try an All Stars squad, they don't cheer for a team of any sort. Cheerleading IS the sport on those kinds of squads, they travel and compete all over. We stumbled into the annual cheerleading competitions one February at MGM Studios in Florida one year, I loved it! I've watched them on TV a few times. We'll see. That's not why I logged on! LOL

We went out to eat after and Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me came on the radio in the car. After Martha Stewart's "Ideas That Rock" campaign I'll never hear that song the same! I LOVED this particular ad campaign!!! I even wrote the show. GENIOUS.

I made 25 competition hair bows for the girls. Pictures will be forthcoming. I listened to the entire book of John in the Bible, Eclipse and a couple chapters of Breaking Dawn while making these bows! I really enjoyed it though. I really want a hobby to do with my hands while I listen to audio books at night. I'm not motivated to clean at night...

Forgot to add the new group photo...

2009-07-22T22:07:00.003-04:00

I've ordered copies for family to replace the Easter picture too. :)

Beach Pictures!

2009-07-21T03:21:00.007-04:00

Ok I took my beach pictures and I practiced my oil painting in Photoshop. The process works (for me so far) with no facial details.

Look what other cool trick I taught myself. I wanted to make a collage on my wall from one picture, but I liked so many of the pictures I'm framing 9 different pictures from the session instead of the collage. And also when I sliced the pictures of the kids, invariably someone was "sliced" unfavorably.

HALLELUYAH! LOL

2009-07-17T12:30:00.003-04:00

I know what you're thinking...but LISTEN TO THE LYRICS...My son found this on YouTube.

We had a conversation about how strong the pull is to watch videos, listen to music, read comics, see movies and play video games that are on the razor edge of "just barely ok." He does watch videos, listen to music and so forth that I don't like him enjoying but aren't quite bad enough to absolutely say "no" to.

I'm trying to teach him how to make wise choices for himself and I'm trying to give him enough freedom to explore without feeling stifled, even exploring things that aren't QUITE what I want for him. If I take away all of his choices he'll go crazy at friends' houses, I know that, and he has plenty of friends that don't subscribe to our beliefs. He needs to be in a place to WANT to do the right thing, even when I'm not around. And if I never let him have the freedom to choose poorly he'll never get to experience just how good choosing right feels.

So I'm proud of him right now. It's easy to just give in, it takes effort to find good sources of entertainment. I'm glad to see him make the effort. I like the song too by the way. :)

My Husband, The Devil hehe!

2009-07-17T07:24:00.003-04:00

Well I'm TRYING to be frugal and one would think my husband would be thrilled with that plan. I don't want to move out of this house, I love the neighbors, proximity to our parents, kids and families at the school, and our school, though not a dream school by any means, is state rated excellent again but my kids would do well in a poor school because I take my responsibility as a parent to educate them very seriously. Anyhoo he has always wanted a new house so I'm being frugal (to the extreme) for a year so at the end of the year he has to make a decision and me spending didn't get in his way in any way.

So yesterday in the morning I complained about my washer. I forgot what I have, some "really great" front loader which sounds like a jet engine, I have to leave the door open when it's not in use so bacteria doesn't grow...which doesn't concern me because I use bleach in some loads and it takes extremely long to go through a cycle. The "fast cycle" plus extra rinse was supposed to take 46 minutes but I timed it, it was more like an hour and 15 minutes or maybe just a tad over.

So my fabulous husband (he really is great, that wasn't sarcasm, what husband hears a wife's offhanded complaint and does the following?...) calls me from HH Greg "Honey do you want an Electrolux washer and dryer or they have a new Whirlpool set that is supposed to do all the same things for $600 less?" Um can I think about it? I need time to look up reviews online on both products, we bought this washer without our usual care and research and I'm sure some other woman might have used and reviewed it and I just didn't think to check.

My dryer is about to die so I do have a need but don't these things go on sale? If the new Whirlpool is as great as the Electrolux of course I'll save $600. I'm just thinking these things might go on sale and I can wait for a sale. Trying to be frugal, being spontaneously offered $4,000 in new washing machine and dryer combo NOT HELPING LOL!!!!!!!

Happy Mommy

2009-07-16T00:05:00.002-04:00

Months ago I blogged a sad mommy moment. My son told me he was too old to be sung to at night. *sniff* *sniff* What I failed to blog was the rest of the story. I told him ok, but if I had to quit singing then on the last night I got to not only sing to him but he had to let me hold him and rock him too while I sang like the old days. He agreed. About a week after I stopped singing he told me he was wrong and he still wants to be sung to. I've been singing ever since. Twinkle twinkle little star.......

Workout Getting Easier

2009-07-15T22:56:00.005-04:00

I must admit I've never done weight training before and it makes a tremendous difference in my workout. In just 4 sessions my endurance and strength have increased a ton, even on my cardio workout. My husband said the same thing. And you know, I don't even mind the drive at all. I am a night owl. I actually enjoy working out at night with my husband.

When we try walking at the track together he walks faster than I am and spends a lot of time frustrated because he wants to walk WITH me. Well at the gym he can go at whatever pace he wants and we are still together. The only other time I've had a dedicated workout buddy was one year my Girl Scout co-leader and I walked in the mornings before school. After several months when the really bad winter weather hit and neither one of us had lost an ounce from walking we just quit. You'd have to walk for an hour at a speed walking pace to make it a weight loss tool and power walking for that long is B-O-R-I-N-G to me. The eliptical machine for 30 minutes is a much better choice and there is no pressure on my joints. But adding weights...major impact, even on my cardio workout. I can already walk faster for longer without feeling it. The strength training is what is making the difference.

In fact, I think I want to do the eliptical machine for my warm-up but decrease the weights on my legs so I can do both. I can't do the workout on my legs at my current level after the eliptical machine. That was just miserably painful and nothing I would stick to. But that machine is a killer cardio workout. So working my way up to 30 minutes on that is a better goal than doing the treadmill because the weights hurt so bad.

And if you want to know the truth I started going to the gym at THIS particular time because there is a KILLER hill I have to climb to get to the pool with my Cub Scouts! ROFL!!!!!!! Even those 10 year old boys can barely take it, most of them have to stop for breaks believe it or not, and my boys are all athletes. Let me see if I can find a picture. The hill has 2 sets of stairs and I think my girls (American Heritage Girls use the Cub Scout facilities for their camp too) counted like 143 steps but I can't remember exactly for sure. Ok here is the first set of stairs, when you get to the top, you turn left and walk about 6 feet to get to a second set of steps equal to these.

That picture doesn't do the incline justice...it's brutal! LOL It's not a gradual climb, think San Francisco.

That image can be found HERE

I always loose weight at Cub Scout camp. Double that because I go 2 weeks in a row, 1 time with my son and 1 time with my little daughter. The things mothers do...

Treadmill...

2009-07-13T22:49:00.002-04:00

Um the treadmill is a WAY better warm-up machine than the eliptical. I even did almost 25 minutes on the treadmill pre-workout and still did fine using all the machines. Except the calf-raise. He has me lifting like 50 pounds or something insane, my calves started screaming at like 10 (out of 15). I'm lowering the weights. And the chest press he only has me doing like 20 pounds.

And I don't think I need the motivation of a trainer just yet. I enjoy working out with my husband. And at 7:30pm when I was driving down I was dog tired but still didn't want to let him down and make him go by himself so I forced myself to go. A few minutes walking on the treadmill and my heart rate and increased oxygen of course kicked in and gave me the energy I needed to keep going. I might put some green tea in the fridge and sip on that during my workout instead of water. Gentler more efficient form of an energy drink, plus killing wanna-be cancer cells to boot.

Now I need to see what bachelor Jillian stabbed in the heart tonight. (let go I mean of course, she's a really sweet gal)

Netflix is great!

2009-07-13T15:04:00.002-04:00

Another money saving tip? I wanted to buy Jackie High School Musical 3 (although I think we own it) but I noticed that Netflix has it in their instant download section now! And we have some gadget (I don't know if it's our Apple TV or the DVR gadget) that allows us to access our Netflix-on-demand que from our widescreen TV in the living room!

I'm Really Enjoying the Challenge + Hummus Recipe that ROCKS!

2009-07-13T13:09:00.006-04:00

No, not the eliptical, I know you were hopeful. Frugal living.

Ok so first of all let me report back....THE HUMMUS ROCKED! A few minor changes for next time, first of all the garlic really needed to be roasted. I don't like the bite you get when you don't roast them. I'm going to try to make my next batch without the cilantro and garlic all together though to see if I like it just as well. The secret ingredient is the Sesame Seed Oil, wow that was JUST what I was looking for! And I think I will reduce that to 1 T. instead of 1.5 T. I ate it with a SPOON it was so great, so that is the PERFECT dip for celery. And fantastic for your health too. I just made another batch in like 5-10 minutes and it's in the fridge right now so the flavors can have time to really blend well. What cooking term would that be? Anyhoo it was delicious right out of my Cuisinart but after several hours it will rock. I made it now (1:40pm) to eat during The Bachelorette tonight. I will admit that unless you are like me and LOVE lemon you should probably reduce the lemon to 3-4 T. fresh squeezed. I'm going to try it with 4 T. next time. 1 large lemon worked.

Basic Hummus:

1 16.oz can garbanzo beans (chick peas)
3 T. reserved liquid from can of garbanzos
2 T. olive oil
3 T. fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 T. sesame seed oil
1/2 t. sea salt

Drain beans reserving 3 T of the liquid. Put all items in a food processor and process for several minutes until smooth. Chill for 4 hours.

1/4 of the recipe is 3 Weight Watchers Points by the way for those of you counting. I did the math. *wink* The nutrition and fiber make this a FABULOUS treat.

Click on the link above to view the amazing health benefits of sesame seed oil!

I want to be healthy but I refuse to eat like a dieter all no fat or low carb, I want rich delicious flavors with portion control being the key. And healthy snacking so I'm never fully hungry. Just ate a kiwi and my green tea is brewing right now.

And by the way, an old friend who spent some time in Fiji said they don't peel kiwi on the islands, they just eat it like an apple. Being the smart girl I am I decided to try it...it's delicious with the peel! I just use a veggie scrub brush to clean it like I would an apple and a lot of the fur came off and the rest you can't taste at all. Even my PICKY PICKY son likes it with the fur. One website said mixing kiwi juice with water and vodka makes a fabulous skin toner. I also happen to know, thanks to my Brazilian brother-in-law, that drinking said skin toner makes a fabulous summer cocktail. LOL! (He peeled the kiwi, coarse chopped it and put it in a blender with ice, water and a tad bit of vodka and it was the lightest most delicious summer cocktail I've ever had! And I rudely crunched on the ice to eat all the chunks of kiwi too! LOL I need to get the recipe...)

I don't peel cucumbers either. God made them, there has to be nutrients there. Of course God made watermelon rind too. But that's why he also made sugar....have you ever had candied watermelon rind? It's a colonial treat we ate while in Williamsburg, VA.

Now my report on the tabbouleh? Too much work. I only used half the shallots and there were still too much for me. way too much parsley too, I only used 2/3 of the recipe requirements and it was still too much. But I ate it, it was very good. Jackie ate it too.

My brother-in-law really is a fantastic cook. He needs to scrap his doctorate degree and open a restaurant. I'll make hummus and tabbouleh for the salad bar and he won't even have to pay me. Just feed me.

Anyhoo frugal living...

Ok turns out this is really like an adventure. I forgot how much I enjoy yard sales. I was able to buy Steve Jr some back-to-school gym shoes, he LOVES them and they were $4. I bought $121 worth of baby items for $8.50 which ended up being a fabulous babyshower gift for Candy's girlfriend. (Yes, my teen daughter has a friend having a baby...she seems happy and the family seems wonderful...oh well...) I made up for that putting gas in my car to get to the shower, 40 minutes to get to my daughter's mother's house to take her another 40 minutes to the shower, then 55 minutes to return her to a birthday party then another 60 minutes home....oh well. She was the only non-family friend in attendance so I'm glad I went.

Then I stopped at a discount store and was REALLY blessed, the shoes for Steve were great, they were necessity. But at Gabriel Brothers I bought Jackie the perfect pair of red knit shorts for cheerleading ($1) to match the Kit Kittridge tee I previously got her for $1. I also bought her a darling tee ($2) with a turtle on it for the new skort I got a week ago. And the pièce de résistance, God blessed me with THE PERFECT white beachy summer dress for Candy for the picture I want to take for my living room wall. $16.99!! It's long and summery with tiers of crochet, ribbon and white krinkled kind of cotton. But not overdone, not girly girly with bows or anything, it's made for women. It's PERFECT. And Jackie has a simple white cotton sundress in her closet I bought hoping to take this picture last year that will still fit I think and would be perfect. A much simplified version, a bottom ruffle with no tiers, similar fabric to Steve's shirt. Now I can't wait!

I need to get all the outfits ready and take the picture next time Candy is with us.

Another thing I'm going to try to do? Make my own perfume. My favorite perfume (Paris by YSL) is $75 a bottle. I bought a bottle yesterday then I thought...why can't I research and figure out how to make my own? Well in just a few clicks I figured out how to do exactly that. Then a few clicks more I found a site that details the top, middle and bottom notes of Paris itself. I'm not going to buy all the oils, but I will pick a few key pieces to create my own fragrance. I'm not saving money if I buy oils that cost a total of $150 when I only need a couple drops of this and a couple drops of that. I wonder about the shelf life of opened bottles of essential oils? I could use it in my fragrance diffuser too. And mix a little in an unscented lotion.

I bet I could put a few drops of essential oil in my finishing spray, not hair spray, a shine only spray I use. I'm going to try it, the worst that could happen is I'll have delicious smelling greasy hair for a day.

OHHHH and God blessed me with a new candle. Yes, God cares about the little things. He's the ULTIMATE doting father. While at Gabriel Brothers I thought about buying an off brand candle. Then I decided that I better not, I didn't need a new candle and maybe, just maybe, I could find some at a yard sale. Well we went to Bed Bath & Beyond yesterday and one of my favorite candle scents was on sale (Dune Grass, the big jar, bonus, husband loves this one too) It was $25 marked 25% off so almost $19. I thought about it and decided to go ahead since it was on sale. Well when I got to the counter, a customer next to me pointed to an unused $10 off coupon (she had one and didn't need it) and so my $25 candle cost me $9!!!! A few dollars more than the generic candles I was looking at a day earlier! Tell me that isn't God. That's EXACTLY God.

NOTE 4 HOURS LATER: In the mail today came the $10 coupon I used yesterday....time to go back to the store! LOL

And after spending so much time in the kitchen and so much time prepping what really is supposed to be a simple Mediterranean appetizer I got an inspiration. On the days when Steve and I are feeling like we want something fun for dinner on date night, but being more budget savvy, what we'll do is pack our picnic basket and drive to our favorite grocery store which always has gourmet items in the deli, and we'll load up and have a picnic on the river. That will be a FRACTION of the cost, same foods in many cases, and probably more memorable.

And I bought the Sunday paper, now I need to look for coupons. The final budgeting frontier. LOL! And believe it or not, it is a fun challenge to try to figure out ways to get exactly the things I want at a fraction of the cost. I don't want to live poorly, that's not living. I want to live cheaply.

Know what my son said when I described all the baby items I got for $8.50? "Mom, don't turn into Mr. Krabs!" ROFL!!!!!! If you don't know who Mr. Krabs is and how miserly you need to read the description of his character by clicking HERE. He has a bad back and frequently loses limbs because he sleeps on all his money which is stuffed in his mattress. He's sold his soul several times for money. LOL!

Cooking at Home is NOT saving me money...

2009-07-08T22:02:00.003-04:00

Ok so the shallots alone in the recipe cost over $4. I haven't made either recipe yet, but all the ingredients are purchased and I spent a fortune. Now in some cases (for example the Sesame Seed Oil I purchased in place of Tahini which wasn't available at the local grocers) I need like 1.5 T and of course the whole bottle cost $3.29. So cost per serving...well I didn't look on the bottle and I'm not getting that picky.

The cilantro was $1.25. I only need a small amount so the rest I'll put in my eggs or I'll make salsa.

The mint was $4 total.

$4.76 for lemons.

I KNOW I can spend less money just buying it by the pound at Kroger's so in this instance, making it from scratch will not save me a dime. Now I'm anxious to see what it tastes like.

I wonder if it's too late to plant flat leaf parsley? See if I grew the herbs that would save a ton. Is garlic something you can grow in Zone 5? I think I live in zone 5. We love lots of things with garlic in it. I bet I would enjoy an herb garden. Mom planted some Rosemary for me, I need to pluck a few sprigs and make some chicken.

Basil grows easily, I know that. And I love chopped fresh basil in lots of recipes.

Anyhoo. Tangent master at it again.

Well I don't think I saved money on the Tabbouleh for sure but my recipe might also incorporate more flavors (I know it does) and it might totally rock.

The hummus....we'll see. But I love hummus and knowing I'm just a mini-prep cuisinart pulse away from my own fresh batch makes me wanna sing so I gotta go. Time to taste test....

Training Warm-Up Boo Boo

2009-07-08T12:29:00.003-04:00

Ummmmm don't use the eliptical trainer as a warm up for your weights workout....my legs were screaming on all the machines!!!!!!

Hummus Amongus

2009-07-08T10:46:00.002-04:00

Ok I love Mediterranean food. It's my favorite if you want to know the truth. Anything from the Middle East...I love it.

Well my husband and I got lunch on Saturday at local restaurant (Cafe Mediterranean in Anderson) and lunch cost $75 with tip. It was delicious and that's not a complaint, but for frugal living, unless we're out on a special night with friends or relatives or a special date night, if we are going to be frugal, spending $75 on a casual lunch needs to be a thing of the past.

So I am going to learn to make the things I love the most when I go to Mediterranean restaurants and I'm going to begin with hummus and also tabbouleh. Both are so good for you you could eat as much as you want and still feel virtuous. We'll work our way to rack of lamb. Now I will say that the olive bar at the Anderson Towne Center Kroger's has a wonderful selection of Mediterranean appetizers right there on the bar. But since I live 30 minutes away in good traffic and I want to try to be frugal I'm going to make it myself.

There are a million hummus recipes and I seem to enjoy the ones that have a slight lemony flavor with a hint of garlic. I found one with cilantro in it so I might even love that more, I'm going to try with and without the cilantro. Here's the recipe:

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients:

1 16 oz can of chickpeas or garbanzo beans
1/4 cup liquid from can of chickpeas
3-5 tablespoons lemon juice (depending on taste)
1 1/2 tablespoons tahini
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon cilantro, finely chopped

Preparation:

Drain chickpeas and set aside liquid from can. Combine remaining ingredients in blender or food processor. Add 1/4 cup of liquid from chickpeas. Blend for 3-5 minutes on low until thoroughly mixed and smooth.

Place in serving bowl, and create a shallow well in the center of the hummus. Add a small amount (1-2 tablespoons) of olive oil in the well. Garnish with extra cilantro (optional). Serve immediately with fresh, warm or toasted pita bread, or cover and refrigerate.

I'm going to grill the pita bread on the stovetop just until I see lines and I'll quarter it and serve it in a bread basket, just like the restaurant. Ok I think I'll also get a tabbouleh recipe. Well I found a great webpage with a terrific sounding tabbouleh recipe on it and also people wrote in with variations: TABBOULEH RECIPE

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup bulgur wheat
8 tomatoes
6 shallots
5 bunches Italian (flat-leaf) parsley
2 bunches fresh mint
Juice of 6 lemons
12 tbsp olive oil

INSTRUCTIONS
Soak the bulgur wheat for 15 minutes in some warm water with 1 tsp lemon juice. Drain well and dry in a dish towel (yes, that’s right, a dish towel). Peel and finely dice the tomatoes, and chop the shallots, parsley, and mint very finely. Combine all these ingredients with the bulgur wheat in the serving dish. Sprinkle with olive oil and lemon juice, season to taste, and leave to stand for at least 2 hours. Before serving, adjust the seasoning and stir gently, adding more lemon juice and/or olive oil if necessary.

I'm going to use my Pampered Chef chopper to cut the time on all that chopping.

Ok off to the grocery store with my list. I've been promising Jackie we'll make cupcakes so we'll get those ingredients as well. :)

Personal care products and the Bible...ramblings of the day...

2009-07-04T10:30:00.005-04:00

Ok blogging about personal care products just isn't interesting to me. I'm not going to care in 10 years what shampoo I used in 2009 when I reread my journal posts in book form. However I've noticed that you can select portions of your blog and not others for your book when I last checked on it and I just cannot keep my mouth shut in case anybody looks.

I know, I know, I am trying to go all frugal on myself, but seriously a girl has to draw the line in the sand. While I was in Utah I got sucked into a hair care infomercial that I just couldn't refuse and I have to say, as in the commercial, THIS STUFF ROCKS!!!!!!!!!! I don't cut corners with skincare or hair care.

The product is called Wen and my hair is soooooooo silky I can't even keep my own hands out of it! LOL And light and bouncy...shine...I couldn't comment. I pay for that at the salon and finish it off with a shine mister, so shine is not a selling point for me, I have that covered.

Seriously after just 1 use I could tell a humongous difference. The product looks like you are putting conditioner on your hair. It even feels heavy like a good conditioner in a way. But when I rinsed it out, and even putting the Styling Creme on the ends of my hair...my hair is so light and bouncy it's amazing. It feels like it did when I was a teenager washing mousse and a gallon of Aqua Net out of my hair. LOL!!!!! (Graduated in '89...need I say more?)

Now I wasn't using cheap hair crap in the first place of course. I am actually saving a ton by using this stuff. For me the infomercial proved literal. I guess I'm being frugal buy using this ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now if I could find a great alternative to the expensive skin care products I use...so far...nothing compares. I'll keep trying. But my skin care products are so amazing I doubt I'll have luck with that. I use Dermalogica. Actually I'm such a lier, I don't try to replace my skincare products at all. I absolutely love love love the Mulitvitamin-Thermafoliant. It's a sort of polishing cream/scrub kind of thing that warms up upon skin contact. I can't say enough about it, it totally rocks. My skin feels like a baby's butt. LOL! Now if I used all the products diligently like I'm supposed to I'd have the skin of a 20-something I'm sure of it. Just 3 days of semi-diligence and my skin is like 50% improved.

I also use Jane Iredale mineral make-up and I swear it actually improves my skin to do so.

Anyhoo. Love the new hair care stuff, for me, it's exactly as the infomercial said so I just had to share! LOL

Now I'm off to the grocery store to buy white chocolate for the most heavenly chocolate dipped strawberries you've ever tasted. And I'm also making mini cupcakes with mini-oreos that have sunflower leaves piped on and a teeny little lady bug to boot. :) I'll try to remember to take pictures. Annual 4th of July party at my brother-in-law's house. We love it, we look forward to it for months! :)

And no I'm not actually fighting the aging process by the way. I'm only 38 and can't wait to be 40. I think age rocks. So much so that I always dreamed of marrying a much older man when I was young...and I did marry a man 8 1/2 years older than myself but have absolutely no problem with any age difference if the compatibility and chemistry is there. There are no guarantees in life, you might as well enjoy the ride. No, I'm not fighting age, just trying to enjoy the ride.

And by the way, I did go to the gym yesterday. The elliptical trainer is a B*TCH! LOL But I'm definitely going to keep at it. For right now I'm headed to the track before the grocery store. Turning 40 is going to be so awesome. My goal is to look better at 40 than 20. That shouldn't be hard, I might have been a normal looks obsessed teen but I didn't actually completely succeed. LOL! Time to reverse 10 years of laziness...I really let myself go the past 10 years and now it's time to pay the fiddler. My hair is the best it's ever been, my skin still looks great...for me...time to fix the rest.

You know oddly I think that is the best part of being a Christian. Age and the passage of time is not a burden. I look forward with excited anticipation to the next life. My children know it too. Enjoying travel and being adventurous and spontaneous by nature...there is nothing about death that fills me with dread or trepidation whatsoever. I block out the pain of death from my thought process of course. I went through 24 hours of labor with no epidural, I'll get through it. A side benefit to that is that I do not fear the aging process or getting older. As confidant as I THOUGHT I was at 20, then I only thought I was fantastic, now time has proved that to be true. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well my life is fantastic. All my dreams came true, I could die tomorrow happy happy. And greet my God with a joy and elation I know I cannot fathom. Maybe that's another reason I don't fear aging. I'm not racing against the clock to achieve something. I achieved it.

I didn't even have my green tea today! No caffeine. Ahhhhhhhh but the whole time I blogged today I've been listening to Luke on my iPod...you know even if you don't pay attention there is a truth and power to the Bible that seeps into your body on a cellular level lifting you higher. I don't think I realized the power the Word of God contains is real on that tangible of a level. Hearing someone else say it's so is not the same as experiencing it. I don't bother to read or listen when I'm not trying to focus so I've never experienced this before. Hmmmm...

I have done soooooooo goooooood

2009-07-04T09:53:00.004-04:00

On being frugal. I went to Dick's Sporty Goods to buy ankle weights for Jackie, there wasn't anything there that would work so I went to the craft store and bought sand and velcro and I'll make some for her out of fleece from leftover sweats. (That will be very soft anyway.) She needs to use these while she's practicing her jumps. Just 1 week of practicing jumps and she's getting much higher off the ground. (She uses a mini-tramp to practice form.) I didn't know how she'd ever get gravity to let up a little bit. Toe touches are a pain! LOL

I went to Golf Galaxy and bought Steve Jr a golfing glove. He begged for golf shoes, and ordinarily I would have not only bought them, but bought the best ones in the store if that's what I wanted. Instead I called my mom to see what they were selling for on eBay and I'm going to give myself a month to find some at a yard sale or something before I buy some from eBay. I could get the same brand, new in box, on eBay for $25 which includes shipping, they are $40-$60 in the store. But rather than go for instant gratification I'm going to give myself a month to look at yard sales. If I ever have the time to go to yard sales! LOL. And I am going to sign up for Golf Galaxy and Dick's Sporting Goods email solicitations.

And I need to start buying the Sunday paper for the coupons. I don't want to subscribe to it, they sent a million "free trial" papers forever and I just don't have a use for all that waste. I'll help my kids make some sort of clever paper mache project out of the leftover paper. I haven't used a coupon other than Gymbucks or Children's Place in years that I can remember. I should make it a goal to NEVER go to the grocery store without at least one coupon.

I need to remove my name from the sales ads for Gap and so forth and sign up for a frugal living kind of thing. I think I'll make a shopping list of things I want to buy, not necessarily needs, wants. And I'll try to remember to look for them at yard sales and so forth. I'll keep them on my mind so I can either find ways to earn the money to pay for it myself and not out of the family budget. I always want to make myself list stuff on eBay and I never get around to it. Well I need to get around to it.

I'll turn this into a hobby. Until I get bored of it. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frugal....to be or not to be...and how do I define it?

2009-07-01T20:14:00.002-04:00

Ok when I was walking at the track today I was listening to Luke...somewhere near 11 or 12. LOL! (Does it matter if I don't know the chapter and verse when I'm practically memorizing entire passages just through repeated listening???) I always worry about the future. Well, not always, but off and on let's say. I'm a stay-at-home mom without a college degree. I might have marketable skills but to even get in the door somewhere where I'll have the potential to make a significant income I'd need that piece of paper. This is only a concern if my husband dies suddenly of course. If he lives to retirement age I'll be fine. Over the next 10 years I fully intend on taking my photography from hobby to career. But while I have kids at home being raised, that's just not realistic, the time isn't there and I worry about this from time to time.

Well today God clearly told me in 2 ways, I'm focussing on what he wants right now, and he'll take care of me. The first way is a passage in Luke. Luke 12:6-7:

6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

I know God wasn't talking about taking care of stay-at-home moms in that passage of course, but it REALLY struck me with power when I heard it this time. I know I'll be fine if something does happen to my husband, which is unlikely but things do happen.

But I do need to learn to live frugally. That would bless us in a ton of ways of course and be good practice for me.

So then I made it my goal to try to buy the kids second hand clothes for school. To learn how to be frugal. Something I never bother with. I usually order whatever I want online then go to Jackie's favorite store, which isn't expensive in the first place (The Children's Place) and buy whatever I want. But if I'm going to be super frugal then I need to take time and find things used. So I went to Goodwill and as luck (haha, it's always God) would have it today all children's clothes were $1 per piece. For $11 I bought a jean jacket, an American Girl Kit Kittridge tee that wasn't even laundered once, a perfect condition navy cotton skort for cheerleading, a white private school uniform top with an adorable peter pan collar accented with crochet on the collar and down the buttons (for her American Heritage Girls uniform), a navy private school uniform skort for the same purpose (adorable with a wide faux belt with a cute buckle), a pink Gap basic stretch cotton tee that looks like it might only have been washed twice, 2 awesome basketball practice shirts for Steve, new sweatpants for Steve and a camo Sponge Bob long sleeved tee for Steve that wasn't laundered even once. Since I didn't need anything at all, I could afford to be super picky about the brand names (quality) and condition (only buying items that are like new) of the stuff I found.

Why bother? Well to be responsible with our money of course. But this year I convinced my husband to simply stay put. I love my home and our land and our neighbors rock. Plus proximity to our parents. But since he agreed I've been thinking about some of the changes I want to make to our house and the primary thing we need to add....there is no logical place to put it. Our house was built without a garage and the only place to put it would block my bedroom view and be in front of the children's play area. No can do. So I'm thinking moving or building might be in order.

So I'm going to make an attempt to be super frugal and in one year's time either we need to get serious about moving one way or the other or we need to go ahead and build the garage. That's plan b, plan a is building or moving. And it's a buyer's market too, interest rates are low. But whatever we do, being more frugal and saving money gives us a ton of options. I'm just not good at being frugal. However people planning to buy or build have to save to spend...so I'm for sure going to try. I love my sister-in-law's school district but that is so far away from our parents. We have land to build on already and I still love it. We'll see, it's premature to consider either option. Land to sell is always good and it's optimally located. If we hang onto it until the market improves it would make a nice down payment on a new house. We'll see.

So for now, I'm going to try to live frugally. I never use coupons, buy without regard of sale items...whatever. I've gotten much better over the years about shopping but there is always room for improvement. And things rarely make someone happy regardless. We'll see. Maybe I'll be blogging about a new house in a year....

Health Menu

2009-06-30T15:13:00.004-04:00

I know!!!! I'm going to use that darling menu (previous post but here's a helpful link: IMAGES 50'S DINER MENU SEARCH) to help the kids think about their health. On the menu will be things like "cardio" and they will get to choose from bike riding, swimming, trampoline, whatever.

Then things like "relaxation" which could include yogo, a power nap, meditation etc. I'm ready for a "power nap" right now. LOL

For "brain power" they could choose from things like pleasure reading, drawing (both kids love to draw, Jackie is amazing at it, she draws every single day), other types of crafts, cooking (as in reading from a cookbook and following instructions) and so forth.

This menu thing could be very helpful. And every day they have to do something from each category we decide is important. Some categories could be 3 time a week categories. If I don't train them, they won't do it.

I think teaching the kids about literally planning for relaxation and scheduling brain power outside of school on pleasurable endeavors will help set them up for a lifetime of good mental health.

I'm going to organize their lives to the point that physical and mental health will be a routine habit, not something they have to try to squeeze in.

Now here is my normal dilemma. It's 3:25pm. I just fed the kids a snack. (They had to choose a diary and a fruit) We leave here in like 25 minutes to go to gymnastics lessons, but gymnastics ends just in time to get to cheerleading at 6:00pm. So then that goes until 7:00pm and I wanted to take them to the track (for me) and swimming afterwards. When do we squeeze dinner in? I hate making them wait to eat until 7:30pm, but they can't hardly go straight from dinner to the track. Maybe I need to get in the kitchen and think of something to pack as a dinner. Or actually a snack to tide them over after gymnastics? See this is where fast food comes in so handy. But so high in sodium, seriously PB&J for dinner would be much better than chicken nuggets. Hmmmmmmm they have eaten rather well all day. They need more veggies. I could put peanut butter in disposable ramekins with lids (bought at a restaurant supplier in mass quantity like 4 years ago...I swear this stash will last through graduation...) and pack celery with a turkey sandwich (on whole wheat) and that would for sure last them from 5:30pm-7:30pm.

If I don't teach them how to manage meals healthily in spite of a busy lifestyle who will? It's something they need to grow up learning is just part of the game of life. Eating healthily and getting in physical activity.

Mealtime and home organization....

2009-06-30T12:40:00.005-04:00

I am already thinking about the next school year. There are two things I need to improve next year in order to enjoy the year more and feel less frazzled. Mealtimes and the morning routine.

This year I am going to resolve both of those issues with habits we work to create through the summertime.

There are a few habits I want the kids to create this year:

1. I want the clothes they are wearing the next day picked out from top to bottom and put in a designated spot every night. We did pretty good at this last year but there's room for improvement.

2. I want them to be able to make nutritious breakfasts for themselves and clean up completely when they are done including putting the dirty dishes away properly in the dishwasher.

This will help me be able to focus on packing nutritious lunches for them since school lunches are jam packed with sodium and carbs...just thinking about school lunches makes me fall into an afternoon slump! LOL And get my own self ready. The kids are at this fabulous age where they are still children mentally, they want to play with toys, they still want to cuddle, they love me, I'm not the devil who is ruining their lives yet, but yet their physical abilities are leaning more towards independence. They can dress themselves, feed themselves, they even helped me pack themselves for our vacation. I can focus on me while they get themselves ready. I love this stage! The innocence and wonder of childhood without the tedium of caring for someone helpless.

So now. With the kids I want to do meal planning with nutrition in mind and create a menu for them to choose from in the morning. I want to create something cool and retro like this and hang it on the wall in the kitchen:

To teach them more about nutrition I want to create for them a sort of criteria for creating a breakfast that includes nutritional information. For example since children need 800 mg of calcium a day, basically every meal needs to include a diary and one or two snacks as well. But your body only processes so much calcium at one time so having the kids drink milk and have yogurt plus a cheese omelet would be a waste of effort, a lot of that calcium would simply be eliminated by the body as waste. And of course soft drinks that contain citric or phosphoric acid leach the calcium right back out of their bodies so if they drink pop that's a consideration too. And things like Vitamin D and Vitamin C help improve your absorption of calcium while high amounts of fiber interferes with calcium absorption. So while the kids need the fiber to feel full until lunchtime they need to adjust the other nutrients accordingly.

This all sounds so technical but it's not going to be, I'm going to make it easy. They'll have to start by picking their entree. That will determine what side dishes and beverage they get. If they want a breakfast shake they won't need to add a glass of milk for example because milk, 2 servings of fruit, and even protein via peanut butter are in my breakfast shakes. But they could add a piece of toast if they wanted. If their entree was going to be cereal then they would want a glass of orange juice (and I have small 6 oz glasses for juice) and some strawberries to help their bodies absorb more of the calcium in spite of the fiber content that might be present in their cereal.

In thinking this out what I need to come up with are maybe 10 complete breakfast options. So they don't have to think at all. Or me either. Each of the 10 options will be a complete breakfast including everything plus a multivitamin for good luck. :) Luckily I have a printer that can print up to 13x19 because this "menu" is going to be larger than 8.5x11 I think. Maybe. And this doesn't need to be difficult either and I can even take into account the kinds of cereals my kids like.

Meal planning will help me with more than just their nutritional health, they'll get more variety and I'll know what to buy at the grocery store. What I will make them do is agree in advance on the breakfasts they are going to have that week so I don't have to buy a ton of stuff that only 1 serving or so will be used from and the rest will spoil. And anything that can be done in advance will, for example in breakfast shakes the kids can easily pre-measure portions of frozen fruits into snack sized Ziplock bags so in the morning they don't have to measure, they just open and dump to make their shake. And we can practice making the shakes this summer, which would be a good healthy treat too.

I've always wanted to create a family cookbook, maybe I'll work on that this year. Like a Snapfish book or something.

After I organize their breakfast options I need to organize my dinners as well. We ate out TONS last year because we are always on the run. I need to circumvent that through advance planning. And after school snacks need a plan. I'm determined. And you know what? Whatever effort I go to in order to organize meals and snacks...that will last me the next 10 years. It's only hard once creating the plan. Then whenever we're bored I can spend time tweaking. Breakfasts can be boring, many people don't rotate through 10 different meals for breakfasts. Cereal or oatmeal reigns in this house with the occasional eggs and whatnot mixed in. I never get tired of Honey Nut Cheerios with blueberries on top. Dinners...if I can start by creating 10 of those then I'm only repeating once a month. I don't count weekends. My husband is home and loves to cook.

Photos, Photos, Gimme a Break!

2009-06-29T14:49:00.003-04:00

Ok my Mac has been acting like a PC lately and so I decided maaaaaybe it's time to get some of my over 78,000 pictures onto an external hard drive. Turns out all I did have to do was plug the thing in and now this is my new favorite hobby. I am down to 72,220 pictures on my Mac now and the pictures I'm dumping onto the external hard drive are completely organized by person, subject, event and year. It's awesome. When I want to gather pictures for any particular subject matter it's going to be easy to do. Already my computer is acting soooooooo much better. I focussed on the picture files like weddings which I shot in RAW (huge file size) and had like 800 pictures shot that way. Plus their copies that have been manipulated in Photoshop. I also did our Disney cruise, there were 32 video files from our camcorder I took off the computer! That helped a ton I bet.

I have even bigger plans than this though. Once I'm done with the pictures on my Mac, then I have some old hard drives from past computers I need to get too and organize those. Then when that is completed I want to start scanning in pictures from various events and places where I've received photos. Dance studio pictures, sports team, whatnot...all those pictures floating around that I didn't take with my own cameras.

Then when that is done I want to start scanning in the pictures I took from before I even met my husband. There are tons of pictures to scan.

Scrap writing a screenplay. My new hobby is going to be organizing my pictures. I'll organize my pictures then move onto writing. I already have half a dozen other hobbies I enjoy. I am the most perfectly self contained person I know of.

It feels so good to have something organized. I need to organize something every day, just for my emotional well being. I helped Jackie clean part of her room yesterday, we organized all of her American Girl doll clothes and accessories. I bought one of those over-the-door shoe holders that holds 12 pair of shoes in clear plastic pockets and she's stuffing shoes, socks and accessories into all the pockets. It's fabulous, she can see everything and everything has a place.

A Little More Photoshop Fun

2009-06-28T01:31:00.002-04:00

Loved this picture...just a little more photoshop fun, could be done better but so what. ;)

Utah Trip 2009

2009-06-27T22:20:00.004-04:00

Ok I whittled almost 1,200 pictures down to just under 800 and here are my faves. And you can get rid of the sound by clicking on the little speaker icon...

Trying to learn a new Photoshop trick...

2009-06-27T21:16:00.013-04:00

I want to learn how to take a picture and make it look like an oil painting in Photoshop. I've been online looking up different ways of doing it and I have never been able to get the results the tutorials I've come across demonstrate so I'm wondering if there is some rule of thumb to the type of pictures that look good with this particular type of treatment. Here is the picture I want to turn into something more artistic:

That picture obviously needs some adjustments, but that's minor. By the way the birthmark on Jackie's shoulder...she thinks that is the mark of a true princess thanks to some Barbie video. LOL Of course we support that belief.

A few minor adjustments later:

Following this tutorial exactly: http://www.photoshopessentials.com/photo-effects/oil-painting/index.php

I got this:

Obviously not what I was going for.

A little more tweaking, but still no cigar:

I took that with my Mother's Day gift, the newest version of the Canon Powershot. I love it, it's sleek and red to boot but it takes great video too, I'm never tempted to lug along a camcorder.

Another shot at the technique with a picture of a lamp post I took:

Original....

With adjustments...

This without the "canvas" filter...(best I think)...

Here's a picture I took with my phone that I doctored up a tad. This type of picture worked better with the adjustments. I wonder if faces don't do well in translation? Hmmmm. Click on the pictures to see the large versions, the picture I doctored up I think looks pretty cool (though not spectacular) with these adjustments.

If you are into baking cakes...

2009-06-27T00:00:00.003-04:00

You need to try the buttercream recipe I just added to my cake blog! It was DELICIOUS. Creamy and smooth, no aftertaste from the Crisco, I've tried and tweaked a ton of recipes on the hunt for THE BUTTERCREAM recipe to save in my files and this might be it! I'm going to try one last variation, making buttercream out of clarified butter and skipping the Crisco altogether, but I don't know the melting point of clarified butter and can't find it on the internet believe it or not. It has a higher smoke point than even sesame oil and I use it for pancakes when I'm feeling generous and have the time to make it.

Seriously everybody raved about this recipe. Even my buttercream-hating husband. He usually scrapes it right off and he made a point of telling me how delicious he thought it was.

I judge a good buttercream based on taste/texture/aftertaste and this recipe ROCKED! HEHE And held up to a party in 85.5 degree weather with 59% humidity. Ugh...Ohio in June...........

My son asked me....

2009-06-25T18:56:00.002-04:00

Ok to set the stage he's trying to design a new class of cars, hovercrafts.

"Mom if there were to be a vacuum that had pipes that led to things that blew out the air and had to lift the weight of a car, how fast would that vacuum have to spin?"

He was trying to describe the construction of the engine to me. You know how it sounds when someone is speaking another language only you don't realize they are actually speaking another language until you realize you've listened to an entire conversation or sentence and you don't know a thing they said? That was what it was like listening to him ask me this question about the strength of a vacuum system in the engine of a car that had the power to elevate the car via spinning vacuums. I didn't even say that right. There's no way I actually got his question right either by the way.

Does he watch too many MythBusters episodes or is it me? He's thinking this is a question for his father. Um yeah, try asking your father. LOL He's on the phone asking his father right now. And I hear that my husband is sidestepping the question by asking about the weights of various cars...why didn't I think of that?

He's treating me like an idiot because I don't know how to spell accelerator. Well I must have gotten it right because the tell tale wavy red line is not under the word. LOL!!!!!

And I had another happy parenting moment the other day. While my husband and I were watching Deadliest Catch (sexy pirates, remember? One of them has a flashy thing on his blog that says "Pirates...they put the 'Naughty' in nautical" LOL...well I digress again...) my son was reading a book about dragons. And he was telling me geographically on a world map where the dragons could be found. The impressive part is that the map wasn't labeled and still he knew. Phew! So many things I've tried to teach him that didn't seem to be sinking in no matter how hard I tried...geography was one of them.

My little daughter is in her room wearing a bikini top and baby blanket tied like a sarong dancing when she's supposed to be cleaning and my son is designing cars of the future. To each their own.

I'm Salivating...

2009-06-25T17:03:00.005-04:00

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to go to this conference. Love love love love love. But that is one of my busiest times of the year. We shall see, I'll see what I can do.

http://www.photoshopworld.com/

3 days of classes that marry photography and photoshop sound like my personal idea of heaven. I never never never get tired of it. When you read my blog and I say "working in Photoshop" or anything related to "work" and "photoshop" I don't mean I get paid to do anything. Hardly. I guess I could substitute "play" for "work" and the meaning would be the same for me. Plus, what do I do that I get money for? My husband wishes. Right now I'm busy raising perfect children, I'll get to the business of making him rich later.

Mandalay Bay is ok, that's where the conference is. I've never been tempted to stay there. I don't mean to imply that I am a Vegasaficionado or anything. They do have my favorite children's clothing store in that casino though (Oilily). I'm just pretty hard pressed to want to gamble my money.

I don't really enjoy it unless it's a situation where my husband and I are spending several hours around a black jack table with stogies and [for him] Jack and Coke and [for me] a vodka and Sprite. We played for hours on like $200 in a cigar bar on a cruise ship once, that was the best time I ever had gambling. But we would have spent $200 on dinner and a movie too so the gambling money I considered to be the same as evening entertainment money. Nothing I lost in 5 minutes in a slot machine. Frankly I think we only walked out of there down $50 anyway...or maybe we won a little? It wasn't impressive either way which added to the enjoyment of evening, no huge loss.

The last time I went to Vegas my favorite memories involved extra dirty vodka martinis and my Louis Vuitton purse which I bought with my gambling money. I think I put a total of $15 in the slot machines that trip, my money went to improve capitalism just a bit. There is something about a city that never sleeps that appeals to me. Last night I simply could not make myself get to sleep before 4:00am, so in Vegas where the time difference works further in my favor...I'm in heaven.

Hmmmm what to do what to do....I'll have to give it some thought. Maybe I'll set goals and if I achieve them I'll reward myself with this conference. Well and I could go to the next one. It just never occurred to me to attend this until I went to a recent photography/photoshop conference near home and came away satisfied because I only learned a few new tricks. Not to mean I'm an expert...but it was very nice to hear the pros teach concept after concept that I already use. And I know the conference was geared towards the prosumer of course, not educated professionals I'm sure. I mean, the guy was demoing on my own camera so how advanced could the conference have meant to be? :)

Time to practice, that's my problem.

Right now my newest fascination is figuring out how to create a fairly decent replica of an oil painting in Photoshop. I had my husband hang 9 frames and he suggested I use 1 image like a collage and fill all the frames with the pieces to 1 larger image. And would you believe it the next day my daughter, the 8 year old art genious, suggested the same thing??????? How did she even know to think like that? I really need to direct her gift more....

Anyhoo so now I'm composing the perfect image in my mind of my children on a local beach. Not posed, I don't like the posed pictures like my Blog image. I took that. Those are for memories only, just to snap a moment in time really. I like the accidental beautiful pictures that are natural and light is my favorite subject to play with. And I want to turn this fabulous picture (ha ha! I'm not that good but where natural instincts seem to fail me in posing subjects, determination and diligence will do the job) into something that looks like an oil painting and frame it in 9 separate 11x14 frames that are already hanging with other black and whites. And the living room wall is a bold grass green, that color was never meant to be a focal point in the room, but rather a canvas. My son has the perfect outfit for the picture, I ordered Jackie the perfect outfit for the picture and I need to give Candy's outfit some thought. I have some ideas.

My son is wearing a white linen looking shirt and I'll roll the sleeves. He has some casual kind of pants from Children's Place that are khaki colored and can roll up and button. I'm tossing around the idea of a newsboy hat or a fedora or nothing really if his hair is grown out, he has fabulous hair.

Jackie is wearing a light pink ruffled top, a light pink and antique white pettiskirt and light pink little bo peep style pettipants. I'll curl her hair and pin ribbons that sort of hang out of it all over maybe. I saw the perfect hair for my picture in Us Magazine. http://www.pettiskirtstyle.com/

Candy. I was thinking of getting her a long white beachy kind of cover-up dress and a big beach hat. Chunky clear or white jewelry. We'll see. I have to get the dress before I can accessorize it.

Bare feet for all.

And I don't want them really looking at the camera. I was thinking of having Candy sit with her legs to the side kind of leaning towards Jackie. She'll be kissing Jackie's head who is leaning up against her facing away toward's Steve who will be standing up skipping rocks or pretending to. She'll be watching Steve. Nobody's face really showing. I want to see kids relaxing on the beach not smiled poses. Maybe Candy should be holding a book in her hand reading and Jackie laying in her lap picking petals off a daisy while Steve skips rocks? He doesn't even have to be in focus. See I struggle to think it out. I'll spend several hours Googling "beach family photos" for ideas before we trek down to the water.

Maybe I need to look at old paintings since I'm going to turn the images into something that looks like a painting. We'll see. Time to fix the hair for cheerleading. It's raining but the coach hasn't called to cancel so away we go. :)

Halleluyer....

2009-06-25T01:57:00.003-04:00

My mother-in-law got an old picture of my husband out at Steve Jr's age. My kids have his hair color at that age EXACTLY. That means my dreams of black haired children (very very dark brown actually) will likely come true. :) They certainly don't have my hair, Jackie has more hair than a rubber band will hold and I was a blond until I started having children. But most things can be bought, I'm still a blond....My brother-in-law had hair just a tad darker than my son's in high school and his is black now too, I remember that.

Proud Mommy Moment

2009-06-25T01:51:00.003-04:00

My son walked out of Transformers II because he said it was too inappropriate. I wasn't with him, his grandparents and aunt were. Bummer for them, I would have made him stay ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!! How bad could it be? I'll know firsthand soon enough.

But 17 Again...wow that is my new favorite comedy. Ok they added a teeny little subplot that was just genious, the screenwriter...I need to look up his other movies. Or hers, ahem. If you ever watched Reno 911 or The Office, they got Lt. Dangle and Jan into a little plot of their own and it was HYSTERICAL. When they were in a restaurant and started speaking Elvish (is that a word? Lord of the Rings...I guess I'm a LOTR nerd that I recognized the language immediately) I about fell out of my chair laughing it was so great. And kudos to Zac he pulled that roll off in spades. I always like the gal who played the wife.

I created the coolest playlist...

2009-06-25T01:47:00.002-04:00

I'm working on deleting unnecessary pictures from my Utah trip and I'm listening to the playlist I created for Candy's grad party...I swear I have the best taste in music ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It plays for 3.5 hours then repeats.

Fortunately self esteem is nothing I've ever struggled with. hahaha!

To Do

2009-06-25T01:03:00.002-04:00

Plan out Al & Lisa's anniversary cake and get it done today

Fold and put away 3 loads of laundry

Walk the track 2 laps

Listen to audio Bible

Set the timer for 30 minutes and clean in the office

List 3 things on eBay

To Do...Or Not To Do...Whichever Case Applies...

2009-06-24T23:33:00.005-04:00

Jackie is showing some amazing talent in art and I need to figure out what's a mom to do when she discovers one of her kids has a special talent? She was watching Tom and Jerry cartoon and she literally recreated a freehand drawing of Tom attacking Jerry and it looked like an accurate line drawing (is that right? Who knows this puts me way out of my depth here...), I was just stunned. When we got home she drew Jerry mouse looking at a heart and on the other side of the heart she drew a mirror image Jerry mouse also looking at the heart. Then colored it in of course, she's been coloring like crazy since she could hold a crayon. So what do I do? I told her to get good grades and she could grow up to be an art teacher, that set her off, she started drawing and drawing, she got so excited. Art videos? Drawing books? Should I look for classes? I don't have time for classes, she's too busy with dance, gymnastics and cheerleading, but art might be her life, cheerleading won't. What's a mom to do? So make a plan, that's what I need to do right now. Teaching art is good but there might be other careers I wouldn't have thought of.

Anyhoo (and my husband laughed so hard that he couldn't even looked me in the eyes when I said this) I know I need another hobby like Alaska needs ice, but I want to try writing a screenplay. For fun, not to sell or even ever share really. I am such a Monday morning quarterback when I see movies I want to test myself to see if I can really do better. And one of my favorite books has never been written as a screenplay. No hints, I won't say a peep. But I found software online that looks like it rocks. If I get a couple chapters written I'm buying it. But without it I don't know how to go about it. What do I do to let him know I'm serious? He said no to what amounts to $200 software, just who does he think he is? LOL Well. All men have a "yes button" and I know his. tisk tisk.

By the way my daughter's boyfriend just texted me, he wants a Vodka martini shaken not stirred when he turns 21 in November. He's a bond FREAK. I mean that in the nicest way. I said "gimme a break. I know I'm old and decrepit but if you expect me to think you haven't had a drink before...you might as well try to sell me some land in Florida. Sell crazy somewhere else, we're all full here." What exactly was that line in the movie? Ahhhhhhh "sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here" Jack Nicholson rocks.

This To Do list thing isn't working out for me tonight is it? 1 Diet Coke and the caffeine has me buzzing, I can't concentrate.

He texted me back...he wants two drinks and could I guess the other? Why yes actually I could. I Googled "James Bond Drinks" and Vesper Martini came up.

I've discovered I have over 78,000 pictures on this Mac and it's finally starting to act like a PC. I had to hard restart it twice in 2 days' time when working in Photoshop. So I told my husband, "go buy me a hard drive so I can get these pictures off the computer." He does and he puts the box on the desk. What am I supposed to do with that? Sure looks pretty. Does it have Bluetooth or something? Does he REALLY want me installing something or hooking something up to his precious computer? And a hard drive is the right thing to start with? It says "creative power for Mac" on the box. That's promising. It has 1 TB of storage space. That'll do for starters. It's just for photos. Of course I'm smart enough to figure this out but if I start figuring this out I'll have to install everything he buys for me and that leads to me being the one losing my life to customer support calls, no can do. Women's lib is for the birds.

I took about 1,200 pictures on my Utah vacation this year. That's how this gets out of hand. I think I've added another 300 since I've been home in fact. An underwater camera adds so many possibilities! LOL

Ok enough of relaxation...

2009-06-24T22:46:00.006-04:00

I can't stand it when I don't have plans. Everybody says I'm too busy but when I don't have a To Do list I seriously do nothing. I came home from vacation and watched 2 episodes of The Bachelorette, 1 Food Network Challenge and when my husband came home from work 2 Deadliest Catch (those pirates are sexy hehe!)

By the way the promo people are sleeze balls. They showed a rescue helicopter going to the Cornelia Marie (one of the ships) and when the episode aired it ended up being a mechanic they had flown in to fix the engine...someone needs to walk the plank! And they showed Sig almost having a heart attack. I couldn't sleep! I had to Google it to see if Sig came out alive and if the Cornelia Marie did indeed sink!!! I was too tired to realize that something as devastating as that would have been news long before the season aired. But I was too brain dead after all that TV.

So I took Jackie and Kelsey to the playground while Candy and I did a lap around the track (a track where we can see the playground almost the whole time). I'm not virtuous, I had a Big Mac meal and I haven't had one of those in forever. I might not have eaten all the fries but who at 38 can afford a Big Mac meal? LOL Not me.

That will just have to be my hobby this summer. My health and also I need to list a bunch of stuff on eBay since I never really have time for a yard sale.

Something around this computer smells like paint thinner or nail polish remover...I need to see what's going on....

Oh no worries. Every year I go to Utah my husband buys a ton of junk food and something unexpected. Last year it was a mandolin and a deep fryer because he wanted to make french fries. This year I come home to a Homedics air revitalizer. We already have air purifiers. The "citrus" smells like lysol and the scent he just now put in smells like a urinal cake up close. How do I know what a urinal cake smells like? Well I've never been accused of being shy, lets leave it at that.

I need to get online and see if any of the 30 or 40 essential oils I already own can be used in this thing. I love scent, I know I've previously mentioned my addiction to scent but I love scent. I wear perfume 365 days a year, burn candles in the summer, have a car full Yankee Car Scents things...the list goes on and on. For my daughter's party I made sure to put a Sun and Sand air freshener spray in the beach theme bathroom as well as his and hers mini cologne bottles to enjoy (only the ladies were used). I've been known to approach strange men to ask about their cologne. And great cologne is like beer goggles for me, seriously.

Saved by some guy who rated this product on Amazon...here's his recipe:

"I borrowed/modified this from a perfumers recipe for making a spray-able air freshener with essential oils.

1/4 teaspoon Polysorbate 80 (an emulsifier derived from natural oils). You can get this from a soap maker's supply store.

30-60 drops essential oils, some oils are stronger, experiment for the best amount for your choice. I used 30 drops of pine needle oil and that worked fine for me.

1 tablespoon of cheap vodka (or low smell alcohol). This is optional but I found the oil's scent was more intense with it."

Back to creating a new "To Do" list next. That will be a separate post because I actually do print them and work on checking them off.

Cheerleading

2009-06-24T01:29:00.002-04:00

Jackie has to learn how to do a toe touch for her "hello cheer" in cheerleading and I found a good example on YouTube of course, plus lots of instructional vids, but this girl did a good clean toe touch:

I've Been Busy!!!!!

2009-06-22T15:07:00.003-04:00

Well Candy's grad party was fabulous, she loved it and that's what mattered most. The weather was absolutely perfect, warm enough to be comfortable in shorts, cool enough we weren't eaten by bugs and no rain!

Our Utah trip was great this year, the girls are growing so much! Ava gets to go to a Chinese immersion school next year, half her school day will be in Chinese. I told her to send me an eggroll when she learned how to make them. LOL

Our road trip back was fabulous. Mt Rushmore was beautiful, the drive on I-90 is stunning through every state and of course we loved American Girl Chicago. We drove through Chicago because when you take 1-90 you have to and also for Brickworld an adult Lego convention. Steve Jr was in heaven!

I'll create a slideshow when I weed through all my pictures. Brickworld was truly amazing, Steve is on a mission now, he wants to be a contributer next year and have a table there. We'll see. :)

I slept until 11:30am (9:30am Utah time which my body is on) and then shopped online and cleared out my in box.

Now I need to unpack, get things ready for dinner, recharge the battery to the underwater camera so the kids can play with it at Meme's pool tonight, call and confirm piano lessons and come up with a new To-Do list! :)

Saturday Morning 36 hour countdown...

2009-06-06T10:03:00.003-04:00

As I lay in bed this morning gently waking up thinking about taking the kids to piano while I shop for the last of the smaller items I needed I thought about my day and mentally worked out different scenarios for what I think would work best...

Here's my to-do list while I'm thinking of it...

I think it's going to be too hot for Mac-n-Cheese so skip that. It's definitely a warm comfort food.

I need to make the pasta salad today, the earlier the better. *DONE*

I need to make the last cheesecake today.

I need to decorate all 3 cheesecakes and put them in the fridge.

I need to assemble the fondant bows and set them aside. They go on last minute.

I need to buy perfume bottles for the front bathroom. *DONE*

I need to figure out my printer and print pictures for the 7 remaining frames. Pics were previously Photoshopped and ready to print but I had to buy black ink yesterday.

I'd LIKE to print pictures for a small Senior Pictures brag book I bought at Hallmark.

I need to set up the games area outside. *ALMOST DONE*

I need to set up the food table. *DONE*

We really need about 2 hours for the back deck, we won't be back there but I can't leave it like it is.

I need to finish the laundry.

I need to pack for my 2 week trip to Utah.

I need to clean the dining room still.

And my bedroom.

I need to buy a helium tank for the balloons I bought. *DONE*

I need to buy wall sconces for the living room. *COULDN'T FIND ANY*

I need a new hamper for my bedroom. *COULDN'T FINE ONE I LIKE*

I might want to string rope lighting under the front and side decks. Saw that on HGTV. LOL *ROPE LIGHTING SOLD OUT*

We need to bury Elvis, one of Jackie's hamsters died yesterday, it was sick. I told her when we bought them they only live about 1-2 years, she already knows she wants a guinea pig when Bootjack dies, but so far he's healthy.

I'll add to this later if needed. Right now I'll print it and get the kids to piano.

OK it's later...11:55pm. I bought a new shower curtain, ironed it, and hung it. Bought and opened the pretty little perfume bottles and put them to the left of the roses with the little cologne bottles to the right of the roses. That bathroom is beautiful.

The food table is all set up on the deck complete with table cloth and table skirt, chaffing pans are all set up and assembled and 1 of the beverage dispensers is set up even. I tried out the Bose docking station with Candy's playlist, it's fabulous. Steve and my dad hung the outdoor movie screen and Candy and her boyfriend did a run-through with Quantum of Solace tonight, so that all works perfectly and is all set up. The tent is set up all the tables are set up. There is still a ton to do but the key things to do....done! I'm saving things like blowing up balloons and hanging garland for last because I have relatives coming to help and if I get bogged down that is the perfect stuff for them to do so that's last. Our neighbor came over and set up the corn hole game for us. The kids weeded and mulched and also weeded the brick walk path. That Weed Be Gone stuff works fast, I sprayed it last night, today all the weeds were dead and yellow and ready to be pulled! I also set up a small table with first aid items, but spray, a big first aid kit...all the essentials you know. I need to get liquid spray bandage and hand sanitizer out there. Tomorrow!

I'm having too much fun...

2009-06-05T22:22:00.008-04:00

Party planning. I need to throw more parties, that's all there is to it.

So right now I'm putting tons of attention into the details in the one room in my house I know most of my guests will find their way to....the bathroom. It's Friday, party is Sunday evening, and the bathroom is almost perfection.

I bought a new shower curtain liner 3 weeks ago so the new plastic smell would have time to dissipate. I bought new silver hooks today and 2 bunches of some kind of fluffy small roses that almost favor a carnation but the whole bathroom now smells like roses...well I cut those short and filled one of the low ball glasses from my barware with water and flower food, they'll all be blooming well by Sunday night. 2 bunches of the roses filling a low ball glass make for a very fluffy and full arrangement and I even love the green stems for color showing through the crystal clear glass. I might keep fresh roses in that bathroom. Or buy some fake ones to put in there.

I filled a ramekin with mints, the kind you find in restaurants to freshen your breath. I also put 3 mini-cologne bottles (not the sample sized ones, the small ones you buy in packs of 5) in there but need to buy mini-perfume bottles for the girls.

I dumped out the orange hand soap and filled that bottle blue soap which goes with the subtle ocean theme of the bathroom. It's not nautical with starfish and so forth, the tub, pedestal sink and toilet are almond, the walls are light cream, and the toilet topper and shower curtain are white. Accents are silver. It's a very small bathroom so the medicine cabinet and toilet topper are very tall to take advantage of the height in the bathroom and draw the eye up. The pedestal sink also gives the illusion of more space, and with the tall medicine cabinet and toilet topper I have no need of under the sink storage. That's also why the color scheme is so light and similar. Lighter colors create the illusion of space and yet all white would be too sterile. No patterns, nothing to cause a distraction. The color comes from brightly colored photographs I took while on a cruise. Framed in distressed white wood frames. I pay a little bit of attention when I watch HGTV. ;)

Anyhoo. I gathered all the first aid supplies I thought a party goer might need and put them on one prominent shelf in my medicine cabinet. Checked all the expiration dates, had to throw out 2 (non essential) bottles, the rest don't expire til 2010.

I washed off the picture frames to make sure they are thoroughly dusted. Bought a new bath mat, the old one had been washed to threads and had to go.

I made a relaxing classical music playlist for my bathroom.

I also put a magazine holder in there for the party, we don't usually keep magazines in there. And in the magazine holder I put a copy of Candy's birth-18 photo album and her 12 years of Girl Scouting photo album as well. I also created a small bright green sign which I'll hang above the sink where it's discreet unless you are sitting to let guests know her photo books are there, and also that the medicine cabinet has first aid items.

So I didn't go with my first choice of rigging the medicine cabinet with marbles for probing eyes. I was tempted. But I might still put a plastic spider in there somewhere....nah....

I don't want a candle burning in an unattended bathroom where there will be children. Too tempting. And I opted not to fill a basket with first aid supplies because I didn't want children to pop something they shouldn't have. Adults can read or would think to check the medicine cabinet.

So I need to do 4 more things and the bathroom will be complete. Buy some mini perfumes from the drugstore and put them by the mini colognes in the bathroom. Put a step stool for children. Hang another picture I took from my cruise.

OHHHH and I better scrub my plunger and put it in there behind the toilet. That's not something a guest wants to come ask me for any more than tampons. Which I put in a plastic cup in the medicine cabinet as well. No detail left undone you know. *wink*

There are fresh red roses (Candy's school colors are red and gray) in the living room. I'm tempted to tie the vase with a gray polka dot ribbon and put it by the display with her school things. Maybe.

I moved the fresh pink roses to my teapot. For some reason I've been buying flowers at the grocery store and putting them all over.

I also washed and took the winter coats to storage, had my comforter dry cleaned, emptied and completely organized all the junk on top of my refrigerator. Pulled as much off the walls as I could in my small kitchen.

We stained the front deck. Which led to replacing the side deck. Which led to buying new shutters for the windows. And now we see we should replace the gables. Next summer. LOL!

I still have to get the kids to mulch the front and side flower beds. I sprayed weed killer on the grass growing between the bricks on our side walk path. I'll get the kids to pull the weeds tomorrow when they're dead.

I bought a black wire butterfly and black wire dragonfly which my husband attached to our side wall (outside) for whimsical interest. I also added these really cool whimsical colored glass votive holders in the front flower beds. When you light the candles, the glass, which has things like butterflies, dragonflies and bees imprinted, glows. That will be sweet at night. I hung a glass flower wind chime as well.

We still need to set up the outdoor movie screen. Tomorrow the guy is coming to mow the grass then we'll set up the tents and tables.

2 of Candie's 3 cakes are done. Actually they are in the fridge thawing so I can ice them and decorate them. On Wednesday night I made red and gray fondant loops to make loopy bows for the toppers. They're already dry enough to decorate with but the last time I made the bow loops I only gave them 2 days and in spite of the fact that most directions say 1 day is enough, in Ohio's humidity that wasn't enough. For this I took no chances. i won't need to use the loops until tomorrow night and I could use them right now if I needed.

Steve bought the food from Sam's tonight. I haven't thrown a party this big (at my home) ever so I don't know what I'm going to have left to do on Sunday but any family member who offered to help, I said yes and asked them to come early. In spite of my best laid plans I am sure there will be plenty to do.

The ice is all made, I have more than I need in gallon sized ziplock bags ready to go for whatever I need.

Our neighbors have offered their driveways. One of our neighbors will be setting up their corn hole game in our yard for us. The yard games are in a tub which I scrubbed and had Steve drill holes for drainage in. I bought a gadget that goes under planters to allow any rain water to drain out. It's ugly but I don't have time or desire to buy something more matchy. Part of the problem is that I don't know what that would be.

I need to make signs so people know they can park in the neighbor's driveways....

And the Thank You cards with one of Candy's grad pictures arrived from Snapfish today. They have zebra print and hot pink on them which she chose for her 18th birthday cake colors.

I have a Bose iPod docking station which puts out a great amount of sound, perfect for outdoors. And Bose is best. I now have a 7 hour playlist for Candy's party. I hope all the music is kid friendly, I tried to look up lyrics for anything I didn't remember well, if not, I'm blaming my husband for putting it on our iTunes in the first place. >:)

I should throw more parties. I love this! : )

IF YOU LOVE DIGITAL SLR CAMERAS

2009-05-28T23:55:00.006-04:00

Have I got a new cheap toy for you to check out: http://store.garyfonginc.com/puf-01.html

I love photography, I was supposed to be making headway on a "To Do" list for my daughter's graduation party but although the house still looks treacherous I did get one huge thing accomplished, I took senior pictures of Candy in 3 locations like I'd planned and the pictures turned out great!

I did one with her cap and gown and diploma book at various locations in and around the high school.

The following is the picture on her grad party Thank You cards:

One in her Girl Scout uniform in front of the historical building where the Girl Scouts have a room dedicated to them. We had our meetings there for years.

And the final location was her in her Culinary Team uniform in front of the vocational school she attended for 11th and 12th grades.

Now I just need to get her dolled up and take some "pretty" pictures and put her in a casual shirt and get some casual pictures. Then I'll be done. So that was a great accomplishment.

I even did the things I couldn't have afforded to pay someone else to do. Most photographers will remove zits and make slight modifications with lighting. But the wouldn't go to the effort to do the following I'm sure without me spending a pretty penny, and with good reason of course. Check out these originals:

Did you spot all the changes? :)

Bonus? The signs with interchangeable lettering at both schools still says "congrats" to this years graduates and the schools were empty of students and people. I can't wait to see the pictures, looking at my own pictures is to me like opening a present. I love it. Every time. My Mac tells me (and therefore unfortunately my husband) how many images are on our computer....over 77,000. Yes, 3 zeros. For a hobbyist. For a wanna-be pro or something that would be like a couple months I guess. But for a mom with decent camera I think that's a lot!

Good Organizing Tip for loose papers in the car

2009-05-28T13:57:00.002-04:00

http://www.marthastewart.com/good-things/car-organizer?xsc=eml_org_2009_05_28

Someone else suggested including a camera...but most cell phones have great cameras in them nowadays.

Itchy Sunburn

2009-05-28T12:40:00.003-04:00

Well it's that time of year again and my medicine cabinet isn't prepared...somewhere I have a recipe for a natural healing lotion to keep in the fridge all summer for sun burns but right now I don't know where it is I just remember to use white vinegar and I also put Gold Bond medicated.

Poor Steve went swimming with no sunblock (not with me of course) and he burns so easily, frankly even with sunblock, that I sometimes even make him wear swim shirts when he's swimming between 11:00am-4:00pm. After 4:30pm I only block the kids under their eyes and after 5:00pm-5:30pm depending on how cloudy I don't bother at all.

Well Steve's back burn went from red to now itchy...it's not even peeling...yet. At first I just gave him Ibuprofen because that blocks something. I'm going to research and make this post more scientific so I know the "why's" but for now, Gold Bond Medicated itch cream helped for about 1/2 hour. Not a winner. I did apply white vinegar. I think apple cider would have been better, wonder if I have some.

He's laying on the couch now with a gallon sized ziplock bag of ice on his back (double bagged) to relieve the itch.

TO DO TODAY

2009-05-28T11:55:00.002-04:00

My To Do lists do help me, I print them out and tape them to my laundry room door which is off my kitchen.

Today I am going to focus on just a few things:

Make 2 of Candy's grad party cheesecakes

Fold and put away all the laundry I have been washing

Launder Steve's bedding and make him make his bed

Type up positive statements I want Steve to read to himself every morning and night.

Type up 1 simple positive sentence to put on the kids' bathroom mirror.

As I work on those things I will also continue emptying the house of yard sale items and whatnot but those are my three "big goals" for today. Time to print.

Peeling Hard Boiled Eggs

2009-05-28T11:42:00.001-04:00

I am so gonna try this!!!!!!!!!

I'll let you know how it goes.

Sadly for my son...he's a lot like me

2009-05-24T12:34:00.003-04:00

Some of my son's worst character flaws he inherited from dear 'ole mom. Now how in the world do I help him overcome character flaws I myself have never overcome?

We had a long talk about it last night. I did explain to him that there are certain things about my personality that I hate about myself. I want better for him. I don't want him to end up making some of my mistakes and living the way I live in certain areas. I know that I'm trying to make him be better than he sees from my example but I tried to explain in terms he could understand why that had to be. I think he was able to understand it to a certain degree, but he's just a child so not fully I know.

You know some things I have struggled with all of my life. And as a busy mom with kids running in every direction the thought of carving out time to correct certain character flaws makes me want to scream. Motivational books or whatnot. Who knows what it takes to change yourself completely when you are talking about changing who you are on a core level.

Like if you are a night owl and need to be a morning person. How do you do that? I wish I could. How could I force myself to go to bed at like 10:00pm every night and get up at like 5:00am or 6:00am since I am most productive in the mornings? If I went to bed at 10:00pm I would lose all of my personal time. The thought of not being able to have my "me time" makes me insane. I have so many commitments I need time to decompress every day. But getting more sleep and being on a regular sleep schedule would help my health, my weight, my mental clarity, my stress, my ability to cope with irritations in the home or frustrations outside the home...maybe I need to work on my sleep habits first.

They say if you do something for 30 days in a row it becomes a habit. 10:00pm is too early, I'll shoot for 11:00pm. Right now it's between 3:00am-4:00am that I get to sleep and yet I have to get up in the mornings so 11:00pm is going to feel like torture at night but heaven in the morning.

Tonight I'll start by making sure the kids are ready for bed at 8:30pm so they can be in bed by 9:00pm sharp. If they are in bed then I still have 2 hours of "me time" which might satisfy me. At least I could still watch Dancing With The Stars or The Bachelorette or something mindless once a week! LOL Or Food Network Challenge, that's a good one. I watch that all the time. I don't even know when that's on because I watch it after it's been recorded.

So first change I need to make: Bedtime at 11:00pm. After I have success on this goal for 13 out of 15 days I'll create another goal. I give myself freedom to break bedtime if I go out for the evening, date night or something. The bedtime is for those nights when I am simply at home having a normal evening.

Uncrustables

2009-05-21T10:36:00.003-04:00

I made 10 crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for party (freezer food is getting done early) but I left them in the freezer uncovered overnight so my kids get to eat these.

Actually I put one in a lunch box and 1 just sitting on the counter and I'll eat it myself in a few hours to see how it thaws. I'm going to try to make Uncrustables so I can use healthier bread and jelly with less sugar. Not low sugar for the party, though I did use wheat bread. I notice a lot of kids that come over don't like to eat my heathy stuff! LOL

So anyhoo I made the sandwiches, cut them out with a circle cutter that was the right size for the bread, and after freezing them I put them on Press-N-Seal plastic wrap so I could basically seal them with no air so they keep fresher. That won't be necessary for the party, I'll just use one of those ziplock bags that you can suck the air out of, but the Press-N-Seal wrap enabled me to seal them individually because I just cut them apart between the sandwiches.

Anything I can do to make packing lunches quicker, I'll do it. I don't pack lunches all the time but Jackie likes to sit by a certain friend who always packs.

I'll let you know how the sandwiches taste.

6/2 Update: Ok! Truth be told the sandwich tasted pretty good after thawing on the counter for 2 hours! Now I need to make them and carefully suck out the air and freeze them while they are fresh, forget pre-freezing. I'll be careful with them until they are frozen. One less thing to worry about! :) The inside of the sandwich was great, I could not tell it had been frozen. The only giveaway was the bread being slightly dry.

CLEANING AND PREP FOR GRADUATION

2009-05-20T13:07:00.011-04:00

Having a party is always a good motivator for getting junk out of your house and deep cleaning areas you only get to a few times a month or even year. Since it is so satisfying to see a long list of things accomplished I am going to continuously add to this post as I get things ready for Candy's graduation.

* I washed the ceiling fan blades with white vinegar water.

* I washed the piano including the piano bench from top to bottom including legs and everything with Murphy's Oil Soap.

* I removed everything off the top of the refrigerator and washed it down...now what to put back up there....I don't want to put anything back up there! LOL

* Steve Jr is mulching the flower beds.

* I did buy all the party decorations already and Thank You cards.

* Steve's mulching left a lot to be desired, but it was a great start. I spent an hour and a half finishing up the mulch in front of the living room window and also the 2 flower circles next to our walkway. Sheesh there is a REASON I don't garden. LOL!

* I texted Steve to tell him that from now on don't buy food for the freezers, I'm trying to empty them to hold party food. Does that count as something accomplished? I also emptied out the bottom shelf of the kitchen freezer so now I can begin making the cheesecakes and also freezing the lemonade ice cubes. I think this counts because we need to eat the food we bought that sits there.

* I made 3 quarts of lemonade and filled 3 ice cube trays with it.

* Now I have a 2 gallon sized ziplock bags with lemonade ice cubes! It's the little details nobody sees that matter the most usually. :) I plan to find a strawberry drink mix and literally fill the container with lemonade ice cubes and strawberry drink mix.

* Now I have about 4 gallon sized ziplock bags filled with ice (so that's about 12 pounds) and my goal is 10. I bought 2 really large clear plastic bowls and then clear plastic veggie trays (circular with a bowl in the middle for dip). I plan on filling the bowls with ice and nestling the fruit and also veggie trays down in the ice since they'll be outside for a couple hours. On the invitation I did put a timeframe the food would be available so I don't have to leave food out for 5 hours or something!

* Steve power washed 3 sides of our house so far and also the front deck, yesterday I bought stain for the front deck and now we need to wait for the deck to dry up.

* The first of 3 cheesecakes are going into the oven in about 10 minutes. Woohoo! Food prep getting moving! And we've been eating the food out of the freezer diligently so we'll have plenty of freezer and fridge space for food.

Dancing With The Stars....Not My Pic

2009-05-20T11:30:00.002-04:00

Well although I really think that Shawn Johnson is darling, she's a professionally trained olympic gold medalist. I would expect she should be capable of training herself to do almost anything. The guy who gave her her last minute pep talk, the other winner who was also an olympic gold medalist said it best. Never has an olympic gold medalist been on the show and hasn't won the prize.

I mean come on, Kristi Yamaguchi??? SHE DANCED ON ICE AND WON A GOLD MEDAL FOR IT how is she a risk? She was light years ahead of the other competitors and she won while nobody seriously posed a threat.

Now Melissa took ballet and I know how hard cheerleaders for pro teams study dance. Not a stretch there either.

But Giles? He's never danced. That is a winner. How far Ty came? That is a winner. That is TRULY what the show is about. Not taking partially or professionally trained celebs and working them to the bone to produce amazing ballroom dances but taking someone that has never had a dance lesson in their life and teaching them how to be a ballroom dancer. The football players are excellent examples of what I think of when I think of DWTS.

You know there should be some prerequisite for being on DWTS that says you can't have had more than 5 years of dance training and all of those years had to happen before you were 10 years old.

By those standards Shawn still would have qualified of course. And she's cute and she came a long way which is why I am happy for her win. But Giles was the true winner this season. No dance training and goes from zero to 100 in 11 weeks. I don't care that he was sexy, really so what. He truly turned out to be a dancer. Sex appeal doesn't work on me in that way, I don't swoon over that kinda stuff and vote based on appearance. He turned out to be a fabulous dancer.

But Shawn is cute. And she did miss her prom. "Miss" her prom, I bet she missed it. Mmhmm. LOL!!!! This is better than prom.

Oh well. Just a little disappointed, that's all.

Sunday School Was Great Today

2009-05-17T12:47:00.003-04:00

I absolutely love the people in my class. The church I got to has multiple classes to choose from, so although it's a large church, I'm in a classroom with like 8 or so other couples. The women even get together on Monday nights to do Bible study. Now that Girl Scouts is over I might do that too, twice a month Monday nights were Girl Scout nights. And all the couples are relatively around my age and circumstance, late 20's, 30's and early 40's and all married with children. So we are all in the same place in life.

We're studying from a book called John 3:16 I think, it has introductory videos to each lesson that are just a few minutes long then leads you through discussion questions. I really enjoy it.

Today it occurred to me that maybe things would be easier for me if I put God and my house before my outside the home commitments. I always tell myself that I can't afford to do this or that because I HAVE to get X, Y and Z done no matter what. But I'm losing a lot of sleep and bits and pieces of my mind at the same time. I swear I even see more hair in the brush when I brush my hair after a shower, that hasn't happened since I coached cheerleading 3 years ago, talk about stress and losing sleep! LOL My learning curve was intense and I had no time to do it, I coached because we were already receiving the uniforms and nobody stepped up to be the coach.

So anyhoo I'm going to try an experiment. I know I have things that MUST be done by 4:00pm today but I am going to listen to the book of Mark some more and I am going to stop what I'm doing and clean the kitchen. That scares me a little because the things I need to do are time consuming.

I haven't mismanaged time or anything, I've started preparing for this day months ago, probably 6 months ago I started combing through every hard drive we've ever owned collecting the pictures I used for the girls' photobooks and I had that completed and in my possession by this past Tuesday so early by 4 days! :) Slideshow too, done early. Completed, burned, inserted into sleeves attached to the inside covers of the books. That was done and the books were rewrapped on Friday night.

But I have more big events coming up and I want hair left, need more sleep, less caffeine, and my house not only needs clean but repainted. I have tons to do.

So God and house before commitments. We'll try that, see how things go. I'm hoping for miracles because that's what I am in need of. And right now I'm going to go get a tall glass of water instead of (another) Doubleshots because slight dehydration can result in fatigue and mental fuzziness plus irritation. Just ask my kids if I'm easily irritated right now!!! I actually warn them, "I'm in a bad mood right now so please to find something to occupy your time so I don't yell at you for something that doesn't deserve it." At least I have the sense to warn my kids when to get out of my way...I'm even sticking to Christian or Classical music or even total silence to help keep distractions at bay!!!!!!

Love My Mac

2009-05-16T21:47:00.002-04:00

My son was wanting to take guitar lessons. I'm not driving to one more place until he's had piano (which he shows true gift for) for 3 years. Well guess what???? You can take guitar (and piano) lessons on your Mac! LOL Garage Band. I don't know if we bought it or it came with the computer. I show up to the computer and it runs with great programs. Getting to that point is my husband's job. I feign ignorance to the point that it became a self-fulfilling prophesy with regards to setting up the computer. I can run any program that ever dared to be downloaded to a computer simply from intuition but putting them on there or troubleshooting them? Only if I'm desperate. I accidently put iDVD in the trash and couldn't figure out what was wrong with it the other day. LOL

I've always said I'm not for women's lib. I'm not going to do anything I can get a man to do for me. Who wants to be equal? However, in our home, I'll gladly kill spiders (unless Steve's around) if he'll keep our computers running. Pays to be married to a technology addict ladies. That's one addiction that surely pays off.

Just Another Day In Paradise

2009-05-16T20:35:00.006-04:00

Well so far everybody has loved Candy's announcement picture. People who have it that I bump into love it. I need to sharpen my Photoshop skills and figure out how to price such a service. And if I keep the prices low enough to be reasonable for even home photo hobbyists I could really build a small business out of this. We shall see.

So today, what have I done? I woke up at 11:00am, my body is literally screaming for rest now.

I showered and drove to the flower store to buy white carnations so Jackie and I could start her science experiment. (dying carnations)

Then we went to storage and picked up 10 large vegetable cans the school gave me so I can paint them. Tomorrow we'll fill them with sand and put letters that spell out "Girl Scouts" in them. 1 letter per can. The letters were cut by my mom, they're about 10.5" and mounted to 12x12 scrapbook paper in green, turquoise and brown (Girl Scout colors) which I then had laminated. Mom is going to use a needle to make teeny holes to let the bubbles out (not being perfectly flat, they have little air bubbles around the lettering...mom, bless her huge heart, is going to take care of that and attach them with Dad's staple gun to 5 gallon paint stir sticks I bought). Once we stick the letters into the sand we will put yellow gerber daisies (fake) I bought in with them. They are going to line the edge of our stage, which is only about 6" off the ground.

I went to the post office to mail about 37 of Candy's announcements plus a Girl Scout slideshow to one of the ladies who has been so helpful to me at the council office.

I stopped at the drugstore to get rubber bands for Jackie, wrapping paper for my niece Mia's birthday present (it's soooooooo cute!!! A large snap-together pink, yellow and green hopscotch board! She has a fabulous basement to play with it in and a big back deck too.)

Then we went to the grocery store so I could buy some ingredients to begin making Candy's graduation cake and the food coloring to dye Jackie's carnations.

Lunch was drive through of course.

By the time we got all of our errands done we came home and quickly (I say quickly, it took about 45 minutes to "quickly" do this) labeled bud vases and perform the beginning of our science experiment, me taking pictures all the way.

Then I rushed to pack Jackie to go to Mia's birthday party. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought the party was at 5:00pm but I put 4:00pm in my calendar and good thing, she would have been 20 minutes late if it was actually at 4:00pm. As it was she was 40 minutes early. I chit chatted with my sister-in-law, she's really great I wish we lived closer, they live 40 minutes away. Smooched the niece and nephew and ran out the door.

Stopped at Texas Road House, no not to eat, I ate drive through, to drop my son off with my husband so they could have a boy's night out. The house is a wreck, they might as well, and I can't get to it until Monday I hope. Hubby, bless his heart, picked up the paint for the large cans at Home Depot for me to save me 30 minutes. And him a few hundred bucks maybe, I never go in and come out with just 1 thing.

Then off to the craft store to buy the flowers for the cans that will hold the Girl Scout lettering. This is also the time in which I secured mom's help in removing the little annoying bubbles.

Came home and marked the time for the flowers' first check and took multiple pictures of each of the 12 flowers to compare side-by-side. For sure starting them out in cold water helped rather than warm but marginally. My pictures were beautiful though, so that's all that mattered.

Then I laid out the drop cloth and spray painted all 10 cans.

Afterwards I gathered the laminated letters and stir sticks and drove them to mom's house for her to do when she gets home from her movie.

Now it's 9:00pm and before my head hits the sack I need to type up and print the programs for tomorrow's bridging ceremony, and I need to remember to buy my co-leader a picture frame for her picture. I printed all the girls an 8x10 of a picture I took on a "camp-out" (I don't rough it but they are teenagers so they don't care, we went to beautiful cabins in Shawnee State Park) the night before we did a college campus visit. Of course I used over 360 pictures and created a photobook for them over a week ago. We had our last official meeting on Thursday and I had the girls sign the books to each other, they wanted to take them home but I wasn't finished with them yet.

I also created and burned 13 copies of a slideshow representing the troop from 1997-2009. Low and behold I burned all 13 copies with the f-bomb as the first thing you hear. I didn't realize this of course. Some really great Green Day song I used started out with him missing a starting cord and apparently he drops the bomb before beginning again. So late last night I recreated the slideshow and burned 13 more copies. Then I glued CD sleeves into the front of their photobooks which is where I slid their copies of the slideshow.

Back to today, I get ahead of myself.

So anyhoo before my head hits the sack I need to type up and print out all of these programs, to which I am going to add a personal letter to my girls, a last farewell.

Then I need to sew one of my girls' patches on her sash, I had to drive (1 hour 1 way) yesterday to the Girl Scout store to recreated her sash since she was missing most of it and also pick up other missing odds and ends for others. She really needs to get herself some tan pants, I just texted her to make sure she has the money, she's the only one of the girls who will be wearing jeans and it's only right she knows that in advance. Sewing on the patches will take about an hour or so.

Then I need to mix up at least the cookie dough for the cookies we need to bring tomorrow.

And iron Candy's white shirt and get her clothes ready to go for the ceremony. Her tan pants need laundered and I think spot treated too. I also need to figure out what I'm wearing to make sure I don't need to launder something for me.

Tomorrow will be super relaxing as well.

Of course the cookies will need baked. I need to remember the other items I'm supposed to bring to the ceremony. At least I'll have (6) 18 year old slaves to help me set up. Well they can set up, I'll fiddle with my backdrop and projector. Or pass that baton to my husband so I can focus on things he can't do. We'll see if I'm feeling merciful.

I'll need to take the yard paint I bought and mark off the area where we don't want guests to sit at the ceremony up in the park. All the cuss words are cleaned off the bridge because I had my Cub Scouts do their Good Turn service project up there cleaning graffiti. At least the man who owns the hardware store donated the supplies, that was very kind of him, I need to take the photos I took and create a personalized thank you card for him to display somewhere near his register.

Then I'll set up our projector and also the photography backdrop and hang a tarp (for opacity) and white sheet on it to project the slideshow I created. That is the gathering activity, as people show up they can be entertained with a slideshow.

After that I want a cigar, a talllll glass of merlot and I want to watch something super funny. I don't care what it is. We'll have to go to the video store. Maybe stand-up comedy, I really want to laugh for a solid hour. That blue collar comedy tour guy with the fabulous hair, cigar and scotch is really very funny. Maybe that.

Then I can get ready for Candy's graduations on Thursday and Friday. A few of my Cub Scouts also need to do another conservation project so I'm meeting them on Wednesday to remove graffiti from the picnic tables at the park. If they were older I might suggest that they strip the picnic tables and repaint, but maybe when they are working on Eagle Scout I will do that with them who knows.

In the midst of all this I made the decision to put Steve Jr back in school, I think it's time, and also I'm holding him back. There is no reason on God's green earth why I would put him in his same grade level and watch him struggle for the next 7 years when I could choose to hold him back and watch him enjoy learning and school instead. His retention of facts is atrocious. I've literally trained him to say "I know we've studied that but I don't remember". I remember hearing him tell some relative that he's never heard of some continent. We've been working on geography and filling out maps for years. We even had a map up on the wall and periodically we'd just sit in front of it and find countries. One time a relative called and asked what he was doing. He said he was cleaning his room getting ready for his birthday party. No he wasn't!!!!! He was watching The Battle of Gettysburg and studying history at the moment!!!!! LOL He's watched that show about 7 times and the other day I quizzed him a bit...he couldn't remember what the southern army was called, or when the battle was fought, or anything. He's filled out worksheets, read books, you name it. But the material doesn't interest him and it's not sticking. We've been to Williamsburg Virginia twice in 1 year and he has no idea the timeframe that city was really alive now. Can't remember a detail. And we watched videos, I had him read books, we did all sorts of pre and post activities to strengthen his retention.

Hell we travel across the country every single year, all the way to Utah. Last year as part of a Cub Scout badge (but also school) I showed him how to plot a map to Utah including stops and we printed our travel plans. Then on the way home I made him (actually all the kids) mark off the turns and roads as we came to them from Utah to I don't know where and do you know he cannot fill in almost any states on the map????????

He has physically been to like more than half of them!!!!!!!!!!! Or driven through.

If Jackie had this same kind of attention to her education she would be ready for college in about 3 years. She begs me to teach her, she's practically teaching herself cursive right now and just about taught herself to read too. But I don't really want her way ahead of her class or she'll be bored and bored children are problem children. I'll just fill in her education with things like music and dance and extra reading and travel and things like that. I don't want to NOT teach her, but I don't want her bored in the classroom either. And there really is so much to learn in the world.

But let me assure you Steve Jr is quite intelligent. When a subject interests him he remembers the most mundane details with perfect clarity from hearing or seeing the subject matter a single time. Even while distracted. Astronomy is interesting him right now and he was telling me facts about our universe I didn't learn in college. But you won't find that a on a 4th grade standardized test. A test that he might possibly fail due to letting distractions keep him from even finishing at all. This past Halloween he wanted to do something to a costume to represent adamantium or something like that. It's the metal that was...somehow attached to all of Wolverine's bones and his knife things and is impenetrable. Or whatever. How does he know crap like that and cannot remember that Indiana, Michigan, Kentucky, West Virginia and Pennsylvania surround Ohio which became a state on March 3, 1803???????????????????? He's like evil genius or something. The secret is going to be to help him pass his grades and help him find that passion in life that is going to take him to his career. Because seriously his retention of information that interests him or relates to something that interests him is near genius level. He reminds me of my brother A LOT.

Anyhoo, 'nuff break. Markie texted me, she's got the money, she'll get the pants. Off to sew her patches on. Before I do I'm going to spend 30 minutes straightening the living room I think. Long enough to let the Doubleshots I'm about to drink seep into my bloodstream. And I forgot to take my blood pressure medicine this morning....well I did listen to like 6 chapters of Mark and I'm going to take 2 Eleuthero right now. That strengthens your adrenals and does all sorts of good things for you.

My Poor Son...

2009-05-15T04:27:00.003-04:00

Well it's happened. Steve looked up porn on the internet. Shocking I know. He's been taught, trained, brainwashed, warned...but he happened to be on the internet researching history and couldn't resist. He's very good on the internet, skilled I mean.

So of course now we've transformed our computer to be "safe" for kids. I didn't dream that a 10 year old would be interested in this, we didn't have any parental locks on the computer. Now of course it's locked up tighter than a bank vault. To use the computer at all he'll have to sign on to his own user file which limits everything from the hours of the day he can even access it to the amount of time per day he can even be on it. Of course I controlled internet sites he can visit and even programs on our computer he can access just to make sure he can't harm our computer files by accidently deleting something. Like I did.

I accidently threw iDVD into the trash and spent hours researching what was wrong when iPhoto wouldn't send a slideshow I made to iDVD. Duh.

Steve is sooooo spiritually aware. I know he's going to be tested. I'm not even truly freaked about this to be honest. I walked into the room and God told me to look into his history to see what he was looking at, something I've never done. He started crying immediately and true enough the history only had 2 sites and the history also showed he hasn't been doing this in the past so this is new.

Just 2 days ago he confessed something minor to me (not sins just feelings) and he was telling me how grateful he is that he can tell me anything. Of course I didn't overreact at all. But I told him that now he has to have a plan for removing these images and pushing them out when they crop up. Kids see all sorts of stuff on TV and in movies, so this is a good thing to learn anyway. Sad that it happened this way. My husband believed it was only a matter of time before he was exposed somehow, that doesn't justify it or make it ok. This is MY son. I don't care what other boys do. I was hoping this would never happen but I was thinking it would be more like 13 or 14 before the temptations hit. I should have known better, some of his friends are permitted to see movies and such that he isn't even allowed to ask me to see!!!

He has recently started reading his Bible for pleasure of his own accord and he's been BEGGING to get baptized. And praying too. I was just feeling smug that I'm in the clear with one kid, he's well on his way to a true relationship with God on his own terms, not growing spiritually vicariously through me as many children do for years, but through his own personal efforts. I know Satan doesn't leave kids alone who seek God diligently and early. Even God calmed me down quickly so I could handle this in a way that doesn't damage his trust in me.

We're getting him a reading light so he can fall asleep reading comics or something every night to keep the thoughts away before he goes to bed. Tonight I cracked a glow stick to get him started. I noticed he crawled into my bed after a few hours. I also told him that now that he has invited these images into his mind, Satan can use them against him at any time any place. He no longer needs to accidently see something on the TV or even be near a bad influence, now his mind can be his bad influence unless he protects it. And he needs to be on a regular diet of prayer and Bible study to beg God to remove as much as He is willing permanently. I saw images when I was a kid and some of those images have never left me, though they don't creep up of course. What 38 year old mom really cares about an image of some naked woman she saw when she was 8 years old? Not me of course. But I am not a preteen boy.

I explained to him about addictions of this nature. And I told him that when he is tempted, he does not need to be ashamed, he needs to tell me so we can redirect him immediately. And he will be tempted, this is not an indicator of him being "bad" it's just temptation plain and simple. I don't care if he needs to flip on a Sponge Bob episode in the middle of the school day, he HAS to manage this temptation. So we started working on a list of things he could do immediately to banish the thoughts and plans for managing the temptation after he's done that.

I should follow my own advice for eating late at night LOL!!!!

I know so many people think this is normal. Boys will be boys and all that jazz. But not my son. He's developed a very mature spiritual sensibility at a very young age. He faces obstacles that I think are abnormal for his age and he's learning to handle them well. I wonder about his future. I don't know what his destiny is but I can't help but think he's headed somewhere spectacular. I don't mean fame and fortune. I couldn't care less about that. I mean with God. Who knows?

But I did tell him we will need to crack down on the PG-13's. We limit his to superhero movies and such but sometimes they have scenes he really doesn't need to have in his mind either. I really need to find software for our Mac that allows us to crack the copy protection of feature films so I can edit them and burn "clean" copies. We had software on our PC like that, we just used it to make copies of movies for our car or whatever. Disposables. But editing movies for content is something moms need to be able to do. I only think it's illegal if you give them away or try to sell them which of course I would never do.

And I also told my husband, these conversations need to come from him. He has a book he read in preparation for teaching his Sunday School class about this subject, I'm going to have to read it. He read a few chapters, enough to teach his class, but he's going to read it more thoroughly now.

I can be distraught and blame myself or I can become armed for battle. I choose the latter. Teaching him how to manage temptations that are this powerful at 10 years old is never a bad thing. He is going back to school next year, maybe he's going to be exposed to things he needs to be fully prepared for? There must be a reason. And I can't lock up every computer he's going to have access to. Maybe crossing this bridge while he's not entering the hormonal changes of puberty is a good thing. I have to hope it is. Shoot if he caved to this temptation at 14 I would be filled with dread and fear because a 14 year old would have known how to hide his tracks or have the ability to hang out at friends' homes that are not so guarded. Locking up my computer will only protect him from finding access to these sites while in my home but in a few years he'll be hanging out at friends' homes much of the time. By then HOPEFULLY he'll be firmly on solid ground and he will painfully understand the dangers of giving in to temptations like these. And hopefully he won't have those kinds of friends anyway.

And those boobs he saw were sooooo fake. Gimme a break. LOL! (not really laughing here...)

Raising kids is sooooo challenging. But in a good way. I love it.

Now I need to log onto his user name and see if I can stumble onto anything by clicking on ads on "safe" sites or something.

Just Thought Of A Career For Me! LOL

2009-05-15T04:04:00.002-04:00

Well I'm always struggling with "what to do next?" Like when my kids are all in school and I actually have time. I finally thought of something...now I have to think of how to market and how to price.

I love photography. But photographers work when events happen or families can get together for pictures and so forth, prime time and weekends. Until my children are out of the house, that doesn't work for me. But I can keep working on my skills and collecting equipment and practicing of course. Good photography skills are going to end up saving me a ton of money, for example I'm saving about $1,200 right now because I'm doing my daughter's senior pictures and I'm doing multiple locations and clothing changes plus the cost of the prints and a photobook. So having the skills saves me money right now.

I love Photoshop but I don't want to go to a 9-5 job.

I also love working with children and think I would love teaching 2nd grade. I have a passion for reading and 2nd graders are very eager to learn and I especially love working with struggling readers, I seem to have a knack for those children in particular and having success with 2 children who struggled horribly in that area, and my techniques even working for a friend's son while my teenager tutored him...I know that would be good. But to go to college and then work 8-4 for the kind of pay teachers make...well I'd be teaching for years before I'd see any money out of it. I don't think I love it THAT much. And the junk teachers have to wade through and politics and children from bad homes and so forth...I don't actually think I have the stomach for it. And private schools don't hire new teachers. Pay would be the same I guess but work environment and children's home lives would be much improved of course.

Then it hit me! Photoshop is something I can do from home! How many photo studios have someone on staff really expert in Photoshop? And files can easily be transferred through the internet or FedExed on zip drives and so forth. I could work on commission so they wouldn't be out a dime unless the client purchased the photos and who wouldn't love artistically doctored photographs? I don't mean a simple switch to black and whites. I mean really creative transformations of photographs.

And then if I had a website offering services to average mommies who take good pictures but don't really know how to go from good to wow with their pictures because they don't really have the photo editing skills? Or even offering digital scrapbooking services if they have a group of themed photographs? Hmmmm I'm going to put some thought into this. I could do this from home on my own terms. I even know how to write my own actions in Photoshop to streamline common adjustments as well. Basically you record, 1 step at a time, changes to a photograph and then next time you want to achieve the same effect on a picture, you just hit "play" and it quickly takes the photographs through all the steps...like in a second or two.

I bet you wedding photographers would love to outsource this service so they can focus on what they do best...take the pictures. And I love Photoshop. I learn new techniques all the time as a hobby! LOL This is definitely a direction I should go. Then as my time allows I can add my own photography to the mix. One of my Girl Scouts had senior portraits taken but loved one of the ones I took of her so well she's ordering all of the wallets for her announcements from a picture I took. And it wasn't even one of my best, but it really was much better than the average ones out there. I'm no pro. In fact if I don't get the pictures I'm craving of my own daughter I intend on hiring her pictures done as well, my personal deadline is July. These moments just have to be captured.

Hmmmmm something to pray about....

Graduation Party Planning

2009-05-13T20:57:00.009-04:00

Well we're having Candy's graduation open house at our house. We were going to have it at my mother-in-law's house so everybody could swim, but Candy hates swimming. And she definitely doesn't want to be at her graduation party in a swim suit. And her boyfriend would insist on it. And if she can convince him not to swim, then most of her family would be around the pool watching their kids and not with her. So that's a great idea if the party isn't about Candy, but it is. I really wasn't thinking about her when I asked my MIL if we could have the party at her place.

The time will be from 4:00pm-whenever with food ready at 5:00pm (it's an open house) because at 8:30pm or dark we'll start an outdoor movie projected on our side wall, Quantum of Solace. Candy is VERY excited about that part! LOL I need to get 2 long poles stuck into the ground and clip a king sized sheet to them and see if that works. I'll do this in the shade of the trees so it'll get darker there first, plus that allows me to play a slideshow of Candy from birth to 18 too. And she'll have a Girl Scout slideshow by then as well.

I'll set up a memorabilia table with her 18th Bday photobook (birth to 18), Girl Scout photobook (12 years of Girl Scouts) and a senior pictures book. I still have to take her official senior pictures. I want to take her picture at school with her teachers, in front of the school, in front of the regular high school (she goes to the vocational center), in front of the Grant Memorial building (we met there for Girl Scouts for years), looking down the street as it appears today, then some downtown and at a park that a lot of people use for photography. I want a book full of pictures. I'll also have a framed picture with the kind of frame you sign of her in her cap and gown or one of her senior pictures.

We have tons of tree coverage for shade at our place. If the ground is dry enough we also have a great parking situation because the cars can line up along the front edge of our property vertically in which case we could get a ton of cars parked as well. Plus we can use our neighbors' driveways who are very close and they have tons of parking space so if the ground is not solid enough for cars, parking still isn't a problem and we can set up the tents to sit under on the driveway too if we have to.

Activities:
jungle gym
corn hole
hopscotch in the yard (I have yard paint)
basketball
sidewalk chalk
volleyball
marshmallow sling shot game (I actually bet Candy will love this)

I'll need a small table with a basket that holds sunscreen, hand sanitizer and bug spray for sure.

I'll put a small basket in the front bathroom with basic first aide stuff, tylenol, cleaning wipes, bandaides etc. I'll also want to put magazines in there or something. Plus I'll get some new room spray from Bath & Body works, the small little bottles. I already have some, but I want a fresh new scent. I don't have facial tissues in there, I'll need to remedy that. And maybe some mints, you know, the wrapped peppermints like you find in fancy bathrooms. Hell maybe I'll put out a tray of perfumes and colognes while I'm at it. I need to booby-trap the bathroom cabinet. They say guests always look in the bathroom cabinets at parties, this could be my fun little inside joke to self. Wish I had a way of getting a camera to go off when the door is opened. Or maybe up in the corner of the bathroom, pointed to the person sitting on the pot, I'll put one of those fake security cameras that has a real flashing light. There is all kinds of ways I could rig up the bathroom. Soap that turns the hands black. For sure I'll get my son to put one of his huge big plastic spiders in the corner, only noticeable to those sitted on the pot. This will be the bathroom from hell. I should put a severed head from a Halloween party on a stool in the tub in case anybody peeks into the shower stall to see what's there. ROFL!!!!!

Nah, maybe I'll just clean it good. That would work. And I'll do the mints, plus colognes and perfumes as a funny touch. Steve Jr has a set of sample sized colognes so I'm half way there.

I'm going to ask everybody to bring camper chairs. I have a bunch of plastic chairs and I'll have them set up, but just in case. And camper chairs are more comfortable than plastic chairs.

I'll set up the food on our huge front porch. I won't bother to cancel in case of rain with a huge tent. I really won't be able to, the cake will be made, invitations sent, etc etc. We have tons of tree coverage so shade and protection from light sprinkling is not a concern. I have a 10x20 tent and a 10x10 tent so being under shade/protected from rain isn't a problem.

For food I have this planned so far:

Her Aunt Hope is bringing 2 appetizers: Skyline Chili Dip & Spinach Artichoke Dip

I'm making or buying:

BBQ pulled pork Aunt Jenni is making this
Brats, Cheesy Mets & hot dogs
Pasta salad (2 days ahead)
Potato salad (2 days ahead)
Deviled eggs - Meme is making these
Baked Ziti (make next week and freeze)
MacNCheese (make next week and freeze)
Green beans (crock pot) - Dad will make it
Corn (crock pot) - Dad will make it
Cheese balls
BBQ chips
Crustable PB & J sandwiches (make and freeze now)

I don't have to have a huge quantity of any 1 thing of course.

Fruit platter (grapes, pineapple, strawberries, quartered clementines)
Veggie tray (blanched snap peas, blanched broccoli, blanched jicama, red peppers, cherry tomatoes, baby carrots Chipotle Ranch dip)

Condiment table:
Baby wipes
Napkins w/wrapped forks and spoons
Ketchup
Spicy Mustard
Regular Mustard
Dill relish
Sauerkraut
Cole slaw

Drinks:
Lemonade
Water
Pepsi
Diet Coke

I need to start hoarding gallon sized freezer bags filled with ice, that's easy to buy but annoying to have to make a run for during a party. Actually each gallon sized ziplock bag holds about 3 pounds of ice, I weighed it. And I have 2 so far and still more than 2 weeks to go. A gallon sized ziplock bag quantity of ice is way more convenient than the bags you buy at the store.

I need to make up a batch of lemonade and freeze into ice cubes so the lemonade doesn't get watered down

I'll keep adding to this post as I think of things.

If I do all that I'll be doing great. I checked a weather prediction website based on a farmer's almanac, it's not supposed to rain. :)

Candy's Graduation Announcement Pictures

2009-05-09T14:25:00.006-04:00

I haven't taken Candy's senior pictures yet, but I needed to get at least 1 great close-up so I could send it in her graduation announcements, and I do believe I got the picture. Of course I did some Photoshop work to it, and for kicks and giggles here's the original and the edited version. The colored picture looked sort of nice but the day was rainy and later in the afternoon and the lighting was all wrong. These weren't planned pictures, I was simply snapping some pictures after she was ready for prom but this one turned out so pretty I'm using it in her announcements which buys me some time to take the actual senior pictures. I was waiting on the leaves and flowers to bloom again, and then once that happened (2 weeks ago) I am limited to when I am able to take a day to go get pictures. I plan to go downtown and all over my hometown to get some awesome pictures.

You can click the images to take a closer look.

It's subtle but effective I think...at least it's my taste...Edited: